Life is complicated.
Discussion
I post regularly here and I thought I would beam this out into the ether, life is complicated at the moment and perhaps one of you beauties may throw some advice my way.
I'm not a believer in love at first sight, but I am a believer in million degree magic from the second your eyes meet. Well, that happened to me folks!
At local village events, I met this woman, she had a real something about her, from our body language, I just knew it was mutual. I was with a girlfriend at the time and an onlooker told this woman "He's got a girlfriend". It was obvious to everyone, we just clicked. Anyway, we flirted with each other and I realised that she was wonderful, every last aspect of her was truly beautiful, you know when you know folks! This woman was a dream come true. So, in an out of character moment of confidence, I decided to do something about it, so about 2 months ago, I walked her home. On the way, we just had magical electric tension and then finally kissed, it was truly amazing, the stuff that dreams were made of. We talked all night and every word just touched my soul, she was just perfect........
So, time progressed and we got together here and there for a crafty snog. I wasn't sure of what was going on totally but we were keeping it quiet from the village gossip hounds. So, I didn't see her for a while, got a bit cagy and one night at the pub, (under close scrutiny of the jealous competition) I passed her a pen with a note inside it* Cutting a long story shorter, I have virtually lived at her place for a few weeks, we have the most mind blowing sex, conversation and an effortless automatic, lazy bond. In short, we are like hand and glove, a proper 1 in a billion fit together match.
And that's where it all goes tits up.
I get to the point where I ditch my defences and say take my soul or kill it, the bare belly of total vunerability.......then more detail comes out.
So, the woman has a nice house, a few kids from a marriage which went wrong. Husband was playing away from home, abandoned her......game over. She's had a bit of a struggle and that was it. I rock up and make her life perfect and vice versa. There is no evidence of a chap and so I assume that they split up......
APART FROM a little thing, the guy abandoned this beauty and then decided after 4 years of nailing everything which moved, he was going to do the right thing by his kids and tried to make it better....So, matey works in Iraq and is away lots (hence not there!) and back for a few weeks at a time. He's under the impression that they are still together but in her mind it's over and just a matter of time before she gets him around to the fact. (NB: Bearing in mind this bloke is emotionally immature and a bit of an unknown quantity, can be jealous/cruel/violent).
The prerogative of the lady is to bin this chap, overcome the guilt for her kids and get her life together. I don't think she banked on meeting me and getting blown off her feet. So, we've embarked on a bit of a dangerous thing with a very difficult situation. That's why we were poking around so much with messages in pens/etc, avoiding the grapevine and the consequences of him finding out prematurely.
*-Funnily enough I've met the guy and thought he was a friend. He's well suspicious of me, he's been doing things like forcing her to produce evidence of her innocence. ie:- demanding to look at the pen I gave her, checking emails. What is worse is that the bloke isn't a good communicator, there will be little reasoning with him.
Anyway, we've got to the point where we're sure about where we're going and it's time to set everyone straight. That still means being discreet as finding out via the grapevine is likely to arouse rage in this chap. (and as a hit man, yes! I don't really want to piss him off).
So there I am a couple of nights ago about 2:30 am going at it like a frenzied pile driver on price work :D and in comes son :paperbag: and gets an eyeful. (little blighter won't need any birds and bees talks!) :boxedin: So, now we have an even bigger problem, the kids got their hopes up that mummy and daddy would work it out and according to the bird, this is impossible. So, everything has got hideously complicated.
Mr Hit Man is likely to be on my case with his SAS mantraps and hold me hostage and peel off my skin!. The kids are going to be inconsolable, hopefully I can keep it all together and offer support where necessary.
I believe that I've found love in its purest form, a wonderful person who surpasses any previous concept of amazing by infinity. But, it's so complicated.
As they say, a problem shared......well I figure I have about 1/20000 of a problem now, thanks.
I'm not a believer in love at first sight, but I am a believer in million degree magic from the second your eyes meet. Well, that happened to me folks!
At local village events, I met this woman, she had a real something about her, from our body language, I just knew it was mutual. I was with a girlfriend at the time and an onlooker told this woman "He's got a girlfriend". It was obvious to everyone, we just clicked. Anyway, we flirted with each other and I realised that she was wonderful, every last aspect of her was truly beautiful, you know when you know folks! This woman was a dream come true. So, in an out of character moment of confidence, I decided to do something about it, so about 2 months ago, I walked her home. On the way, we just had magical electric tension and then finally kissed, it was truly amazing, the stuff that dreams were made of. We talked all night and every word just touched my soul, she was just perfect........
So, time progressed and we got together here and there for a crafty snog. I wasn't sure of what was going on totally but we were keeping it quiet from the village gossip hounds. So, I didn't see her for a while, got a bit cagy and one night at the pub, (under close scrutiny of the jealous competition) I passed her a pen with a note inside it* Cutting a long story shorter, I have virtually lived at her place for a few weeks, we have the most mind blowing sex, conversation and an effortless automatic, lazy bond. In short, we are like hand and glove, a proper 1 in a billion fit together match.
And that's where it all goes tits up.
I get to the point where I ditch my defences and say take my soul or kill it, the bare belly of total vunerability.......then more detail comes out.
So, the woman has a nice house, a few kids from a marriage which went wrong. Husband was playing away from home, abandoned her......game over. She's had a bit of a struggle and that was it. I rock up and make her life perfect and vice versa. There is no evidence of a chap and so I assume that they split up......
APART FROM a little thing, the guy abandoned this beauty and then decided after 4 years of nailing everything which moved, he was going to do the right thing by his kids and tried to make it better....So, matey works in Iraq and is away lots (hence not there!) and back for a few weeks at a time. He's under the impression that they are still together but in her mind it's over and just a matter of time before she gets him around to the fact. (NB: Bearing in mind this bloke is emotionally immature and a bit of an unknown quantity, can be jealous/cruel/violent).
The prerogative of the lady is to bin this chap, overcome the guilt for her kids and get her life together. I don't think she banked on meeting me and getting blown off her feet. So, we've embarked on a bit of a dangerous thing with a very difficult situation. That's why we were poking around so much with messages in pens/etc, avoiding the grapevine and the consequences of him finding out prematurely.
*-Funnily enough I've met the guy and thought he was a friend. He's well suspicious of me, he's been doing things like forcing her to produce evidence of her innocence. ie:- demanding to look at the pen I gave her, checking emails. What is worse is that the bloke isn't a good communicator, there will be little reasoning with him.
Anyway, we've got to the point where we're sure about where we're going and it's time to set everyone straight. That still means being discreet as finding out via the grapevine is likely to arouse rage in this chap. (and as a hit man, yes! I don't really want to piss him off).
So there I am a couple of nights ago about 2:30 am going at it like a frenzied pile driver on price work :D and in comes son :paperbag: and gets an eyeful. (little blighter won't need any birds and bees talks!) :boxedin: So, now we have an even bigger problem, the kids got their hopes up that mummy and daddy would work it out and according to the bird, this is impossible. So, everything has got hideously complicated.
Mr Hit Man is likely to be on my case with his SAS mantraps and hold me hostage and peel off my skin!. The kids are going to be inconsolable, hopefully I can keep it all together and offer support where necessary.
I believe that I've found love in its purest form, a wonderful person who surpasses any previous concept of amazing by infinity. But, it's so complicated.
As they say, a problem shared......well I figure I have about 1/20000 of a problem now, thanks.
I'm sorry to hear your problems, though my situation is different I know how you feel. I think you are feeling the type of love that actually physically hurts. Unfortunately Love is one of the two things that humans have no control over (the other is death). I am having problems at the moment as I have made the mistake of falling for a mate. I am not sure yet whether the feeling is mutual and its made all the more difficult by the fact that I cannot avoid seeing her - Her best mate is my best mates girlfriend so our social lives are pretty integrated!
Sorry to hijack your thread....all I have to say is that although the kid seeing you is highly unforntuate it may just help by forcing you all to be open about your feelings to those around you. Sure it's going to hurt people but at least you'll be able to openly show your love for this woman and vice versa.
Sorry to hijack your thread....all I have to say is that although the kid seeing you is highly unforntuate it may just help by forcing you all to be open about your feelings to those around you. Sure it's going to hurt people but at least you'll be able to openly show your love for this woman and vice versa.
Essentially, we are very, very happy. What I thought to be the real thing was about 20% on the mark.
The key issue is the chap and making sure he gets the message that it's over firmly and fairly without getting hurt. However, what is likely to happen is that he will require a bit of a push, produce a reaction and go on a half arsed course of blame and revenge. I'm not in the slightest bit aggro, anger can make a dwarf beat up a giant. An angry military hit man with an insufficient grip on his behaviour is probably not a good person to have stalking yo' ass! I have lots of empathy, I'm kind and considerate but I don't tolerate idiots. If the bloke doesn't behave himself, I'm likely to put him properly straight.
The kids will get arond everything with the right support. I suppose it's better that their mum is happy. She's an amazing woman.
That's it from me.
The key issue is the chap and making sure he gets the message that it's over firmly and fairly without getting hurt. However, what is likely to happen is that he will require a bit of a push, produce a reaction and go on a half arsed course of blame and revenge. I'm not in the slightest bit aggro, anger can make a dwarf beat up a giant. An angry military hit man with an insufficient grip on his behaviour is probably not a good person to have stalking yo' ass! I have lots of empathy, I'm kind and considerate but I don't tolerate idiots. If the bloke doesn't behave himself, I'm likely to put him properly straight.
The kids will get arond everything with the right support. I suppose it's better that their mum is happy. She's an amazing woman.
That's it from me.
t phase before they wake up eh? Same thing happened to me once without all the agro
but i let the relationship fizzle out.
Firstly i think you'll be fine in regards to being beaten up etc. Sure you may get a smack or two but the key thing is to follow the route of law.
Be carefull the relationship doesn't burn out though.
I take it you are willing to take on her kids ( oh and lock the door next time ).
She had decided the relationship was over when she met you, possibly even before and hence the flirting.
The hardest part will be waiting for him to come back so you can confront it. Be cool though.
Whats her plan? I bet she has one.
Good luck Mate
but i let the relationship fizzle out. Firstly i think you'll be fine in regards to being beaten up etc. Sure you may get a smack or two but the key thing is to follow the route of law.
Be carefull the relationship doesn't burn out though.
I take it you are willing to take on her kids ( oh and lock the door next time ).
She had decided the relationship was over when she met you, possibly even before and hence the flirting.
The hardest part will be waiting for him to come back so you can confront it. Be cool though.
Whats her plan? I bet she has one.
Good luck Mate
I would say that you have a difficult piece of truthful talking and a posible confrontation looming...BUT...that is the right thing to do and the sooner the better for all concerned. The kids will certainly benefit from having a happy mum in a loving relationship so you know what has to be done.
Good luck with it all...be brave and let what will be happen. It is the only way.
Good luck with it all...be brave and let what will be happen. It is the only way.
Ooh heck, complicated it is.
Well, dont mean to be negative- but dont fully trust her until you have her all to yourself, I would say that to anyone with a partner who is playing away from home, she may be a different person when she is with him.
Apart from that, good luck with it all, I take it you are now single?
Well, dont mean to be negative- but dont fully trust her until you have her all to yourself, I would say that to anyone with a partner who is playing away from home, she may be a different person when she is with him.
Apart from that, good luck with it all, I take it you are now single?
oh-man! said:
Essentially, we are very, very happy. What I thought to be the real thing was about 20% on the mark.
The key issue is the chap and making sure he gets the message that it's over firmly and fairly without getting hurt. However, what is likely to happen is that he will require a bit of a push, produce a reaction and go on a half arsed course of blame and revenge. I'm not in the slightest bit aggro, anger can make a dwarf beat up a giant. An angry military hit man with an insufficient grip on his behaviour is probably not a good person to have stalking yo' ass! I have lots of empathy, I'm kind and considerate but I don't tolerate idiots. If the bloke doesn't behave himself, I'm likely to put him properly straight.
The kids will get arond everything with the right support. I suppose it's better that their mum is happy. She's an amazing woman.
That's it from me.
Am I the only one to perhaps not totally believe the one sided story above?
If she so happy with you, why hasnt she put the other bloke straight?
Has she suggested the guy is erm aggro to make you not question her behaviour?
I could ask loads of other questions, but despite your hormones disabling your ability to think straight..its up to you how hurt you get.
Let's see...
My other half/ex other half is a loser/nutter/a saddo/unfaithful/violent/bad to the kids and that justifies me leaving/infidelity/cleaning them out.
Haven't you heard that line before somewhere? I mean anywhere at all? Most women trot this line out when they are dumping on some poor guy and what they say is usually utter rubbish.
Usually. Just once in a while a woman will say this and it's true, but it's rare.
You say you met him and he seemed OK. Do you seriously not question at least some of what she is telling you about him or their relationship?
My other half/ex other half is a loser/nutter/a saddo/unfaithful/violent/bad to the kids and that justifies me leaving/infidelity/cleaning them out.
Haven't you heard that line before somewhere? I mean anywhere at all? Most women trot this line out when they are dumping on some poor guy and what they say is usually utter rubbish.
Usually. Just once in a while a woman will say this and it's true, but it's rare.
You say you met him and he seemed OK. Do you seriously not question at least some of what she is telling you about him or their relationship?
los angeles said:
I can't get past why a guy would want to log into a car web site and post his sexual experiences for debate. His first post.
LA, he's another of these regular posters who's changed his login name for a bit of anonymous advice. Think I recognise the style....
>> Edited by AllTorque on Sunday 31st July 19:02
Cheers Ian 
Having had a day to ponder my actions (larging around the mountains in a hairy jeep) I figure that perhaps I was a little prone to emotional hyperbole and calmed down a bit. Perspective and all that. For me it's a new situation and I really do have a moral code, the thought of busting someones dreams offends me.
It was all kicked off by son finding out that mum/dad aren't going to be making a go of things. Which is sad but I suppose that with the right support and a happy mum, things will be fine. God knows though, as they say, you don't know what's around the corner. I wouldn't have paired myself up with someone in her situation, but life is full of surprises.
Another chat needed I reckon.
I'll keep it updated as it's a very entertaining soap opera this end and without a doubt will be interesting reading/future advice for y'all.
Note:-Yep, I have been single for a good 200 days or so.
>> Edited by oh-man! on Sunday 31st July 20:10
Having had a day to ponder my actions (larging around the mountains in a hairy jeep) I figure that perhaps I was a little prone to emotional hyperbole and calmed down a bit. Perspective and all that. For me it's a new situation and I really do have a moral code, the thought of busting someones dreams offends me.
It was all kicked off by son finding out that mum/dad aren't going to be making a go of things. Which is sad but I suppose that with the right support and a happy mum, things will be fine. God knows though, as they say, you don't know what's around the corner. I wouldn't have paired myself up with someone in her situation, but life is full of surprises.
Another chat needed I reckon.
I'll keep it updated as it's a very entertaining soap opera this end and without a doubt will be interesting reading/future advice for y'all.
Note:-Yep, I have been single for a good 200 days or so.
>> Edited by oh-man! on Sunday 31st July 20:10
oh-man! said:
larging around the mountains in a hairy jeep
Not heard it called that before... still, are we looking at the punch line MBH is so desperately seeking??? Who knows?
Only one thing to add - oh-man! - go for it, there is nothing to lose apart from loss itself, and maybe a bit of plot. Good luck to you fella, if this love is as serious as it sounds then give it everything you can - everything you can afford to lose (I mean that in the nicest way - all the best to you)
best
Ex
Jeez, sounds like an uphill struggle to me! Are you sure that your mind is doing the talking? It sounds rather like you have a bad case of "Chopper Pilot" 
Enjoy it while you can, don't set yourself up for a mental or physical spanking. Looking at what you've written, it sounds like there is a big hole in what she has been telling the chap. I'd have a word with myself if I was you. Sounds like she could be stringing both of you along.
Sorry to piss on your fireworks.
Enjoy it while you can, don't set yourself up for a mental or physical spanking. Looking at what you've written, it sounds like there is a big hole in what she has been telling the chap. I'd have a word with myself if I was you. Sounds like she could be stringing both of you along.
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