Any funny stories from school...........??
Discussion
What funny stories do PH'ers have to tell..??
In year 10, (or the fourth year as it used to be called), this lad came to my school whose Dad was an oil sheik or something, and he was very good looking in a "Omar Sharif" kind of way, and used to get dropped off outside school every morning in a chauffer driven black stretch Mercedes........
In fact he was so good looking all the girls used to swarm round him.....
Anyhow, one Monday morning, the teacher asked us all to write a brief essay on what we had done over the weekend, and most people said they had been to a footie match, been shopping with their Mum, played in the park etc, pretty boring routine stuff....
Not him, oh no...
....He had been for a short break down to Nice in his Dad's Lear Jet......
The look on the teacher's face was a picture.....
In year 10, (or the fourth year as it used to be called), this lad came to my school whose Dad was an oil sheik or something, and he was very good looking in a "Omar Sharif" kind of way, and used to get dropped off outside school every morning in a chauffer driven black stretch Mercedes........
In fact he was so good looking all the girls used to swarm round him.....
Anyhow, one Monday morning, the teacher asked us all to write a brief essay on what we had done over the weekend, and most people said they had been to a footie match, been shopping with their Mum, played in the park etc, pretty boring routine stuff....
Not him, oh no...
....He had been for a short break down to Nice in his Dad's Lear Jet...... The look on the teacher's face was a picture.....
Oh so many but they usually all contain the following: Buggery, Housemasters and 3am!!
Only joking of course!!!
I do have one rather amusing one. I was on prefect duty at school, with another prefect, and we happened upon a boy sat in one of the classrooms. At school no boy was allowed in the classrooms during a break period; only their house common room or in the quad area. So we put him into prefect's detention. He then gave us the usual sob story about how if he was given this, he would be on suspension because he had such a poor record. So, my friend and I said well if you go and buy us both a Mars bar each, we will say no more about it. He returns from the tuck shop and presents them to us. Each of us then issued us with another detention for trying to bribe us!! The boy reported us to his tutor, who passed it onto his housemaster who then told the surmaster and deputy head. So, later that day we summoned into the deputy head's study to explain. Of course we swore blind that we had not suggested the bribe, and that the whole story was a product of his devious little mind. Cue, two prefects stroll away scott-free and one young boy with a very serious headmaster's detention lasting a whole saturday and a letter to his parents informing them of his evil doings!! Priceless!!
Actually, looking back a tad harsh perhaps for the poor boy??!!
Only joking of course!!!
I do have one rather amusing one. I was on prefect duty at school, with another prefect, and we happened upon a boy sat in one of the classrooms. At school no boy was allowed in the classrooms during a break period; only their house common room or in the quad area. So we put him into prefect's detention. He then gave us the usual sob story about how if he was given this, he would be on suspension because he had such a poor record. So, my friend and I said well if you go and buy us both a Mars bar each, we will say no more about it. He returns from the tuck shop and presents them to us. Each of us then issued us with another detention for trying to bribe us!! The boy reported us to his tutor, who passed it onto his housemaster who then told the surmaster and deputy head. So, later that day we summoned into the deputy head's study to explain. Of course we swore blind that we had not suggested the bribe, and that the whole story was a product of his devious little mind. Cue, two prefects stroll away scott-free and one young boy with a very serious headmaster's detention lasting a whole saturday and a letter to his parents informing them of his evil doings!! Priceless!!
Actually, looking back a tad harsh perhaps for the poor boy??!!
Iceman82 said:
Oh so many but they usually all contain the following: Buggery, Housemasters and 3am!!
Only joking of course!!!
I do have one rather amusing one. I was on prefect duty at school, with another prefect, and we happened upon a boy sat in one of the classrooms. At school no boy was allowed in the classrooms during a break period; only their house common room or in the quad area. So we put him into prefect's detention. He then gave us the usual sob story about how if he was given this, he would be on suspension because he had such a poor record. So, my friend and I said well if you go and buy us both a Mars bar each, we will say no more about it. He returns from the tuck shop and presents them to us. Each of us then issued us with another detention for trying to bribe us!! The boy reported us to his tutor, who passed it onto his housemaster who then told the surmaster and deputy head. So, later that day we summoned into the deputy head's study to explain. Of course we swore blind that we had not suggested the bribe, and that the whole story was a product of his devious little mind. Cue, two prefects stroll away scott-free and one young boy with a very serious headmaster's detention lasting a whole saturday and a letter to his parents informing them of his evil doings!! Priceless!!
Actually, looking back a tad harsh perhaps for the poor boy??!!
You complete and utter ba5tard!
Funny tho'
Typical prefect behaviour - jumped up little s
s with a petty Hitler complex. 
I was late for games and my path took me past one of the cricket squares where a game was in progress. This prefect was fielding, missed the ball as it rolled past him and shouted to me to throw it to him.
I carried on running past and said I was late for athletics. Simple fact was that I was more scared of the Games Master than the prefect.
Later on that day I got a prefect's detention for disobeying an order.
Disobeying an order from a pathetic jumped up spotty 18 year-old pupil. Pathetic really.
s with a petty Hitler complex. I was late for games and my path took me past one of the cricket squares where a game was in progress. This prefect was fielding, missed the ball as it rolled past him and shouted to me to throw it to him.
I carried on running past and said I was late for athletics. Simple fact was that I was more scared of the Games Master than the prefect.
Later on that day I got a prefect's detention for disobeying an order.
Disobeying an order from a pathetic jumped up spotty 18 year-old pupil. Pathetic really.
Iceman82 said:
Sorry Jon, but we weren't like that all the time!! The boy in question was a bit of a prat but perhaps we did go a tad far. However, it was only school!!
I know. Just touched a nerve, I guess. Which is a bit pathetic on my part considering this occurred about 20 years ago.
>> Edited by JonRB on Friday 10th December 14:51
Wow, hmm mine's a little more downmarket and nasty!
Walking home from school one day in a large group, someone decided to trip the local village idiot up next to a convenient pile of dog crap, he toppled straight into it hands first and all us sick buggers used the fashionable insult of the time which was slapping our faces slowly and shouting spastic (we were young)Not wanting to back down, the fool returned the insult thus wiping his dog poo covered hands all down the side of his face!
Kids can be so cruel!
Walking home from school one day in a large group, someone decided to trip the local village idiot up next to a convenient pile of dog crap, he toppled straight into it hands first and all us sick buggers used the fashionable insult of the time which was slapping our faces slowly and shouting spastic (we were young)Not wanting to back down, the fool returned the insult thus wiping his dog poo covered hands all down the side of his face!
Kids can be so cruel!
genius!Headteacher, on stage, to parents after mock exams "Don't worry if you've got older daughters who did better than your son, boys have something they can pull out at the last minute that girls don't"
Most parents nodded sagely, a few of us wonderesd why there's never an oxygen supply around when you need one...
Most parents nodded sagely, a few of us wonderesd why there's never an oxygen supply around when you need one...
I have another one, where no one but myself comes out looking stupid!!
We were celebrating my friends 18th back at his home and a large group of us were sat around with assorted members of his in his living room before going out for dinner. Anyway, there was some amusing banter going on between myself and the birthday boy but frankly our insults were becoming a tad lame until he pulled the classic schoolboy line "well...er.... I had your mum!".
I of course, responded in kind....
" No Kirby.... I had your mum..... and she was bloody great!!"
Silence..... and slowly I looked around to see his mum and other relatives looking at me with horror!! That was a true coat, door event!!!
though I swear she gave me the eye later on!!
We were celebrating my friends 18th back at his home and a large group of us were sat around with assorted members of his in his living room before going out for dinner. Anyway, there was some amusing banter going on between myself and the birthday boy but frankly our insults were becoming a tad lame until he pulled the classic schoolboy line "well...er.... I had your mum!".
I of course, responded in kind....
" No Kirby.... I had your mum..... and she was bloody great!!"
Silence..... and slowly I looked around to see his mum and other relatives looking at me with horror!! That was a true coat, door event!!!
though I swear she gave me the eye later on!!
In my last year or two at first school, we had a PE lesson. This used to be done in pants and vest at that age, just getting changed in the class room.
Anyway all was going as normal, and we walked from the classroom down the coridoor to the hall in pretty much a line. Just as we reached the hall door, the teacher turned around to talk to us before we entered.
I have no idea what she was going to say, but what came out in a rather loud shocked voice was simply "mohammed why are you naked"! Cue everyones head turning around to look behind them and see. The answer came. "We were getting changed and I realised I forgot my pants today so just came like this"
Someone had to walk him back to class to get changed into his clothes and he could give it a miss.
>> Edited by Pulsatingstar on Friday 10th December 15:52
Anyway all was going as normal, and we walked from the classroom down the coridoor to the hall in pretty much a line. Just as we reached the hall door, the teacher turned around to talk to us before we entered.
I have no idea what she was going to say, but what came out in a rather loud shocked voice was simply "mohammed why are you naked"! Cue everyones head turning around to look behind them and see. The answer came. "We were getting changed and I realised I forgot my pants today so just came like this"
Someone had to walk him back to class to get changed into his clothes and he could give it a miss.
>> Edited by Pulsatingstar on Friday 10th December 15:52
I went to a pretty crap school, and 90% of people, including myself, were classed as soft as shit.
We did however have another school in the area which was full of particularly 'harder' pupils.
One night, cricket training night to be precise, myself and a couple of friends were on our way to cricket training. Now to get to the cricket club we had to go across a field, up a little ginnel and down a little side street.
We walked across the field, up the ginnel, turned right onto the street, only to be confronted by a group of people the width of the street (and about 5 deep), which as well as the normal lads, included lasses with hockey sticks.
Its turns out that the schools had 'arranged' a big fight. However, our school had 'forgot' to turn up.
Christ, did we get a kick-in that night.
Quite funny now though.
We did however have another school in the area which was full of particularly 'harder' pupils.
One night, cricket training night to be precise, myself and a couple of friends were on our way to cricket training. Now to get to the cricket club we had to go across a field, up a little ginnel and down a little side street.
We walked across the field, up the ginnel, turned right onto the street, only to be confronted by a group of people the width of the street (and about 5 deep), which as well as the normal lads, included lasses with hockey sticks.
Its turns out that the schools had 'arranged' a big fight. However, our school had 'forgot' to turn up.
Christ, did we get a kick-in that night.
Quite funny now though.
my sisters friend was late for a GCSE exam in the mail hall, everyone was already sitting there in silence having just started the exam. there is a raised stage at the front of the hall with steps going up the side where you have to put your bags and stuff. she tried to drop her bag off discreetly only she fell down the stairs.
then she was looking for her seat, and realised she was in the wrong place for the exam, so had to go back up the stage, collect her stuff and leave!
i am not sure how well those in the hall concentrated on their exams following that!
then she was looking for her seat, and realised she was in the wrong place for the exam, so had to go back up the stage, collect her stuff and leave!
i am not sure how well those in the hall concentrated on their exams following that!
One thing I still find funny is the memory of the time we loosened all the joints on the teacher's chair before a lesson taken by a notably fiery teacher. Half way through the lesson he leaned back in the chair and triggered its disintegration; with a bellow of "BLOODY HELLFIRE!" he disappeared under the desk.
Then there was the English teacher who asked a particularly innocent lad to read his essay out to the class. In a loud, confident voice he announced the first two words of his essay: Mister Quim...
Then there was the English teacher who asked a particularly innocent lad to read his essay out to the class. In a loud, confident voice he announced the first two words of his essay: Mister Quim...
I have a few.... and went to quite a few schools (My Dad could never sit still).
I went to an American school in London (lots of rich arab kids - as well as all sorts of diplomats kids from around the world).
Like the first story, middle of winter, a lebanese friend of mine turns up with a fantastic tan on a Monday morning. I asked him where he got it, it was raining all weekend in Kensington. He'd flown off Friday after school to spend the weekend on his dad's yacht in the Canaries.
Same school, another kid (really not the brightest) begged the teacher at the beginning of a major test what it would take for the Physics teacher to give him the answers of the test. Teacher laughed and said - "Put £2000 on my table right now" thinking that will shut him up. Kid opened his wallet, counted out £2k, put it on the table. Really quite awful thinking about it now, but the look on the teacher's face was priceless.
Same kid (aged 17) kept writing off sports cars - so, after 3 or 4 cars in his first year of driving, he came to school in a Volvo 740 his Dad made him drive - Oh how we laughed!
BTW - the Physics teacher said CD players were crap and that he said the future was solid state players with no moving parts that played digital music. That was 1987!
I went to an American school in London (lots of rich arab kids - as well as all sorts of diplomats kids from around the world).
Like the first story, middle of winter, a lebanese friend of mine turns up with a fantastic tan on a Monday morning. I asked him where he got it, it was raining all weekend in Kensington. He'd flown off Friday after school to spend the weekend on his dad's yacht in the Canaries.
Same school, another kid (really not the brightest) begged the teacher at the beginning of a major test what it would take for the Physics teacher to give him the answers of the test. Teacher laughed and said - "Put £2000 on my table right now" thinking that will shut him up. Kid opened his wallet, counted out £2k, put it on the table. Really quite awful thinking about it now, but the look on the teacher's face was priceless.
Same kid (aged 17) kept writing off sports cars - so, after 3 or 4 cars in his first year of driving, he came to school in a Volvo 740 his Dad made him drive - Oh how we laughed!
BTW - the Physics teacher said CD players were crap and that he said the future was solid state players with no moving parts that played digital music. That was 1987!
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