The Microsoft Car
Discussion
This has just been emailed to me, and I felt it my duty to share it with you all, apologies if its already been posted
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection
for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At
a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars
that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a
press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I
just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a
day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you
would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road,
close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it,
and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some
reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in
which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
was reliable, five times! as fast and twice as easy to
drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning
lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has
Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and
grabbed hold of the radio antenna
9. Every time a new car was introduced car users would have
to learn how to drive all over again because none of the
controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the
engine off.
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection
for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At
a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars
that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a
press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I
just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a
day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you
would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road,
close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it,
and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some
reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in
which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
was reliable, five times! as fast and twice as easy to
drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning
lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has
Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and
grabbed hold of the radio antenna
9. Every time a new car was introduced car users would have
to learn how to drive all over again because none of the
controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the
engine off.
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