Congestion Suggestion

[Numptie]

There's a new city by-pass road being planned for Aberdeen and it's causing all sorts of debate and consternation.

Last night, I was having a few scoops with some like minded chaps. We started discussing some measures which could be easily taken and would prevent the need for the new road.

It started off fairly sensibly but then degenerated a bit. The only resolutions I can remember us all agreeing on are as follows.

• Buses to be banned. If people can't afford to buy cars then fk 'em.

• Existing bus lanes to be maintained but reserved for the use of blind drivers.

• Guide dogs must wear a seat belt.

• Walking anywhere to be made illegal and all zebra / pelican crossings to be removed.

• All roundabouts to be removed from urban roads and relocated in rural areas.

• Government grants to be available for the opening of corner shops on former roundabout sites (four per location).

• All supermarkets, DIY super-stores and garden centres to be decommissioned as a matter of priority.

I had a sore head this morning.

Cheers,

N

[mybrainhurts]

Numptie said:

prevent the need for the new road.

You're either David Begg or Alistair Darling, darling.

Go away.......