Animal fighting
Discussion
Inspired by the man kills leapard thread.
So, chaps. A bit of theoretical, well, theorising. How big/fierce and animal could you take on and beat, unarmed, one on one?
Obviously there's cats, voles and small deer - things get more interesting when you get to things with a bit more power - realistically, I think mid sized dog, dobermann type would be fair game, as long as you don't let the beast get you by the throat. I think leopard's a bit ambitious, and that African fella was lucky. I also reckon that the bigger herbivores would give you plenty of trouble; wouldn't like to go up against an angry horse, for example... So how hard are you? Which of God's creatures could/would you open a tub of righteous homo sapiens whoopass on?
I've been thinking about this a bit. I quite fancy being locked in a pit where shady underworld types gamble of the lives of the combatants who fight in a no-rules cage warfare fight to the death. In one corner, me, relying only on my years of training and my thirst for revenge for the death of my brother; in the other, a kitten.
>> Edited by Harry Flashman on Wednesday 29th June 12:16
So, chaps. A bit of theoretical, well, theorising. How big/fierce and animal could you take on and beat, unarmed, one on one?
Obviously there's cats, voles and small deer - things get more interesting when you get to things with a bit more power - realistically, I think mid sized dog, dobermann type would be fair game, as long as you don't let the beast get you by the throat. I think leopard's a bit ambitious, and that African fella was lucky. I also reckon that the bigger herbivores would give you plenty of trouble; wouldn't like to go up against an angry horse, for example... So how hard are you? Which of God's creatures could/would you open a tub of righteous homo sapiens whoopass on?
I've been thinking about this a bit. I quite fancy being locked in a pit where shady underworld types gamble of the lives of the combatants who fight in a no-rules cage warfare fight to the death. In one corner, me, relying only on my years of training and my thirst for revenge for the death of my brother; in the other, a kitten.
>> Edited by Harry Flashman on Wednesday 29th June 12:16
I used to own a few staffordshire bull terriers, one of the largest and strongest bull-terrier breeds. Pretty easy to beat in a (play) fight once you learn their weak spots. I think any breed of dog is beatable, same should go for a wild wolf i guess, dog bites are superficial really.
I wouldn't want to get into a fight with any large monkey or bear though.
>> Edited by scorp on Wednesday 29th June 12:02
I wouldn't want to get into a fight with any large monkey or bear though.
>> Edited by scorp on Wednesday 29th June 12:02
Cat fighting is a normal evenings entertainment round at the .b household at the moment, but cat-on-cat. Or rather cat-on-kitten.
We have a full-grown cat, GT, who is a bit of a bruiser and not the most happy-go-lucky kind of cat there's ever been. Recently we bought a Bengal kitten, Kipling, who finds it highly amusing to try to wrestle GT, despite being about a quarter of his size. The stand offs are hillarious - a big grumpy cat sqautting on the floor while a tiny kitten was stood side-on, hissing and lashing out with his five-pence size paws.
Last night was a particularly fevered bout. Kipling tried several times to get GT into a head-lock, each time resulting in GT actually sitting on top of Kipling so only his tail could be seen and then biting his back legs until he managed to wriggle free. After catching his breath, Kipling would psyche himself up again and once more, plunge into GT, tail inflated, doing that side-ways crab thing. After about 5 attempts; different angles, using different items of furtinture as cover, different speeds; Kipling could not get the better of the bigger cat. It seemed Kipling was defeated.
However, it seemed that Kipling had one more weapon in his arsenal. He cowered behind the beanbag waiting to pounce and then without warning, shot off at rocket speed and WHHHHHACK! actually head-butted GT straight in the face. GT was completely taken by surprise and the kitten dived on his back and clung on biting GT's head until he was shaken off. GT didn't know what had hit him.
I think we're going to have trouble when Kipling gets bigger
We have a full-grown cat, GT, who is a bit of a bruiser and not the most happy-go-lucky kind of cat there's ever been. Recently we bought a Bengal kitten, Kipling, who finds it highly amusing to try to wrestle GT, despite being about a quarter of his size. The stand offs are hillarious - a big grumpy cat sqautting on the floor while a tiny kitten was stood side-on, hissing and lashing out with his five-pence size paws.
Last night was a particularly fevered bout. Kipling tried several times to get GT into a head-lock, each time resulting in GT actually sitting on top of Kipling so only his tail could be seen and then biting his back legs until he managed to wriggle free. After catching his breath, Kipling would psyche himself up again and once more, plunge into GT, tail inflated, doing that side-ways crab thing. After about 5 attempts; different angles, using different items of furtinture as cover, different speeds; Kipling could not get the better of the bigger cat. It seemed Kipling was defeated.
However, it seemed that Kipling had one more weapon in his arsenal. He cowered behind the beanbag waiting to pounce and then without warning, shot off at rocket speed and WHHHHHACK! actually head-butted GT straight in the face. GT was completely taken by surprise and the kitten dived on his back and clung on biting GT's head until he was shaken off. GT didn't know what had hit him.
I think we're going to have trouble when Kipling gets bigger
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I like your thinking - lateral.
I wouldn't mind going mano a mano with a sea lion; I've always thought that they were insufferably smug, and deserved taking down a peg or two. I'd distract the fat b*stard with a beach ball and, while he's trying to balance it on his nose, give him a good shoeing.
there was an advert in the back of the Times supplement this week for cats bred to look like tigers, which, and I'm not kidding here, were called Toygers. I'm not sure if they have any other of the inherent attributes of their genetic brethren, but it might be a good place to start our research.
you go first Flash, if it looks like your in trouble ill back you up...
you go first Flash, if it looks like your in trouble ill back you up...
Harry Flashman said:
I like your thinking - lateral.
I wouldn't mind going mano a mano with a sea lion; I've always thought that they were insufferably smug, and deserved taking down a peg or two. I'd distract the fat b*stard with a beach ball and, while he's trying to balance it on his nose, give him a good shoeing.
that is easily the best piece of writing ive ever had the pleasure of ingesting with me occular nerves. good work, flash old pal
nervous said:
there was an advert in the back of the Times supplement this week for cats bred to look like tigers, which, and I'm not kidding here, were called Toygers. I'm not sure if they have any other of the inherent attributes of their genetic brethren, but it might be a good place to start our research.
you go first Flash, if it looks like your in trouble ill back you up...
'Backing me up' does not mean 'running away screaming like a big girl', Nervy.
Harry Flashman said:
Sneaky sods, cats. DOn't fight fair, I find.
Yep. Sneaky being the word. My best mate used to have a cat called 'Speedie Tomato' who used to do this to me everytime I came near the house......
Only me for some reason. Nobody else. His mum used to say it was coz I smelled nice. She was nice
Harry Flashman said:
I like your thinking - lateral.
I wouldn't mind going mano a mano with a sea lion; I've always thought that they were insufferably smug, and deserved taking down a peg or two. I'd distract the fat b*stard with a beach ball and, while he's trying to balance it on his nose, give him a good shoeing.
I wouldn't mind getting a beaver in the ring
I've confused myself with that one
Nervous - time for your medication, chap.
I am going to consider this thorny issue over lunch. Which vicious critters pose the bigger threats to us?
Stoat with sword, or badger with cudgel? (Think Wind In The Willows - Badger was harder on that occasion, but I surmise that was only because he had Otter on side)
I am going to consider this thorny issue over lunch. Which vicious critters pose the bigger threats to us?
Stoat with sword, or badger with cudgel? (Think Wind In The Willows - Badger was harder on that occasion, but I surmise that was only because he had Otter on side)
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