Reunions. Being a miserable git....

[Wildcat45]

My wife reckons I am being a miserable bd on this, what do you lot reckon?

I have been invited to a work reunion, and I really can't be arsed.

It is a company that no longer exists. One that had four owners through mergers in the 14 years it existed.

I was a big part of the company for a time. I had quite a high profile but then again so were many others,

Every time the company changed hands its character changed. Those organising the reunion are mainly from the older incarnations which were OK, but nothing on what being under the ownership of a big PLC achieved later.

I reckon I have about five friends today who were at the company. We are friends because we met at work but have interests in common and just get on.

I've no interest in meeting some woman from sales who left in 2001 or an old managing director who is a nice bloke but wasn't really cut out for the role.

My wife and I got talking about this. She thinks I'm being insular and that I should be happy that people remember me and want me there.

To put this in context, at Christmas I had a fantastic evening out with two former colleagues, one of whom I worked with at this firm. The three of us ended up working together at another company, I was chatting last night on line to another pal from the company - we go out for drinks and meals together with our wives regularly.

We both now work in very different industries.

I'm not against meeting up with old friends, but the idea of an evening at some venue I don't like with people I don't give a st about just doesn't appeal.

I've checked with a couple of mates, and it appears not all of us are getting invited. Again this annoys me. Clearly it's only those who the "mother hen" PAs liked getting invited.

Am I just being an insular miserable bd?

Feel free to respond in piss taking or serous ways.

Edited by Wildcat45 on Monday 2nd July 10:45

[silverthorn2151]

Look forward not back. You are mates with the ones you are mates with already.

These things are just to satisfy curiosity and gossip. I've been to many over the years and that's the conclusion I have come to.

[daddy cool]

Based on what you describe, I wouldn't go either.

I rarely go out with anyone at my current place of work, so unlikely I would with companies I worked at years ago. Once hometime comes around and im not being paid anymore, im outta there!

[welshjon81]

Wildcat45 said:

an evening at some venue I don't like with people I don't give a st about

If this is how you feel, then seriously don't bother. Life is too short. Spend the evening doing something you enjoy instead.

[Mothersruin]

No thanks - I'd bin it.

As you said, you're still in contact with the people you genuinely liked - what's the point in making small talk with people that you either disliked, or simply forgot about. No one benefits.

[Zetec-S]

silverthorn2151 said:

Look forward not back. You are mates with the ones you are mates with already.

These things are just to satisfy curiosity and gossip. I've been to many over the years and that's the conclusion I have come to.

Exactly this. If you're mates with someone you'll stay in touch, if you lose contact there's probably a reason.

Same with school reunions - no way I'd ever go. Haven't seen people for 20 years now, I've no interest in what they're up to. And as above, most of the time people go just because they want to be nosey or brag about how successful they are.

Of course, it doesn't help that I'm a miserable git myself...

[untakenname]

Since Facebook came out the need for reunions has diminished, the reason half the people go to reunions is to see how others have fared in that time.
Last reunion I went to was from school, a girl that was fit at the time had turned into a munters whereas another that didn't even register at school had turned into a stunner.

[Gary29]

Fellow miserable git checking in.

I also don't like this kind of thing. I find every excuse not to go to things like this with people I currently work with, never mind ones from years ago.

I spend more time with my colleagues than my family and 'real' friends, so why I'd actively seek out the opportunity to spend more time with the former rather than the latter, I really don't get it, apart from team bonding, but we're a good bunch and get along great anyway.

I wouldn't be going.

[mr_spock]

Life is too short to do things you don't enjoy, won't benefit from, or won't benefit people or causes you care about.

[fido]

Boring conversations about careers and who has the better car or house portfolio. So basically like some of the forums on PH. I wouldn't bother going - or get hilariously pissed so that no one adds you to their contacts.

[P-Jay]

I'm with OP.

I've been asked a few times, I worked at the same place for 10 years, had a good group of workmates whilst I was there and we all left about the same time after the 2008 crash. I don't speak to any of them regularly, a few are Facebook 'friends' the rest are just fond memories. It's nice to hear from them from time to time, but what really to you have in common? A job you did why-back-when.

Leave it in the past I say.

[SCEtoAUX]

Don't go unless you want to be in the company of a bunch of people who want to tell you how well they've done in life. My idea of hell to be honest.

[Kenny Powers]

If not going makes you happy, and doesn’t make anyone you care about unhappy, then don’t go. There’s no need to overthink it.

[Taglioni]

You should go, reading your post lifted my spirits, and I’m sure you add sparkle to any assembly
Have fun

[FiF]

Fellow miserable git. No chance I'd be going.

People also think because by chance you happen to have worked with them and were civil towards them there is some sort of bond or debt owed. One prat who I didn't particularly like but tolerated him, no contact for years, then chatty email arrives. Wanted sponsorship for dry January. Yeah, bike it sonny.

[mangos]

Nothing wrong with not wanting to go.

Youre not a miserable git.

I prefer the term ‘aloof’ when describing me in social situations around people I’m not familiar or comfortable with.

It’s good to be a bit aloof.

Enjoy the friends you like and have things in common with

[SHutchinson]

Go, then leave. It might end up being decent. If it's rubbish, you haven't lost much. That way folk still think you're a nice guy for showing up.

[devnull]

To be honest, I wouldn't exactly be falling over myself to go to a work reunion. I tolerate the people I work and have worked with, but they ain't my friends.

There's about 4 people I've known in my working career thus far that I care enough about to pick the phone and call or email. The rest I bear no sts about, let alone spend my personal time making small talk with them.

[Jasandjules]

If you don't want to go then don't go. Life is too short

[Strudul]

So, what now?

Wildcat45: "People on the internet said I don't have to go."
Mrs Wildcat45: "You're going."
Wildcat45: "Okay."