Advice on encouraging daughter to ride
Discussion
Really struggling to get my daughter to ride the bike. She is nine and very tall, swims 30 lengths no probs and can run a reasonable distance, so isn't a fat unfit blob.
She has a 14" one-one Inbred I built up for her when she asked for a bike to come riding with us. No suss to keep the weight down.
I've never taking the mick out of her and at first didn't get cross when she had to walk or whined even if it was only gently uphill.
She is a bit of a wimp and seems to be averse to a) risk of falling off and b) the remotest sense of muscle pain. We have tried being positive and praising her when she does make it out with us, but the whining is driving me nuts - to the point of losing my temper which is clearly not going to help. Our 5 year old boy is bike mental so he's no bother.
Any idea how to get her to come on board as it were? I am aware I can't force her to enjoy it but she will barely even try. Other than this she is a pretty good kid - no other issues. I am at a loss at what to try next.
She has a 14" one-one Inbred I built up for her when she asked for a bike to come riding with us. No suss to keep the weight down.
I've never taking the mick out of her and at first didn't get cross when she had to walk or whined even if it was only gently uphill.
She is a bit of a wimp and seems to be averse to a) risk of falling off and b) the remotest sense of muscle pain. We have tried being positive and praising her when she does make it out with us, but the whining is driving me nuts - to the point of losing my temper which is clearly not going to help. Our 5 year old boy is bike mental so he's no bother.
Any idea how to get her to come on board as it were? I am aware I can't force her to enjoy it but she will barely even try. Other than this she is a pretty good kid - no other issues. I am at a loss at what to try next.
Difficult isnt it, I guess you can only subtly try and leave it at that, some kids just aren't into stuff you want them to get into.
My Stepson is nearly 16, he is naturally slim , nimble and fit, but just doest fancy any exercise. When I was his age I lived on my bike and genetics were not in my favour...
I took him out on a very very gently ride at 13, we got to the slightest incline and he jumped off and pushed! I'm like "what you doing" he said"my legs are hurting a bit and dont fancy the discomfort"!
My Stepson is nearly 16, he is naturally slim , nimble and fit, but just doest fancy any exercise. When I was his age I lived on my bike and genetics were not in my favour...
I took him out on a very very gently ride at 13, we got to the slightest incline and he jumped off and pushed! I'm like "what you doing" he said"my legs are hurting a bit and dont fancy the discomfort"!
I have never been someone to negotiate with my kids - they just do what they're told. That doesn't mean I tell them to do horrible things but I just don't accept moans when I know they're just being lazy.
Today they would have happily spent the day on the computer (9yo son addicted to Minecraft) and in front of the TV (6yo daughter) but I gave the orders that we were going for a ride. Cue, moans and excuses but they got ready and we went for a slow 10 mile loop, with ice cream half way round, lots of stops for fruit, drinks and fruit-sweets, and to walk up the longer, steeper hills.
I am, and they are immensely proud of their achievements - and rightly so. I take lots of pics of them and make sure the in-laws know what they're up to (it's primarily what I use Facebook for). The kids love telling their grandparents where they've been riding. We get about a fair bit to do the cycle paths both locally and distant [#1]. I tie these visits into us having ice creams, bringing along friends and their children (we have had 20+ groups this year), and generally just making a "thing" of visiting somewhere new. They appreciate it.
Tonight, as a reward for today's ride, they're having friends for a sleep-over. I've tied that into the ride today, so they know it's worthwhile going out for a ride with their Dad - not just for the ride-itself which they enjoy when they're out but don't see as such a positive experience as I do.
IMO the best encouragement for cycling is other kids. Get their friends or cousins to go cycling with you - and just "push" them when they are being lazy or precious. And make a point of rewarding them - whatever works.
Note #1: This year we have done the Greenways at Stratford-upon-Avon and Kenilworth, the Mawddach Trail (Barmouth), the Tarka Trail (Barnstaple), the Monsal Trail (Peak District), and the Llanelli Millenium Park.
Today they would have happily spent the day on the computer (9yo son addicted to Minecraft) and in front of the TV (6yo daughter) but I gave the orders that we were going for a ride. Cue, moans and excuses but they got ready and we went for a slow 10 mile loop, with ice cream half way round, lots of stops for fruit, drinks and fruit-sweets, and to walk up the longer, steeper hills.
I am, and they are immensely proud of their achievements - and rightly so. I take lots of pics of them and make sure the in-laws know what they're up to (it's primarily what I use Facebook for). The kids love telling their grandparents where they've been riding. We get about a fair bit to do the cycle paths both locally and distant [#1]. I tie these visits into us having ice creams, bringing along friends and their children (we have had 20+ groups this year), and generally just making a "thing" of visiting somewhere new. They appreciate it.
Tonight, as a reward for today's ride, they're having friends for a sleep-over. I've tied that into the ride today, so they know it's worthwhile going out for a ride with their Dad - not just for the ride-itself which they enjoy when they're out but don't see as such a positive experience as I do.
IMO the best encouragement for cycling is other kids. Get their friends or cousins to go cycling with you - and just "push" them when they are being lazy or precious. And make a point of rewarding them - whatever works.
Note #1: This year we have done the Greenways at Stratford-upon-Avon and Kenilworth, the Mawddach Trail (Barmouth), the Tarka Trail (Barnstaple), the Monsal Trail (Peak District), and the Llanelli Millenium Park.
Hobzy said:
Any idea how to get her to come on board as it were? I am aware I can't force her to enjoy it but she will barely even try. Other than this she is a pretty good kid - no other issues. I am at a loss at what to try next.
Things that might work: get her riding an easy gear with high cadence. Less tiring. Ride alongside her, chatting a lot, and getting her to chat back. Will keep discomfort from the forefront of her mind. As a hill approaches, encourage her to up her speed before she gets to it, then to use her gears as her speed and cadence falters. Stay alongside her at all times, chatting, begin encouraging etc - never ride ahead of her as she's much more likely to back off. If that doesn't work, dunno.
Cheers all. I think other kids may be the answer! - I wonder if she is thinking she'll never be able to do the rides I do - not that I've made her try - and that's putting her off, rather than just enjoying the ride.
Major issue round here (South downs) is there is little flat. She was OK on holiday in the Forest of Dean at the trail centres family trail, and rode all evening around the camp site with other kids. Think you might have nailed it. We'll try Moors Valley and try to get some of her mates to tag along...
Major issue round here (South downs) is there is little flat. She was OK on holiday in the Forest of Dean at the trail centres family trail, and rode all evening around the camp site with other kids. Think you might have nailed it. We'll try Moors Valley and try to get some of her mates to tag along...
My daughter is only five and does enjoy cycling.
We usually cycle to somewhere she wants to go. So more often than not we cycle to the local park to play o the swings etc and also to the local hovercraft terminal as she enjoys watching them too.
Not sure whether a nine year old goes to the park, but making the cycling part of getting somewhere rather than the entire task might work??
We usually cycle to somewhere she wants to go. So more often than not we cycle to the local park to play o the swings etc and also to the local hovercraft terminal as she enjoys watching them too.
Not sure whether a nine year old goes to the park, but making the cycling part of getting somewhere rather than the entire task might work??
Jelly babies. My 12 year old would sit and play minecraft until his skull imploded, but once I get him out on the bike he loves it.
Some days he doesn't want to get going and he'll just sulk a bit, going really slow, but if I add jelly babies and maybe share a can of cola with him (guilt free as I know he's going to burn it and it's the only time he ever gets it) five minutes later he wakes up and absolutely loves it.
38 miles on the roadie last sunday...
Some days he doesn't want to get going and he'll just sulk a bit, going really slow, but if I add jelly babies and maybe share a can of cola with him (guilt free as I know he's going to burn it and it's the only time he ever gets it) five minutes later he wakes up and absolutely loves it.
38 miles on the roadie last sunday...
I'd try letting her plan and lead the ride (with assistance obviously). Let her choose the route and set the pace and decide when to turn around, rather than feeling that she has to follow you.
Going somewhere interesting also helps, rather than just riding for the sake of it.
Also worth trying different types of riding. My daughter hates going up hills but has discovered a love for the local BMX track.
Final silly suggestion is a bit of rope to wrap around the handlebars of her bike and tow her up the hills! Works well in the short term, long term might be different though!
Going somewhere interesting also helps, rather than just riding for the sake of it.
Also worth trying different types of riding. My daughter hates going up hills but has discovered a love for the local BMX track.
Final silly suggestion is a bit of rope to wrap around the handlebars of her bike and tow her up the hills! Works well in the short term, long term might be different though!
She's obviously not interested so in fairness I'd leave it there, no point in forcing the issue as it will just make her even more determined to not enjoy it, which in turn will cause even more friction between the two of you.
Kids can't like everything and as for people suggesting bribery; she's 9, not 4.
Kids can't like everything and as for people suggesting bribery; she's 9, not 4.
I don't have kids, but it might be worth looking at the Breeze network and Take the stage/ We own yellow, both are on twitter / Facebook and are setups with the aim of getting more women into cycling. Emma Pooley is tied up with Breeze and Marianne Vos and a few other pro women formed TTS/ WOY.
Vos ran a secret twitter ride at the weekend, ok that was aimed at late teens and adults but there are kid orientated ones too by both setups.
If you want to inspire her, you could take her to a race if your in the midlands/ south east. Next year the Womens tour is back and the London GP will happen to. In my experience, the women are more than happy to talk to people and are very approachable. Helen Wyman (@cxhelen) does try and reply to every tweet she gets and you could do worse than approach her for ideas etc, she's also racing in Milton Keynes 29th Nov at the Cyclocross World Cup.
I've used Helen as an example, but I've also had responses from Tiffany Cromwell, Ally Stacher, some of WiggleHonda and a few others via twitter.
Certainly when I was growing up, friends cycled together, and I was never off mine. Used to be out all the time, cycling round the country side of shropshire.
It could just be she doesn't like cycling, not everyone does, to me, it was transport. My drive was shooting and archery as a kid and still is today, although I now find it relaxing, I'll never be a racer.
Vos ran a secret twitter ride at the weekend, ok that was aimed at late teens and adults but there are kid orientated ones too by both setups.
If you want to inspire her, you could take her to a race if your in the midlands/ south east. Next year the Womens tour is back and the London GP will happen to. In my experience, the women are more than happy to talk to people and are very approachable. Helen Wyman (@cxhelen) does try and reply to every tweet she gets and you could do worse than approach her for ideas etc, she's also racing in Milton Keynes 29th Nov at the Cyclocross World Cup.
I've used Helen as an example, but I've also had responses from Tiffany Cromwell, Ally Stacher, some of WiggleHonda and a few others via twitter.
Certainly when I was growing up, friends cycled together, and I was never off mine. Used to be out all the time, cycling round the country side of shropshire.
It could just be she doesn't like cycling, not everyone does, to me, it was transport. My drive was shooting and archery as a kid and still is today, although I now find it relaxing, I'll never be a racer.
Edited by Celtic Dragon on Wednesday 29th October 11:45
OP, Moors Valley would be a good place to go, plenty of singletrack through the woods, not much climbing and some decent ice cream at the visitor centre. Also Go Ape looks good fun. Lots of families on the through the woods sections looking as if they're enjoying it. Can get busy at weekends though.
timbo48 said:
OP, Moors Valley would be a good place to go, plenty of singletrack through the woods, not much climbing and some decent ice cream at the visitor centre. Also Go Ape looks good fun. Lots of families on the through the woods sections looking as if they're enjoying it. Can get busy at weekends though.
Funny you should mention that.. Sunday 3/4 of the tribe out
Was the smalls first full lap, have been doing some longer rides already though. I do agree, Ice Cream half way works! Problem in our house is we need another bike now, No1 Daughter needs a full size MTB, that's No2 on No1's bike. My lad is bike mad, hopefully some "bumpy" tyres have arrived today to fit..
Edited by Silver940 on Wednesday 29th October 14:02
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