What to do with elderly parents with dementia
Discussion
Well this crept up on us rather sooner than expected.
Within the space of a year my in-laws have gone from being fit, active, and generally healthy adults to complete liabilities.
My mother in law has gone completely senile, and can no longer remember basic stuff, like how to prepare food, or what the telephone does.
My father in law had a cancer op which hasn't gone well, and he's basically in a hospital bed unable to make any sense for the next six months, if ever.
Basically we have a pair of very elderly children now.
My wife has gone down there (the Lot) to look after them but she cannot just drop everything, so we need to sort out things.
I guess we need to somehow gain legal access to their banks, etc, to pay for ongoing care, bills, etc but can we?
I expect it's probably to late, as getting any sense out of either is tricky, to assign power of attorney.
I'm reading about Curatelles, tutelles, etc and wondering what to do.
Does anyone have experience of this?
Within the space of a year my in-laws have gone from being fit, active, and generally healthy adults to complete liabilities.
My mother in law has gone completely senile, and can no longer remember basic stuff, like how to prepare food, or what the telephone does.
My father in law had a cancer op which hasn't gone well, and he's basically in a hospital bed unable to make any sense for the next six months, if ever.
Basically we have a pair of very elderly children now.
My wife has gone down there (the Lot) to look after them but she cannot just drop everything, so we need to sort out things.
I guess we need to somehow gain legal access to their banks, etc, to pay for ongoing care, bills, etc but can we?
I expect it's probably to late, as getting any sense out of either is tricky, to assign power of attorney.
I'm reading about Curatelles, tutelles, etc and wondering what to do.
Does anyone have experience of this?
OK, well that is an excellent hospital.
Try the Direction Departementale de la cohesion sociale et de la protection des populations (DDCSPP) in Cahors.
https://demarchesadministratives.fr/ddcspp/cahors-...
It's just round the corner from the hospital, like 400m.
There might even be an Assistante Sociale in the hospital, who works for them.
Try the Direction Departementale de la cohesion sociale et de la protection des populations (DDCSPP) in Cahors.
https://demarchesadministratives.fr/ddcspp/cahors-...
It's just round the corner from the hospital, like 400m.
There might even be an Assistante Sociale in the hospital, who works for them.
Edited by nickfrog on Tuesday 24th May 20:37
Well, the situation has developed in one unpredictable and one inevitable way.
My wife's mother was (after my wife had a stand-off with people in Cahors hospital and walked out leaving her there after they wanted to send her home alone with a broken pelvis and unable to stand) eventually admitted to an excellent nursing home (Les Berges du Lot for those in the Cahors area), where she died a pain-free death of bone cancer/lots of morphine a day after the Queen did the same.
My father-in-law on the other hand defied the medics and made a complete recovery. Once better he and my wife popped off to the notaire and sorted out power of attorney for her. He's up and about, has a new car and is getting back to having his own life again.
My wife's mother was (after my wife had a stand-off with people in Cahors hospital and walked out leaving her there after they wanted to send her home alone with a broken pelvis and unable to stand) eventually admitted to an excellent nursing home (Les Berges du Lot for those in the Cahors area), where she died a pain-free death of bone cancer/lots of morphine a day after the Queen did the same.
My father-in-law on the other hand defied the medics and made a complete recovery. Once better he and my wife popped off to the notaire and sorted out power of attorney for her. He's up and about, has a new car and is getting back to having his own life again.
Sebastian Tombs said:
Well, the situation has developed in one unpredictable and one inevitable way.
My wife's mother was (after my wife had a stand-off with people in Cahors hospital and walked out leaving her there after they wanted to send her home alone with a broken pelvis and unable to stand) eventually admitted to an excellent nursing home (Les Berges du Lot for those in the Cahors area), where she died a pain-free death of bone cancer/lots of morphine a day after the Queen did the same.
My father-in-law on the other hand defied the medics and made a complete recovery. Once better he and my wife popped off to the notaire and sorted out power of attorney for her. He's up and about, has a new car and is getting back to having his own life again.
Commiserations, but also be grateful for a quick ending, my father died of the same as your Mil, but it wasn't pain free by any stretch. My wife's mother was (after my wife had a stand-off with people in Cahors hospital and walked out leaving her there after they wanted to send her home alone with a broken pelvis and unable to stand) eventually admitted to an excellent nursing home (Les Berges du Lot for those in the Cahors area), where she died a pain-free death of bone cancer/lots of morphine a day after the Queen did the same.
My father-in-law on the other hand defied the medics and made a complete recovery. Once better he and my wife popped off to the notaire and sorted out power of attorney for her. He's up and about, has a new car and is getting back to having his own life again.
Good to hear your FiL is making a recovery.
Sadly after it all looking great FiL had a stroke which has ruined him physically, and then shortly afterwards a seizure, which has made him a bit senile now. Both were probably caused by the radiotherapy he was having on a tumour he had on the back of his head. However, we know what to do now, so we arranged everything and now he's in a nice retirement home in the centre of Cahors right by the river. My wife has started process to activate the mandat and we are preparing to sell the house when we are allowed to.
FIL died in January this year. He was really ready for it, having made close to zero progress recovering from the stroke.
The house still hasn't sold, but it's France. These things take time.
It's nice not having to go there anymore and having our lives back. We've just got to remove anything of value before the govt bailiffs assess the estate for inheritance tax.
The house still hasn't sold, but it's France. These things take time.
It's nice not having to go there anymore and having our lives back. We've just got to remove anything of value before the govt bailiffs assess the estate for inheritance tax.
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