Asteroid warning on the news
Discussion
Just been informed of a very serious situation. An asteroid in excess of 1 mile in diameter has a 99% chance of hitting our planet in circa 15 years time. This was on the news this AM apparently. Not a joke. Not funny. It's on the news people...
So what will happen? It doesn't matter where the asteroid strikes, we will all suffer. Badly. The impact will send up a mega plume of debris that will cover the world's skies with a black layer of dust. This will remain in the upper atmosphere for many years - reflecting all the sun's rays of light and heat back out into space. End result is the beginning of the next ice age. The entire globe will plunge into zero degrees kelvin (nippy). All food will stop growing immediately. It will be pitch black and utterly freezing. You will all die within a month of impact. Which is nice. In case you were not aware, we've had around eight ice ages already. This won't be the last either.
So what chance of 'blowing up' this nuisance asteroid? NASA and military scientists conclude: "bugger all". We do not presently have the hardware to strike the object with any missiles, lasers or ion beams etc. Sounds straight forward according to Hollywood, but it just isn't. OK?! The speeds and distances are way too extreme for current hardware. Even if we happen to break it up, the chances are a smaller piece will still make it through, so were still shafted. A rock and lead composite asteroid the size of Canary Wharf will be sufficient to start this ice age off anyway. The mile wide piece of rock looks like it's just big enough for good measure.
Right, bring on the jokes. Let's have a laugh about it, then let this thread dive out of the charts for good. Just don't forget to put a note in your diaries. Anyway, surely were long over due to have a tiv v porsche debate, or a moan about this country or some such congestion bollox...
Live it large people, your only here once!
So what will happen? It doesn't matter where the asteroid strikes, we will all suffer. Badly. The impact will send up a mega plume of debris that will cover the world's skies with a black layer of dust. This will remain in the upper atmosphere for many years - reflecting all the sun's rays of light and heat back out into space. End result is the beginning of the next ice age. The entire globe will plunge into zero degrees kelvin (nippy). All food will stop growing immediately. It will be pitch black and utterly freezing. You will all die within a month of impact. Which is nice. In case you were not aware, we've had around eight ice ages already. This won't be the last either.
So what chance of 'blowing up' this nuisance asteroid? NASA and military scientists conclude: "bugger all". We do not presently have the hardware to strike the object with any missiles, lasers or ion beams etc. Sounds straight forward according to Hollywood, but it just isn't. OK?! The speeds and distances are way too extreme for current hardware. Even if we happen to break it up, the chances are a smaller piece will still make it through, so were still shafted. A rock and lead composite asteroid the size of Canary Wharf will be sufficient to start this ice age off anyway. The mile wide piece of rock looks like it's just big enough for good measure.
Right, bring on the jokes. Let's have a laugh about it, then let this thread dive out of the charts for good. Just don't forget to put a note in your diaries. Anyway, surely were long over due to have a tiv v porsche debate, or a moan about this country or some such congestion bollox...
Live it large people, your only here once!
Sounds like a great scam to boost TVR sales! Okay from teh beeb:
"An asteroid discovered just weeks ago has become the most threatening object yet detected in space.
A preliminary orbit suggests that 2002 NT7 is on an impact course with Earth and could strike the planet on 1 February, 2019 - although the uncertainties are large.
Astronomers have given the object a rating on the so-called Palermo technical scale of threat of 0.06, making NT7 the first object to be given a positive value.
Although astronomers say the object definitely merits attention, they expect more observations to show it is not on an Earth-intersecting trajectory. "
Not time to panic..yet!
"An asteroid discovered just weeks ago has become the most threatening object yet detected in space.
A preliminary orbit suggests that 2002 NT7 is on an impact course with Earth and could strike the planet on 1 February, 2019 - although the uncertainties are large.
Astronomers have given the object a rating on the so-called Palermo technical scale of threat of 0.06, making NT7 the first object to be given a positive value.
Although astronomers say the object definitely merits attention, they expect more observations to show it is not on an Earth-intersecting trajectory. "
Not time to panic..yet!
Message to Gordon Brown:
Dear Gordon
It has come to my attention that an asteroid may be heading for England. Please take take appropirate steps to introduce an asteroid excise disc for the duration of it's visit.
I am also concerned about the disparity of speed between asteroids, aeroplanes and budgies. Please take steps to allow local authorities to errect Hovering Gatso cameras to bring down the speed of the asteroids and aeroplanes to a correctly socially engineered figure to allow the safe flight of the budgies and their feathered friends.
Ever your loyal voter
DAZ
Dear Gordon
It has come to my attention that an asteroid may be heading for England. Please take take appropirate steps to introduce an asteroid excise disc for the duration of it's visit.
I am also concerned about the disparity of speed between asteroids, aeroplanes and budgies. Please take steps to allow local authorities to errect Hovering Gatso cameras to bring down the speed of the asteroids and aeroplanes to a correctly socially engineered figure to allow the safe flight of the budgies and their feathered friends.
Ever your loyal voter
DAZ
Don't take out the loans!
Given that the earth is only 12,500km diameter, there's a fair chance it'll miss by a large margin.
Wait and see... Oh, by the way, for the pessimists, if you do get a large loan, I've got a TVR for sale for £50,000 - you know it makes sense!
quote:
"The error in our knowledge of where NT7 will be on 1 February, 2019, is large, several tens of millions of kilometres," he said.
Given that the earth is only 12,500km diameter, there's a fair chance it'll miss by a large margin.
Wait and see... Oh, by the way, for the pessimists, if you do get a large loan, I've got a TVR for sale for £50,000 - you know it makes sense!
quote:
Message to Gordon Brown:
Dear Gordon
It has come to my attention that an asteroid may be heading for England. Please take take appropirate steps to introduce an asteroid excise disc for the duration of it's visit.
I am also concerned about the disparity of speed between asteroids, aeroplanes and budgies. Please take steps to allow local authorities to errect Hovering Gatso cameras to bring down the speed of the asteroids and aeroplanes to a correctly socially engineered figure to allow the safe flight of the budgies and their feathered friends.
Ever your loyal voter
DAZ
Anyway, all you need for an asteroid is one of those little spaceships that look like an 'A'. You shoot the asteroid, and it breaks into two; shoot those bits, and they split into two smaller ones again, and then if you shoot them they disappear. No problem!
What we really need to look out for are those little bastard UFO spaceships...
What we really need to look out for are those little bastard UFO spaceships...
quote:
mm i heard that too, although i think they said it would probably change course before it hits us...
mind you if we still have aing Labour Government by then it will be a god send... ey maybe its a message from god (tm) vote the
Graham,
You've got it all wrong a Labour government is the only chance we have to survive. If the continue with the red tape creation policy they'll be enough tape to allow the asteroid to bounce off.
quote:
quote:
Message to Gordon Brown:
Dear Gordon
It has come to my attention that an asteroid may be heading for England. Please take take appropirate steps to introduce an asteroid excise disc for the duration of it's visit.
I am also concerned about the disparity of speed between asteroids, aeroplanes and budgies. Please take steps to allow local authorities to errect Hovering Gatso cameras to bring down the speed of the asteroids and aeroplanes to a correctly socially engineered figure to allow the safe flight of the budgies and their feathered friends.
Ever your loyal voter
DAZ
Su-bleedin'-perb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell you what tho', RR - methinks if it is Armageddon time, the boys at Gemballa are gonna be getting a call for a bit of carbon-fibred, full-strength dilithium EVO 900 GTR powered madness!!!
Bit eerie nevertheless; only 2 nights ago I was watching that preposterous nonesense with Bruce Willis & Crew doing the biz in that there asteroid flick; The Medusa Touch or what? (Dicky Burton - now there's what you CALL a thesp!) Blibble.
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