Offensive secret santa ideas.

[shed driver]

Need some ideas for an offensive Secret Santa present. The more offensive the better.

It's for my boss (!) I work in a funeral home and each year there is a Bad Taste Santa. Boss is female, mid forties. (And no, there's no pictures!)

I was thinking of getting her a set of merkins, but there don't appear to be any under a £10-15 limit.

Over to you guys.

SD.

[shirt]

For a SS gift, I once bought a female housemate a drinks bottle shaped like a penis, with straw that went through the japs eye. Always amusing to see her drinking from it!

Nb, I just googled and seems you can still buy ‘the colouring book’ on Amazon, as also SS gifted by me.

[McVities]

This suitable?
Although I realise that he may have put some business your way........

I am going to hell

[LosingGrip]

Any books on necrophilia?

[williamp]

There all a bit Meh. How about

https://www.amazon.co.uk/May-Have-Your-Attention-P...

Now discounted, so you could buy several. Include the receipt so she knows how much you spent on her...

[MitchT]

Wrap it in this...

https://www.lovelayladesigns.co.uk/gifts/gift-wrap...

[SlimJim16v]

Chocolate Willies?

[PH User]

A big box of Tena lady

[SlimJim16v]

Bumper sticker?

[fourstardan]

SlimJim16v said:

Bumper sticker?

I take it you've not been following this case https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-5920761...

[Aunty Pasty]

You can buy calendars with pictures of dogs or cats all taking a dump.

[largespiced]

[Benni]

OFF TOPIC :
I can´t recommend those FENTOs enough,
discovering them a few years earlier might have spared me from a knee operation.
Their trick is that they take the load away from the kneecap and spread it to mostly the shinbone.
Yes, they are expensive, but you only have two knees, and if they are FUBAR it gets nasty.
They do look funny but are actually quite wearable, even if you "go down" only "privately", put them on.

[soad]

CHLAMYDIA NHS JOKE PRANK: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/234096767019

DOGGING FUN Survival Kit (Secret Santa Gift) Hand Made:
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/264541214910

Bathtub Plug Poo - Floating Poo Gag:
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/352616411908

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Diabolical-Gifts-Hairy-Be...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Diabolical-Gifts-Hairy-Pu...

[BookA]

Dogfood and a spoon

[Jer_1974]

French baguette wrapped in clingfilm and a bottle lube.

[nick30]

A mop.

[vaguelyfamiliar]

Some quite rude stuff here

[cherryowen]

vaguelyfamiliar said:

Some quite rude stuff here

Dalai Lama said:

True happiness comes from snorting coke off a hooker's tits

[Voldemort]

Obviously, don't click the link https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hand-Bush-Fine-Vaginal-Fi...