Silly Friday banter
Discussion
Optimist: The world can be a better place if we all help each other.
Pessimist: The world can't get much worse, even if we all help each other.
Realist: The world will carry on regardless, some good and some bad.
Surrealist: The carrot on the trapeze stole my mints!
Kangoo owner: Wahey, I love my car!
Pessimist: The world can't get much worse, even if we all help each other.
Realist: The world will carry on regardless, some good and some bad.
Surrealist: The carrot on the trapeze stole my mints!
Kangoo owner: Wahey, I love my car!
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you
get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk
rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The
annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
you
with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce
the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three
cows.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows, News limited buys them for an inflated price.
they eat clover for months and produce nothing. Rupert gets pissed off
at another one of his children.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then
create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them
World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100
years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break
for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge
others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim
full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman
who reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk
factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send
their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
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