Any Funny Stories from work
Discussion
After reading "Any funny Stories from School",i just thought i would post a funny story from work.
A few years back i was doing some chauffer work for a local cab company,i had an early morning Heathrow "take up" and on clearing headed back to the office in Basingstoke,as i walked into the office i noticed the girl behind the screen at the back of the office was in a panic! she had a Funeral job to cover and had the car but no one to drive it,so she instructed me to drive to the boss's drum and pick up the Mercedes limo to do the job(hold on i thought ime a giggler,funerals are not my thang :hehe:)
I was told that the hearse had some accident damage to the front and was going on ahead so all i would have to do was to pick up the family of the deceased and take them over to Aldershot crematorium,only thing was i didnt know where Aldershot Crem was so Kate gave me the directions which included at the end "drive down Hale hill and you will see signs for the crematorium",No sweat i thought.
The Limo was all clean when i picked it up so i set off for the house and turned into Falkland road in Basingstoke to the sight of 20 to 25 cars lined up down the side of the road,i had never done a Funeral before so i was a bit nervous,after all youre talking to a "Giggler" here :hehe:.
I helped the deceased 's wife 2 other old girls and the son in the limo then set off with the longest cruise i had ever been involved in(all the time trying to act prim and proper for the occasion AND NOT TO GIGGLE),well the long and short of it is i followed Kates directions to a tee till i got to the bottom of Hale Hill,,,,,,there was NO sign:yikes:in a flash i had to make a decision so i turned left(the wrong way i found out later)no probs i thought there's bound to be a sign,i checked the mirrors to see all the other cars following,my temperture began to soar as it was evident there was no sign for the crem to be seen any where and in a panic i took another left to try and bring me back round to where i had come from only to drive up a DEAD END road.
I have this lasting picture of 20 plus vehicles jammed up a side street in the middle of aldershot,it was messy and if the deceased's wife had not joked about the situation ime sure i would of pulled on the hand brake and done a runner :o in the end i couldnt hold it and had an attack of the giggles ,,it wasnt long before all my passengers were joining in,crazy hehehe.
A few years back i was doing some chauffer work for a local cab company,i had an early morning Heathrow "take up" and on clearing headed back to the office in Basingstoke,as i walked into the office i noticed the girl behind the screen at the back of the office was in a panic! she had a Funeral job to cover and had the car but no one to drive it,so she instructed me to drive to the boss's drum and pick up the Mercedes limo to do the job(hold on i thought ime a giggler,funerals are not my thang :hehe:)
I was told that the hearse had some accident damage to the front and was going on ahead so all i would have to do was to pick up the family of the deceased and take them over to Aldershot crematorium,only thing was i didnt know where Aldershot Crem was so Kate gave me the directions which included at the end "drive down Hale hill and you will see signs for the crematorium",No sweat i thought.
The Limo was all clean when i picked it up so i set off for the house and turned into Falkland road in Basingstoke to the sight of 20 to 25 cars lined up down the side of the road,i had never done a Funeral before so i was a bit nervous,after all youre talking to a "Giggler" here :hehe:.
I helped the deceased 's wife 2 other old girls and the son in the limo then set off with the longest cruise i had ever been involved in(all the time trying to act prim and proper for the occasion AND NOT TO GIGGLE),well the long and short of it is i followed Kates directions to a tee till i got to the bottom of Hale Hill,,,,,,there was NO sign:yikes:in a flash i had to make a decision so i turned left(the wrong way i found out later)no probs i thought there's bound to be a sign,i checked the mirrors to see all the other cars following,my temperture began to soar as it was evident there was no sign for the crem to be seen any where and in a panic i took another left to try and bring me back round to where i had come from only to drive up a DEAD END road.
I have this lasting picture of 20 plus vehicles jammed up a side street in the middle of aldershot,it was messy and if the deceased's wife had not joked about the situation ime sure i would of pulled on the hand brake and done a runner :o in the end i couldnt hold it and had an attack of the giggles ,,it wasnt long before all my passengers were joining in,crazy hehehe.
Wedg1e...
minimax said:
Then there was the 'solvent cleaner down the bog' jape...
the one that occasioned the fireball?
That's the one.
Also, tales from my taxi days...
We had a driver called Andy Willis who was so dense he didn't see any reason why he shouldn't be sent to the the local fire station at 0200 hours to pick up 'Sam'.
The Station Officer, apparently, was not amused.
He was also sent to a pub for a Jimmy Riddle; upon entering the bar and shouting for the eponymous Mr. Riddle, the barman directed him to the Gents...
His most annoying habit, though, was to drive wth a pen in his mouth, which made it hard for the radio op to understand what he was saying.
So one night after Willis had gone home, the radio op got Willis' clipboard off its peg, removed the pen from the clip, carefully wiped it up the crack of his fat sweaty arse and replaced the pen on the clipboard.
I wish to christ I'd been there the next morning...
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