Discussion
Help. The little b
ds are digging up my lawn and expensively planted borders here in London, and apparently I am not allowed to just break one of the shotguns out of the cabinet and start blazing away.
Should have lived in Texas. Anyway.
Fencing the garden is a bd job, as there are too many trees and hedges bordering the garden. Ultrasonic detectors bought, but I broke one in rage this morning when I realised it did not come with batteries. WHO SUPPLIES st WITHOUT BATTERIES THESE DAYS?? And anyway, I feel that weak noise is insufficient punishment for these mangy bellends. I want them to hurt. I want their foray into my garden to feel as if they were sneaking around in that spooky starship in Event Horizon. Scary, with an extra dose of horror, and the real possibility of being turned inside out.
My CCTV shows footage of the furry little fks nonchalantly digging away at night, unconcerned by the floodlights coming on. Reviewing the footage in the mornings is doing a special something to my blood pressure.
Just read a government website stating that poisoning, crossbows and explosives are illegal to use on these ginger menaces, which is obviously a shame, as a stepped defence using rusty nail-fuelled IEDs is beginning to have real appeal.
Spiky ground matting? Lion droppings? Chemicals (mustard gas springs to mind)? What has worked for you, dear PH? Find me a solution, as frankly, they are beginning to affect my sanity.
When I moved to this house, I thought that the cubs from the brood living in the derelict, overgrown garden were cute. This opinion has changed. Given the opportunity, I would now happily knife one in the face.
I am sitting in my kitchen, drinking alone, watching the lawn like a slightly pissed hawk. Help me, PH. Before I do something bad and go to jail, for which I am far too pretty, and not hard enough.
ds are digging up my lawn and expensively planted borders here in London, and apparently I am not allowed to just break one of the shotguns out of the cabinet and start blazing away. Should have lived in Texas. Anyway.
Fencing the garden is a b
d job, as there are too many trees and hedges bordering the garden. Ultrasonic detectors bought, but I broke one in rage this morning when I realised it did not come with batteries. WHO SUPPLIES st WITHOUT BATTERIES THESE DAYS?? And anyway, I feel that weak noise is insufficient punishment for these mangy bellends. I want them to hurt. I want their foray into my garden to feel as if they were sneaking around in that spooky starship in Event Horizon. Scary, with an extra dose of horror, and the real possibility of being turned inside out. My CCTV shows footage of the furry little f
ks nonchalantly digging away at night, unconcerned by the floodlights coming on. Reviewing the footage in the mornings is doing a special something to my blood pressure.Just read a government website stating that poisoning, crossbows and explosives are illegal to use on these ginger menaces, which is obviously a shame, as a stepped defence using rusty nail-fuelled IEDs is beginning to have real appeal.
Spiky ground matting? Lion droppings? Chemicals (mustard gas springs to mind)? What has worked for you, dear PH? Find me a solution, as frankly, they are beginning to affect my sanity.
When I moved to this house, I thought that the cubs from the brood living in the derelict, overgrown garden were cute. This opinion has changed. Given the opportunity, I would now happily knife one in the face.
I am sitting in my kitchen, drinking alone, watching the lawn like a slightly pissed hawk. Help me, PH. Before I do something bad and go to jail, for which I am far too pretty, and not hard enough.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Thursday 13th June 21:11
fk it. I'm attaching some sort of flamethrower to the Robomow.
Stupid, hole-digging, refuse-easting, flea-ridden aholes.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/reshington/408058671...
k it. I'm attaching some sort of flamethrower to the Robomow. Stupid, hole-digging, refuse-easting, flea-ridden a
holes.https://www.flickr.com/photos/reshington/408058671...
Wait till you come home and find 20+ headless chicken corpses on your lawn, then you have a reason to hate foxes.
If you don't want to get a dog, borrow a neighbours (male) dog for a few days and let him wee all around the garden. This should deter the foxes. If they are so used to coming in to your garden you may need to keep the dog for a few days so they actually get to see it in the garden as well as smell him.
A friend of mine used to shoot them. If no-one finds the corpses where is the evidence? Just be aware that some people think they are cute and should be protected at all costs. We have had well over 50 chickens taken by foxes so feel no love for them whatsoever.
If you don't want to get a dog, borrow a neighbours (male) dog for a few days and let him wee all around the garden. This should deter the foxes. If they are so used to coming in to your garden you may need to keep the dog for a few days so they actually get to see it in the garden as well as smell him.
A friend of mine used to shoot them. If no-one finds the corpses where is the evidence? Just be aware that some people think they are cute and should be protected at all costs. We have had well over 50 chickens taken by foxes so feel no love for them whatsoever.
Top quality rant.
Fortunately I live in the countryside, so don't see them very often...
https://www.thatsfarming.com/news/keep-foxes-away
Fortunately I live in the countryside, so don't see them very often...
https://www.thatsfarming.com/news/keep-foxes-away
We have a visiting fox, I rather like him. He has a route through our garden and always sticks to it. Been coming through for the last 2 years or more. Back in February he looked very smart in his winter coat, looking a bit mangey yesterday but I guess he's moulting. I don't feed him so I hope he keeps the mouse population down. 
OK, I've had a moment to cool down after filling in various lawn holes and repairing stuff. Lady F and Mini F are away, so noise is less of an issue than normal.
I have assembled sustenance and weapons for a long wait. If I can pepper the little st with BBs, stunning him, I can then hopefully get to him whilst he's in a somnolent state and carve him up like a Sunday fking chicken.
Like all the best plans, this one wins for simplicity.
20190613_212439 by baconrashers, on Flickr
I have assembled sustenance and weapons for a long wait. If I can pepper the little s
t with BBs, stunning him, I can then hopefully get to him whilst he's in a somnolent state and carve him up like a Sunday fking chicken.Like all the best plans, this one wins for simplicity.
20190613_212439 by baconrashers, on FlickrEdited by Harry Flashman on Thursday 13th June 21:41
RichB said:
We have a visiting fox, I rather like him.
That, right there, is your problem, friend. He'll pretend to be your mate. He may even buy you a round or two, and be good company on a day playing golf.
You heard it here first. He's banging your lady, eating your chips, drinking your whisky, and he needs to die.
tweenster said:
If you don't want to get a dog, borrow a neighbours (male) dog for a few days and let him wee all around the garden. This should deter the foxes.
Might work in the country, doesn't work with urban foxes. We have a male dog, and get foxes in the garden every night. He's let out to chase them and they still come back. I don't mind them too much, but they don't do any damage; the only inconvenience is we can't leave the dog in the living room at night as he yells at them and wakes us up.He's at my parents house a couple of times a week, and they have far more fox visits now their garden smells of him. He marks around the garden, and this attracts the foxes to re-mark their territory.
Harry Flashman said:
RichB said:
We have a visiting fox, I rather like him.
That, right there, is your problem, friend. He'll pretend to be your mate. He may even buy you a round or two, and be good company on a day playing golf.
You heard it here first. He's banging your lady, eating your chips, drinking your whisky, and he needs to die.
as long as he eats them bloody mice that get in my garage...Go down the cat rescue place, ask for their meanest Tom cat. You want a big git with a bit of his ear missing and a couple of scars already.
Shooting them with an air rifle is pathetic, and you're scum of the earth if you think maiming a wild animal is okay. You won't catch it once it scarpers.
Shooting them with an air rifle is pathetic, and you're scum of the earth if you think maiming a wild animal is okay. You won't catch it once it scarpers.
Are there many?
Could you report an injured one to the RSPCA
(a thin one that’s bloodied back leg you’ve seem hiding in your garden last couple of days might’ve been run down or something) & get them to trap it - big live catch trap (then not sure they are legally actually allowed to release them ??)
Might put the others off visiting if their pal got caught & even if not it’d be one less.
You could buy your own live catch trap for £100 or so, but prob don’t want to deal with the contents
Could you report an injured one to the RSPCA
(a thin one that’s bloodied back leg you’ve seem hiding in your garden last couple of days might’ve been run down or something) & get them to trap it - big live catch trap (then not sure they are legally actually allowed to release them ??)
Might put the others off visiting if their pal got caught & even if not it’d be one less.
You could buy your own live catch trap for £100 or so, but prob don’t want to deal with the contents
Edited by AndyAudi on Thursday 13th June 22:06
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