Why can't I own Canadians?
Discussion
I really like this. As someone who believes that faith is wonderful, but that religion is dangerous (because it sets rules not amenable to change, and turns the spirituality of faith into the whip of persecution), the letter below really appealed to me. Wonder what her answer was - bet she didn't give one.
[i]Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:[/i]
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
[i]Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:[/i]
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
That is brilliant.
a rather more elegant and thoroughly researched version of the arguments I used to make on my old school bus.
It was a catholic school and I support the dirty orange huns, as I was told every day, which made me one
ah, nothing like a good blinkered and segregated religious education philosophy.
a rather more elegant and thoroughly researched version of the arguments I used to make on my old school bus.
It was a catholic school and I support the dirty orange huns, as I was told every day, which made me one
ah, nothing like a good blinkered and segregated religious education philosophy.bad_roo said:
Where on Snopes is it?
"Dr Laura Letter" - listed as Legend - It has been around for a while.
AlexH said:
Urban Legend I'm afraid. Snopes really should be consulted with these sort of things.
ErnestM
Doesn't really matter if its true or not doesn't it though? Still makes its point about people who are obsessed with following religious texts too closely, of whatever faith.
It only matters if ir's true or not when setting up the preamble to the letter to validate it's authenticity. If the "letter" was just posted without preamble then we could all sit around and have a giggle (or not).
ErnestM
jasandjules said:
To me religion is the act of fighting over who has the best Imaginary friend.
No offence intended to anyone religios, but as an athiest..........
..you have no friends?
sorry had to be done, my imaginary friend ordered me to do it
Anyway I must be off to find a goat to sacrificeErnestM said:
It only matters if ir's true or not when setting up the preamble to the letter to validate it's authenticity. If the "letter" was just posted without preamble then we could all sit around and have a giggle (or not).
ErnestM
Fair point, well made!
Back to the original question at the top of thread, surely the answer is why on earth would you want to?
Although isn't Pamela Anderson Canadian? Wouldn't mind owing her...
Harry Flashman said:
Urban Legend I'm afraid. Snopes really should be consulted with these sort of things.
ErnestM
Well, even if it were, whoever wrote it has still done a great job. The fact that it wasn't sent to anyone doesn't diminish the logic, humour and truth behind it. Agree?
Are you certain of that? Have you, in fact, checked the Leviticus references yourself and satisfied yourself that they are all correct?
I've seen more than a few "quotations" from The Bible that were anything but.
Not saying that this is the case in this particular instance...just that a wise man checks both Snopes and the sources before believing blindly. (A point that those interested in the Scamera debate should remember, too!)
If you want to read some really out there stuff get yourself a copy of the Apocryphal New Testament.
Don said:
Are you certain of that? Have you, in fact, checked the Leviticus references yourself and satisfied yourself that they are all correct?
I've seen more than a few "quotations" from The Bible that were anything but.
Not saying that this is the case in this particular instance...just that a wise man checks both Snopes and the sources before believing blindly. (A point that those interested in the Scamera debate should remember, too!)
Since I work from home and had a few minutes, I just checked the references and they are pretty much bang on the money; with a few minor exceptions; it says you're not to have your hair cut as described but doesn't specify the penalty, shellfish are described as vermin and forbidden from being eaten but this is not described as an abomination, and its any physical defect that stops one from presenting food at the altar.
There is some other quite startling stuff there; if we still lived by that I think we'd make the Taliban look progressive and liberal!
Harry Flashman said:
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
The problem with these people making these type statements is that they don't 'interpret' the Bible - and they take everything literally. The Apostle Paul (who was also Jewish, by the way) said this in one of his letters: "Moses' Laws are good, but only if used correctly". He later referred to this particular Law: "don't muzzle an ox while it's treading the corn". He then goes on to say that this law has absolutely nothing to do with cattle, muzzles or grain. He said that it means: "If the leader of a Church is doing a good job, then he should be paid for his work". It's this type of interpretation that is needed.
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