All the new dads
Discussion
Obvious answer is that it's a bit late for that...
However, good luck, you will no longer have any free time, your house will become a creche, your sleep patterns will vary by the day, your bank balance will gradually diminsh, but it really is all worth while.
Dave (with a 19 month old who says "daddy car broke" a lot)
However, good luck, you will no longer have any free time, your house will become a creche, your sleep patterns will vary by the day, your bank balance will gradually diminsh, but it really is all worth while.
Dave (with a 19 month old who says "daddy car broke" a lot)
OK, so I ain't a new dad, since my son will be 7 next week, but I would recommend a book called "The Sixty Minute Father" by Rob Parsons. Sounds like it should be written by a californian, but is a down to earth book on the joys and trials of fatherhood that will take you an hour to read, but will hopefully help you understand it all a little.
"Remember, no one on their death bed ever said 'I wish I had spent more time in the office'"
Chris
"Remember, no one on their death bed ever said 'I wish I had spent more time in the office'"
Chris
Ours is due on Spt 22nd, although it nearly came last week!
I must say I'm gettting really excited about the whole thing, the baby seems pretty up for it as well with the amount of movement I can see in my wifes tummy.
And the things we've had to buy, fortunately for me I got to pick the buggy
What do you think of..
www.baby-boom.co.uk/acatalog/Freestyle3Big.jpg
It even has a bell!
D :-)
I must say I'm gettting really excited about the whole thing, the baby seems pretty up for it as well with the amount of movement I can see in my wifes tummy.
And the things we've had to buy, fortunately for me I got to pick the buggy
What do you think of..
www.baby-boom.co.uk/acatalog/Freestyle3Big.jpg
It even has a bell!
D :-)
quote:
What do you think of..
www.baby-boom.co.uk/acatalog/Freestyle3Big.jpg
It even has a bell!
It looks like the pram equivalent of a RAV4 and about as likely to go "off road" as one. I'm sure Bonce will look lovely purched in there
Oh yes, I'm not a Dad and hopefully not about to be, Nothing personal I'm just too selfish to share my toy cupboard.
Perhaps someone could please explain to me what the great joy is of having a child is? It just seems like the most ludicrous and nightmarish way to ruin your day/month/year/life.
Consider:
- a ludicrously hormonal woman for 9 months
- the disappearance of your bank balance
- loss of sleep
- goodbye social life
- goodbye flexibility
- your house stinks
- 20 years of worry
- all for no thanks at all
Not to mention:
- TV/Advertising that manipulates children, filling their brain with consumerist desires beyond their years which your hard-earned is obliged to fund..
- Bad schools.. filling your child's brain with lefty shit.
- Nanny state say you can't smack/punish/chastise your child..
- Incredicble peer pressure to have hundred of pounds of fashion items, gadgets, mobiles & god knows what else..
- Peer pressure to join a gang and go stealing other people's fashion items, gadgets, mobiles etc..
- Internet - apparently compulsory activity for kids..
And what is it about becoming a parent that turns an otherwise rational person into an amorphous dribbling prat?
Why are most new parents convinced that their child is some kind of little miracle? Do you need me to explain that it's been done before? I can show evidence...
I know I'm gonna come over as a twat to many PH fathers, but that's not new and I really don't give a crap.
I'm not attacking your right to bear children (not in this thread anyway...), but no-one has ever managed to convince me that child rearing is anything other than a nightmare of epic proportions.
You're all completely barking
Apart from Mel who, in lieu of child, has a dog to bark on his behalf
Consider:
- a ludicrously hormonal woman for 9 months
- the disappearance of your bank balance
- loss of sleep
- goodbye social life
- goodbye flexibility
- your house stinks
- 20 years of worry
- all for no thanks at all
Not to mention:
- TV/Advertising that manipulates children, filling their brain with consumerist desires beyond their years which your hard-earned is obliged to fund..
- Bad schools.. filling your child's brain with lefty shit.
- Nanny state say you can't smack/punish/chastise your child..
- Incredicble peer pressure to have hundred of pounds of fashion items, gadgets, mobiles & god knows what else..
- Peer pressure to join a gang and go stealing other people's fashion items, gadgets, mobiles etc..
- Internet - apparently compulsory activity for kids..
And what is it about becoming a parent that turns an otherwise rational person into an amorphous dribbling prat?
Why are most new parents convinced that their child is some kind of little miracle? Do you need me to explain that it's been done before? I can show evidence...
I know I'm gonna come over as a twat to many PH fathers, but that's not new and I really don't give a crap.
I'm not attacking your right to bear children (not in this thread anyway...), but no-one has ever managed to convince me that child rearing is anything other than a nightmare of epic proportions.
You're all completely barking
Apart from Mel who, in lieu of child, has a dog to bark on his behalf
quote:
Consider:
- a ludicrously hormonal woman for 9 months
- the disappearance of your bank balance
- loss of sleep
- goodbye social life
- goodbye flexibility
- your house stinks
- 20 years of worry
- all for no thanks at all
Mmm, thats a fair assessment of parenthood. Mines 16 months now and far too active for his own good. But to counter the negativity, there are some good bits :
- First time they say "mamma" or "dadda"
- The look on their face when you get in from work
- The pride that your parents have in you / sibling
- Cool toys (Bob the Builder being a favourite)
- Ability to complain at people when they arent child friendly
- other stuff, but cant remember... lack of sleep.
They are worth it and dont cost too much if you are fairly careful. But the sleep thing is a major problem..... get as much as you can NOW before it is too late. Oh, and if you can get shares in RedBull or similar, do it now as you will need them later.
Cheers,
Paul
*Waits for the usual 'Ah, but when it happens to you...' misty eyed reply every parent I ever ask the same question to answers with*
Well put CarZee, never been able to see the point myself - I've seen too many of my friends become penniless taxi drivers to want to go down that route....
Well put CarZee, never been able to see the point myself - I've seen too many of my friends become penniless taxi drivers to want to go down that route.... quote:
It looks like the pram equivalent of a RAV4 and about as likely to go "off road" as one. I'm sure Bonce will look lovely purched in there
Oh yes, I'm not a Dad and hopefully not about to be, Nothing personal I'm just too selfish to share my toy cupboard.
Cheeky twat, I admit there is a certain 'fashion victim' aspect to it but my justification is simple. We live in the country, we have two dogs which need walking, I'd like to be able to take baby in buggy with dogs and walk everything at the same time. Crappy little 4 wheel buggies are shit when they go off road, a friend took the end off his sons finger when the buggy collapsed whilst being pushed across a field.
Oh yes and it has a special suto steering front wheel (like the trolleys in tesco I suppose) which applealed to the nerd in me.
And no Bonce won't go in it, he already has a buggy, oh no thats his Elise :-)
D.
PS Did I mention it has a bell?
Frankly it's superb, my daughter is now 9 months. I put off the inevitable for 8 years of marraige as I didn't get the point of kids then, all of a sudden, I did and it seemed like a great idea and it most definitely is brilliant.
If you don't understand the attraction then please don't do it until you do understand. If you never get it then don't feel obliged or be forced to have kids as no one wins.
IYSWIM, IMHO, HTH.
Mark
PS. If you don't make the effort to accomodate mates who suddenly have kids then you'll lose them, after all it's you with the spare time, not them any more. They haven't done it to spite you.
>> Edited by mhibbins on Tuesday 20th August 10:20
If you don't understand the attraction then please don't do it until you do understand. If you never get it then don't feel obliged or be forced to have kids as no one wins.
IYSWIM, IMHO, HTH.
Mark
PS. If you don't make the effort to accomodate mates who suddenly have kids then you'll lose them, after all it's you with the spare time, not them any more. They haven't done it to spite you.
>> Edited by mhibbins on Tuesday 20th August 10:20
quote:
Consider:
- a ludicrously hormonal woman for 9 months
- the disappearance of your bank balance
- loss of sleep
- goodbye social life
- goodbye flexibility
- your house stinks
- 20 years of worry
- all for no thanks at all
Oh bugger I knew there was a downside :-)
To answer each point..
- a ludicrously hormonal woman for 9 months
No she has been fine, a little more tired but now she has finished work shes back to normal (and I could point to many women who are utterly mental without being pregnant).
- the disappearance of your bank balance
Yes very fair point, however the amount of stuff we have been given by our families and friends is amazing. It is possible to do it on a tight budget, plenty of folks manage it.
- loss of sleep
I run an Internet development business I never get any sleep anyway.
- goodbye social life
Hmm, to a degree. There is a point at the end...
- goodbye flexibility
Again to a degree.
- your house stinks
Err why? We have two dogs one of which is the smelliest animal in the whole world and yet our house still smells nice. I doubt the baby will make the place smell.
- 20 years of worry
Yes very good point, this will be somethnig else to worry about..
- all for no thanks at all
We'll clarify that in a few years, but I suspect you will be right.
Ok here is my point. We (Mrs D and me) never thought we'd want children, thats not to say we did not want them we just never thought we'd do it, inconvenient, lack of social life etc, etc. Much of this was based on the fact that some of our friends who have kids do have no lives beyond them, everything is geared to the child.
Anyway then a few other friends had children and were completely differnet, they still go out and have social lives sometimes they include the children (thus making the child pub, party, TVR etc friendly) and generally (well I think so ) have a much more adult attitude to the whole thing. It was this realisation that you can have kids and a life that swung it for us (that and the fact that we are now getting on a bit).
Yes we'll miss being able to do exactly what we want but thats fine, we'll be a bit more skint so what? The fact that we won't go out quite as much will help.
Maybe I should pretend it is a car and post running costs :-)
D.
I know you're being good spirited about this & I'm probably gonna end up irritating you before I've fniished, but let's see how far I can take it before you tell me to piss off
I have no such need - my parents and family are proud of me as things are.
If I thought I needed to spawn to gain the respect or pride of my family, I doubt I'd want to know them anyway.
I know we've had this discussion before. The bottom line is that many parents are, I suppose, considerate towards others, but some are just plain obnoxious. I was recently sat in a pub having some lunch when some pondlife a couple of tables along put her child on the table and changed it's nappy. Fcuking made my lunch did that.
As for the recurring theme of sleep deprivation which is clearly close to your heart... errmm.. No. It was fine in my early twenties when life was one long party, but I'd hate and resent sleepless nights & it would drive me utterly crazy.
I'm selfish, I know it, but there we are.
quote:Were you surprised how pleased you were with this? I think I'd be unsatisfied until offspring asked me to reach down the Dostoevsky from the bookshelf. Cute does nothing for me...
- First time they say "mamma" or "dadda"
quote:nope. Cute again you see. Save it for the Mrs.
- The look on their face when you get in from work
quote:Now I'm not looking at you when I say this Paul, but it's well documented that some people have children with this end in mind.
- The pride that your parents have in you / sibling
I have no such need - my parents and family are proud of me as things are.
If I thought I needed to spawn to gain the respect or pride of my family, I doubt I'd want to know them anyway.
quote:talk to me about scalextric and we're getting somewhere
- Cool toys (Bob the Builder being a favourite)
quote:I'm not child friendly. I don't want them screaming in the pub when I'm having a quiet pint or some lunch. I don't want them under my feet in the supermarket. I'd never ever go on holiday during school holidays. It seems to be the perogative of parents to inflict their children on others without the merest thought or care that some people might not like it. I don't want to share in the experience of screaming and shitting that children appear to provide in unfeasible quantities. THe sound of a crying baby is like fingernails down a blackboard to me.
- Ability to complain at people when they arent child friendly
I know we've had this discussion before. The bottom line is that many parents are, I suppose, considerate towards others, but some are just plain obnoxious. I was recently sat in a pub having some lunch when some pondlife a couple of tables along put her child on the table and changed it's nappy. Fcuking made my lunch did that.
As for the recurring theme of sleep deprivation which is clearly close to your heart... errmm.. No. It was fine in my early twenties when life was one long party, but I'd hate and resent sleepless nights & it would drive me utterly crazy.
I'm selfish, I know it, but there we are.
quote:Fair play indeed. I live in utter dread of the day I decide it's a good idea.. I'm having the cyanide capsule implanted in my tooth next wednesday
If you don't understand the attraction then please don't do it until you do understand. If you never get it then don't feel obliged or be forced to have kids as no one wins.
PS. If you don't make the effort to accomodate mates who suddenly have kids then you'll lose them, after all it's you with the spare time, not them any more. They haven't done it to spite you.
Mines due on October 2nd or thereabouts. Bad timing 'cos that weekend is the last round of the Group One Touring Car Championship...
Anyway we can hardly wait. Its really exciting and who cares if we're going to be broke and knackered? Driving fast cars around all the time gets boring anyway, this will be a new challenge!
By the way we went for the Mamas and Papa's Pliko Argenta in 'Jeans' with the optional rain cover.
Anyway we can hardly wait. Its really exciting and who cares if we're going to be broke and knackered? Driving fast cars around all the time gets boring anyway, this will be a new challenge!
By the way we went for the Mamas and Papa's Pliko Argenta in 'Jeans' with the optional rain cover.
quote:
[snip]
I'm not child friendly. I don't want them screaming in the pub when I'm having a quiet pint or some lunch. I don't want them under my feet in the supermarket. I'd never ever go on holiday during school holidays. It seems to be the perogative of parents to inflict their children on others without the merest thought or care that some people might not like it. I don't want to share in the experience of screaming and shitting that children appear to provide in unfeasible quantities. THe sound of a crying baby is like fingernails down a blackboard to me.
[snip]
Maybe I should qualify that a little more. I would certainly not fall into the category of inflicting my family on anyone / everyone. However, there are occassions sometimes that people / places / areas that really should know better. Pubs granted are not the ideal place for children - even supposed "friendly" ones, but when you told that you cant use the changing room in a certain childrens clothing shop cos you are not a woman - well, red rag / bull - here we go..... got my way in the end...
So, there are times that you can have a cracking good argument when you know that someone / something is in the wrong.... however, do totally agree about the inflicting thing.
Oh, and one thing that no one has mentioned is the whole woman / weight thing.... Not matter who you are, the pregnant woman will put on weight. Then post-birth some of it will stay (depends on the person / type of body etc for the amount). Then you get a whole new world of "I'm so fat" or "I've put on so much weight" etc etc etc... you get the picture....
And then comes the new wardrobe to make up.....
Horses and courses - suits some people, doesnt others. Either way the best thing that you can do is commit yourself (not to the local loonie establishment) but to the task at hand - if you have kids, give it 100%, if you dont then give your life 100% - failure to do either will mean that you just dont get out of it what you really want.....
Cheers,
Paul
P.S. Oh, and be REALLY sympathetic to the partner - failure to do so can be very costly.....
P.S.S Carzee - a crying baby is supposed to sound like fingernails down a chalk board. We are genetically engineered that way. However, its event worse if it is your own (again its in the genetics) you cant ignore it and it will wake you from the deepest sleep!!!! Oh, joy....
DavidD - Maybe when I've had my fill of fast cars then.. plenty of mileage in that before I run out of ideas ... I've not had a Porker or a TVR yet, though I did tell Mrs CarZee that she can have kids when she comes up with a Tuscan R. Just have to keep hiding her lottery tickets
spnracing: Oh to be bored of driving fast cars all the time... my heart bleeds
spnracing: Oh to be bored of driving fast cars all the time... my heart bleeds
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