Contortion... and inappropriate remarks

[rich1231]

Right

Picture this.

Yourself and a crowd of XX XXXX mates have just had a wonderful meal in a delightful chateau. Conversation is high brow, the wine exquisite. Photographs of the chateau with cars in front are taken and the chateau owner is chatting away to you.

Then as you leave to walk ou a member of the group lterally out of nowhere says "I have a special talent, I can felate myself"

The sane memebers of the group tried to block this moment from our minds, but it popped up again at dinner in an equally upscale hotel sometime later.

Some of use have sort hypnosis since to block the mental imgaes the comment created.

How would you have responded?

[Vitesse39]

Vixpy do you want to say it or shall I ?

[rude girl]

rich1231 said:

How would you have responded?

"Excellent. Now would appear to be a good time to find somewhere quiet to go and do it"

[Plotloss]

rich1231 said:

How would you have responded?

I would have perhaps enquired:

'How do you make it out of the house?'

[NUTSKIE..]

Rich,

Surely you should have chastised him for bringing up such a topic at dinner. What on earth came over the chap ?

[liszt]

rich1231 said:

How would you have responded?

I knew you were a w@nker. This I didn't expect!

[NUTSKIE..]

Lizst,

Surely you would leave the mouthing off to him ?

[Plotloss]

Do you spit or swallow??

[Vitesse39]

At the dinner table you could have said "I'm affraid that's a rather tender subject, another slice anyone"?

[rude girl]

Plotloss said:

Do you spit or swallow??

That is not worthy of a man of your standing Plotty. OMG I want to heave now!

[rich1231]

Some other dinner guests did look both intrigued (the men) and dismayed (the women) as he extrapolated over the main course.

[Plotloss]

Hey, comedy gold like this doesnt come along often.

Rich had opportunity here the like of which comes along once, maybe, in a lifetime...

The chap should, by all reasonable means, got the absolute ribbing of his life for coming up (no pun intended) with that utter gem.

Mind you, 1 in a 1000 by all accounts. So there could be 30 blokes reading this very post who are similarly skilled...

[AlexH]

Bill Hicks talking about why women should give more bl*w jobs said:

A woman one night yelled out, "Yeah, you ever try it?" I said, yeah. Almost broke my back. It's that one vertebrae, I swear to God, it's that close. I think that vertebrae is going to be the thing to go in our next evolutionary step. Just a theory and a fervent prayer. Yeah, now all the guys are going, "Honey, I have no idea what he's talking about. I think he's a devil-child." That may be true, but guys, yyyyyou know what I'm talking about. I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight, guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.

[rich1231]

At dinner the offers of website deals were extended, sadly the extensions were quickly withdrawn in reaction to the gasps of other diners.

[Incorrigible]

rich1231 said:

Some other dinner guests did look both intrigued (the men) and dismayed (the women) as he extrapolated over the main course.

I have never heard it called that before

[PetrolTed]

[Neil_H]

Incorrigible said:

rich1231 said: Some other dinner guests did look both intrigued (the men) and dismayed (the women) as he extrapolated over the main course. I have never heard it called that before