Ham or cheeese exhaust manifolds
Ham or cheeese exhaust manifolds
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Discussion

cyberface

Original Poster:

12,214 posts

286 months

Monday 8th August 2005
quotequote all
We need an answer pretty quick on this one. For hemispherical 4-valve heads on a 3.5 litre V8 with 8500 rpm rev limit, with enough space to have pretty much a free design of exhaust manifolds, do we fabricate them out of cheeese or ham?

I've been told that serrano ham keeps the heat in the exhaust gasses and improves underbonnet temperatures, but there's a bloke down the road with a K-series Elise with 429.483 bhp who swears by cheeeese exhausts.

:confused:

slinky

15,704 posts

278 months

Monday 8th August 2005
quotequote all
Jarslberg...



slinky

tvrgit

8,489 posts

281 months

Monday 8th August 2005
quotequote all
I think he's confused.

The exhaust itself should be made of good ham. Parma is good, it resists "blueing" best.

What LOtus did withe the Elise to get that extra .429 BHP, was wrap the exhast in Kraft Cheese slices, as insulation. To the layman, this may give the impression of a cheese exhaust but that is plainly ridiculous.

Don't forget the Branston join sealer

Ace-T

8,400 posts

284 months

Monday 8th August 2005
quotequote all
Nurse! More medication here please!

Ace-T

tvrgit

8,489 posts

281 months

Monday 8th August 2005
quotequote all
ohh yes, night nurse please!

No don't take my crayons away!

DJ111S

30,316 posts

256 months

Monday 8th August 2005
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Thought dairylea was sealant?

School boy error, explains the blowing and wiff emanating from my tail pipe though.

hustlebabe

790 posts

255 months

Monday 8th August 2005
quotequote all
Ace-T said:
Nurse! More medication here please!

Ace-T





Reckon ham but Wiltshire.
Sealant: mustard

Had me meds at 10 nurse but they take a while to 'kick in'

tvrgit

8,489 posts

281 months

Monday 8th August 2005
quotequote all
and cats made from grosvenor pie with the egg scooped out... i taught my granny how to do that...

V8 Archie

4,703 posts

277 months

Monday 8th August 2005
quotequote all
tvrgit said:
I think he's confused.

The exhaust itself should be made of good ham. Parma is good, it resists "blueing" best.

What LOtus did withe the Elise to get that extra .429 BHP, was wrap the exhast in Kraft Cheese slices, as insulation. To the layman, this may give the impression of a cheese exhaust but that is plainly ridiculous.

Don't forget the Branston join sealer

That's absolute rubbish. There are lot's of quack websites around recommending their own ham exhausts to increase power output, but they generally only make the horses sick.

The manifolds themselves are made from Edam. Over repeated heat cycles this firms up slightly. Eventually holes begin to appear where the fours pipes join you begin to get holes appearing. This is such a well known phenomenum that you should expect a call from the Emmental company at this point. They will happily replace your ailing manifolds with brand new Edam exhausts at a discount as long as they can keep your old ones.

Beware, though, as I've heard that their new ones are often slightly inferior and become holed more quickly than the genuine Dutch ones.

Most cars used to use fresh Parma ham gaskets, but these tend to fail quite quickly in comparison to the modern tinned variety.

tvrgit

8,489 posts

281 months

Monday 8th August 2005
quotequote all
V8 Archie said:
The manifolds themselves are made from Edam. Over repeated heat cycles this firms up slightly. Eventually holes begin to appear where the fours pipes join you begin to get holes appearing. This is such a well known phenomenum that you should expect a call from the Emmental company at this point. They will happily replace your ailing manifolds with brand new Edam exhausts at a discount as long as they can keep your old ones.


Archie me old mate you've fallen for the oldest scam in the book - they charge you for edam but they actually give you very thin Kraft slices concealing a base of streaky bacon, which has no structural integrity whatsoever once the rind melts.

OF COURSE they keep the old ones - after that case in switzerland where some daft bint took hers apart and then reported them to trading standards.

V8 Archie said:
Beware, though, as I've heard that their new ones are often slightly inferior and become holed more quickly than the genuine Dutch ones.

Far east imitations made of Gorgonzola...

V8 Archie said:
Most cars used to use fresh Parma ham gaskets, but these tend to fail quite quickly in comparison to the modern tinned variety.

only if you don't salt them first

V8 Archie

4,703 posts

277 months

Monday 8th August 2005
quotequote all
tvrgit said:
Archie me old mate you've fallen for the oldest scam in the book - they charge you for edam but they actually give you very thin Kraft slices concealing a base of streaky bacon, which has no structural integrity whatsoever once the rind melts.
What! You are gonna get problems boy! It's the original Dutch ones that have the thin layer of crackling down the middle to add strength. Without that they start to hole all over (rather than just at the join), just like those supplied by Emmental.

Pigeon

18,535 posts

275 months

Tuesday 9th August 2005
quotequote all
You really want the exhausts made out of Venezuelan beaver cheese, but they don't half cost a packet and they're as rare as rocking horse shit.

The good thing is that if the fitters give you the runaround about being out of stock you are allowed to shoot them.