Funniest song lyrics
Discussion
Lots of Zappa.
Most of Joe's Garage
Apostrophe
Dinah Moe Humm
"I couldn't say where she's coming' from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)
She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum
I don't mind that she called me a bum
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)
I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm"
Most of Joe's Garage
Apostrophe
Dinah Moe Humm
"I couldn't say where she's coming' from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)
She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum
I don't mind that she called me a bum
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)
I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm"
Lindemann (the lead singer of Rammstein)
praise abort said:
I like to f
k, but no French letter
Without a condom, the sex is better
But every time I get it in
A baby cries and sometimes twins
I have six kids and I don't like it
They eat too much and treat me like st
They only wear Posh label clothes
If you give one hand, they bite off both
And all my friends, they have big cars
Big mansions, too, and smoke the fine cigars
They have deep pockets, I don't know why
I look at my purse and start to cry
Why?
I hate my life
And I hate you
I hate my wife
And her boyfriend, too
I hate to hate and I hate that
I hate my life so very bad
I hate my kids, never thought
That I'd praise abort
Praise abort
Praise abort
I like to fk, but now French letter
'Cause without kids, life is so much better
So in the end, I got forced
To stay away from female intercourse
k, but no French letterWithout a condom, the sex is better
But every time I get it in
A baby cries and sometimes twins
I have six kids and I don't like it
They eat too much and treat me like s
tThey only wear Posh label clothes
If you give one hand, they bite off both
And all my friends, they have big cars
Big mansions, too, and smoke the fine cigars
They have deep pockets, I don't know why
I look at my purse and start to cry
Why?
I hate my life
And I hate you
I hate my wife
And her boyfriend, too
I hate to hate and I hate that
I hate my life so very bad
I hate my kids, never thought
That I'd praise abort
Praise abort
Praise abort
I like to f
k, but now French letter'Cause without kids, life is so much better
So in the end, I got forced
To stay away from female intercourse
https://youtu.be/aYDfwUJzYQg
Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver - Primus.
Ridiculous lyrics, truly excellent video & fantastic musicians. A bonkers bunch also known for the theme from South Park.
Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver - Primus.
Ridiculous lyrics, truly excellent video & fantastic musicians. A bonkers bunch also known for the theme from South Park.
Comedian Stan Boardman:-
Oh we're all going to Germany for the Cup
Oh we're all going to Germany for the Cup (yee-ha)
Oh we're all going to Germany, we're all going to Germany
Oh we're all going to Germany for the Cup
Singing ay-yay-yippee,
the Germans bombed our chippy,
ay-yay-yippee-yippee-yay (clap three times)
Some of us are going on the plane
Others from Dover on the train
A few of us with women
The rest of us are swimming
But we're all gonna get there just the same
We'll be drinking German lager in the pubs
we'll be dancing and singing in the clubs
and there's forty lads from Huyton
who said they won't be fighting
so there won't be any need for boxing gloves
Singing ay-yay-yippee,
the Germans bombed our chippy,
ay-yay-yippee-yippee-yay (clap three times)
Frankfurt, Munich and Berlin
we haven't got a ticket to get in
so we'll take a pick and shovel
and dig a massive trundle
and smuggle through inside a wheelie-bin (hee hee)
Carracher, Rooney and Gerrard
these lads are tough and very hard
and when they're in a battle
they won't shake or tattle
and they won't get a red or yellow card
we'll be taking lots of banners and some flags
there'll be thirty lads with ASBOs wearing tags
and when it's all over, we'll be heading back to Dover
so don't forget the 30, 000 fags
Eins, zwei, drei, vier, funf.
Oh we're all going to Germany for the Cup
Oh we're all going to Germany for the Cup (yee-ha)
Oh we're all going to Germany, we're all going to Germany
Oh we're all going to Germany for the Cup
- Singing ay-yay-yippee-yippee-yay (clap three times)
Singing ay-yay-yippee,
the Germans bombed our chippy,
ay-yay-yippee-yippee-yay (clap three times)
Some of us are going on the plane
Others from Dover on the train
A few of us with women
The rest of us are swimming
But we're all gonna get there just the same
We'll be drinking German lager in the pubs
we'll be dancing and singing in the clubs
and there's forty lads from Huyton
who said they won't be fighting
so there won't be any need for boxing gloves
Singing ay-yay-yippee,
the Germans bombed our chippy,
ay-yay-yippee-yippee-yay (clap three times)
Frankfurt, Munich and Berlin
we haven't got a ticket to get in
so we'll take a pick and shovel
and dig a massive trundle
and smuggle through inside a wheelie-bin (hee hee)
Carracher, Rooney and Gerrard
these lads are tough and very hard
and when they're in a battle
they won't shake or tattle
and they won't get a red or yellow card
we'll be taking lots of banners and some flags
there'll be thirty lads with ASBOs wearing tags
and when it's all over, we'll be heading back to Dover
so don't forget the 30, 000 fags
Eins, zwei, drei, vier, funf.
Got to be The Wurzels, Back of my old car:
A pretty girl came up to me – “What’s that thing supposed to be?”
I stepped back and said with pride – “You’ll find out when you step inside”
“I’ve done 80 in this one, you can be number 81”
Little darling gave a yell, jumped inside and we went like hell.
In the back of my old car, we won’t be travelling far
We’ll have a cuddle in the moonlight in the back of my old car
We won’t tell your mama, she won’t know where we are
You’ll be alright if you get inside, I’ll give you an economy ride
Everybody’s been satisfied in the back of my old car.
Into 1st and off we go, me engine shudders when the revs are low
Gaskets blowing, camshaft’s worn, gearbox grinds and me hood is torn
Just as she yells out “don’t stop” I get flagged down by a traffic cop
He said “my son did you know you were nearly up to 82?”
In the back of my old car, we won’t be travelling far
We’ll have a cuddle in the moonlight in the back of my old car
We won’t tell your mama, she won’t know where we are
You’ll be alright if you get inside, I’ll give you an economy ride
Everybody’s been satisfied in the back of my old car.
The seatbelt’s on so very tight, She looks a most attractive sight
Looking for a parking spot in case me big end gets too hot
Me tank is empty back end sags, all steamed up, exhaust pipe drags
Out of oil, me sump is dry, for one more time we’ll have a try
In the back of my old car, we won’t be travelling far
We’ll have a cuddle in the moonlight in the back of my old car
We won’t tell your mama, she won’t know where we are
You’ll be alright if you get inside, I’ll give you an economy ride
Everybody’s been satisfied in the back of my old car
A pretty girl came up to me – “What’s that thing supposed to be?”
I stepped back and said with pride – “You’ll find out when you step inside”
“I’ve done 80 in this one, you can be number 81”
Little darling gave a yell, jumped inside and we went like hell.
In the back of my old car, we won’t be travelling far
We’ll have a cuddle in the moonlight in the back of my old car
We won’t tell your mama, she won’t know where we are
You’ll be alright if you get inside, I’ll give you an economy ride
Everybody’s been satisfied in the back of my old car.
Into 1st and off we go, me engine shudders when the revs are low
Gaskets blowing, camshaft’s worn, gearbox grinds and me hood is torn
Just as she yells out “don’t stop” I get flagged down by a traffic cop
He said “my son did you know you were nearly up to 82?”
In the back of my old car, we won’t be travelling far
We’ll have a cuddle in the moonlight in the back of my old car
We won’t tell your mama, she won’t know where we are
You’ll be alright if you get inside, I’ll give you an economy ride
Everybody’s been satisfied in the back of my old car.
The seatbelt’s on so very tight, She looks a most attractive sight
Looking for a parking spot in case me big end gets too hot
Me tank is empty back end sags, all steamed up, exhaust pipe drags
Out of oil, me sump is dry, for one more time we’ll have a try
In the back of my old car, we won’t be travelling far
We’ll have a cuddle in the moonlight in the back of my old car
We won’t tell your mama, she won’t know where we are
You’ll be alright if you get inside, I’ll give you an economy ride
Everybody’s been satisfied in the back of my old car
“Uncle Stantons got his Texan pride,
Down in the thicket with his Asian bride”
James McMurtry, Chocktaw Bingo.
https://youtu.be/Nggqe-L9ZQ8
Down in the thicket with his Asian bride”
James McMurtry, Chocktaw Bingo.
https://youtu.be/Nggqe-L9ZQ8
Can't be bothered to type it all out but this is quite funny.
https://www.google.com/search?client=avast-a-1&...
https://www.google.com/search?client=avast-a-1&...
Always loved A Certain Romance by the Arctic Monkeys - back in the day before Alex Turner disappeared up his own arse
Well, oh, they might wear classic Reeboks
Or knackered Converse
Or tracky bottoms tucked in socks
But all of that's what the point is not
The point's that there ain't no romance around there
And there's the truth that they can't see
They'd probably like to throw a punch at me
And if you could only see 'em, then you would agree
Agree that there ain't no romance around there
You know, oh, it's a funny thing you know
We'll tell 'em if you like
We'll tell 'em all tonight
They'll never listen
Because their minds are made up
And course it's all okay to carry on that way
'Cause over there, there's broken bones
There's only music, so that there's new ringtones
And it don't take no Sherlock Holmes
To see it's a little different around here
Don't get me wrong, though, there's boys in bands
And kids who like to scrap with pool cues in their hands
And just 'cause he's had a couple o' cans
He thinks it's all right to act like a dhead
Don't you know, oh' it's a funny thing you know
We'll tell 'em if you like
We'll tell 'em all tonight
They'll never listen
Because their minds are made up
And course it's all okay to carry on that way
But I said no
Oh no
Well, you won't get me to go
Not anywhere, not anywhere
No, I won't go
Oh no no
Well, over there, there's friends of mine
What can I say? I've known 'em for a long long time
And, yeah, they might overstep the line
But you just cannot get angry in the same way
No, not in the same way
Said, not in the same way
Oh no, oh no no
Well, oh, they might wear classic Reeboks
Or knackered Converse
Or tracky bottoms tucked in socks
But all of that's what the point is not
The point's that there ain't no romance around there
And there's the truth that they can't see
They'd probably like to throw a punch at me
And if you could only see 'em, then you would agree
Agree that there ain't no romance around there
You know, oh, it's a funny thing you know
We'll tell 'em if you like
We'll tell 'em all tonight
They'll never listen
Because their minds are made up
And course it's all okay to carry on that way
'Cause over there, there's broken bones
There's only music, so that there's new ringtones
And it don't take no Sherlock Holmes
To see it's a little different around here
Don't get me wrong, though, there's boys in bands
And kids who like to scrap with pool cues in their hands
And just 'cause he's had a couple o' cans
He thinks it's all right to act like a d
headDon't you know, oh' it's a funny thing you know
We'll tell 'em if you like
We'll tell 'em all tonight
They'll never listen
Because their minds are made up
And course it's all okay to carry on that way
But I said no
Oh no
Well, you won't get me to go
Not anywhere, not anywhere
No, I won't go
Oh no no
Well, over there, there's friends of mine
What can I say? I've known 'em for a long long time
And, yeah, they might overstep the line
But you just cannot get angry in the same way
No, not in the same way
Said, not in the same way
Oh no, oh no no
Anything by NoFX but 72 Hookers and Franco-Unamerican are extremely childish but quite humorous, this is the latter
I never thought about the universe, it made me feel small
Never thought about the problems of this planet at all
Global warming, radio-active sites
Imperialistic wrongs and animal rights! No!
Why think of all the bad things when life is so good?
Why help with an 'am' when there's always a 'could'?
Let the whales worry about the poisons in the sea
Outside of California, it's foreign policy
I don't want changes, I have no reactions
Your dilemmas are my distractions
That's no way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco, Franco Un-American
I never looked around, never second-guessed
Then I read some Howard Zinn now I'm always depressed
And now I can't sleep from years of apathy
All because I read a little Noam Chomsky
I'm eating vegetation, 'cause of Fast Food Nation
I'm wearing uncomfortable shoes 'cause of globalization
I'm watching Michael Moore expose the awful truth
I'm listening to Public Enemy and Reagan Youth
I see no world peace 'cause of zealous armed forces
I eat no breath-mints 'cause they're from de-hoofed horses
Now I can't believe; what an absolute failure
The president's laughing 'cause we voted for Nader
That's no way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
Where can we go, Franco Un-American
I want to move north and be a Canadian
Or hang down low with the nice Australians
I don't want to be another "I-don't-care"-ican
What are we gonna do Franco, Franco Un-American
I never thought about the universe, it made me feel small
Never thought about the problems of this planet at all
Global warming, radio-active sites
Imperialistic wrongs and animal rights! No!
Why think of all the bad things when life is so good?
Why help with an 'am' when there's always a 'could'?
Let the whales worry about the poisons in the sea
Outside of California, it's foreign policy
I don't want changes, I have no reactions
Your dilemmas are my distractions
That's no way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco, Franco Un-American
I never looked around, never second-guessed
Then I read some Howard Zinn now I'm always depressed
And now I can't sleep from years of apathy
All because I read a little Noam Chomsky
I'm eating vegetation, 'cause of Fast Food Nation
I'm wearing uncomfortable shoes 'cause of globalization
I'm watching Michael Moore expose the awful truth
I'm listening to Public Enemy and Reagan Youth
I see no world peace 'cause of zealous armed forces
I eat no breath-mints 'cause they're from de-hoofed horses
Now I can't believe; what an absolute failure
The president's laughing 'cause we voted for Nader
That's no way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
Where can we go, Franco Un-American
I want to move north and be a Canadian
Or hang down low with the nice Australians
I don't want to be another "I-don't-care"-ican
What are we gonna do Franco, Franco Un-American
Get a Grip by Semisonic
Lonely boys and you lonely girls
Here at the end of the lonely world
You're finding out
If there's someone to cry about
Lonely girls and you lonely boys
Playing alone with your lonely toys
Well don't be blue
If there's no one to play with you
Get a grip on yourself you know you should
I got a grip on myself and it feels good
Get a grip on yourself take my advice
I got a grip on myself and it feels nice
When the lights come on and the party's through
There are always a few with nobody to do
Well now don't despair
You'll eventually get there
And meanwhile all of you lonely ones
Here's what to do while you wait for the sun
To rise above
The loneliest kind of love
Get a grip on yourself you know you should
I got a grip on myself and it feels good
Get a grip on yourself take my advice
I got a grip on myself and it feels nice
And it feels nice
And it feels nice 4x
If you're looking for someone to get a grip on you
First you gotta get a grip on yourself it's true
Lonely boys and you lonely girls
Here at the end of the lonely world
You're finding out
If there's someone to cry about
Lonely girls and you lonely boys
Playing alone with your lonely toys
Well don't be blue
If there's no one to play with you
Get a grip on yourself you know you should
I got a grip on myself and it feels good
Get a grip on yourself take my advice
I got a grip on myself and it feels nice
When the lights come on and the party's through
There are always a few with nobody to do
Well now don't despair
You'll eventually get there
And meanwhile all of you lonely ones
Here's what to do while you wait for the sun
To rise above
The loneliest kind of love
Get a grip on yourself you know you should
I got a grip on myself and it feels good
Get a grip on yourself take my advice
I got a grip on myself and it feels nice
And it feels nice
And it feels nice 4x
If you're looking for someone to get a grip on you
First you gotta get a grip on yourself it's true
Gassing Station | Music | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff