Where do Tuscan Drivers go in winter ????
Discussion
Do they get put in a box of straw under the stairs with the tortoise?? 
Do they go back to International Jewel Thiefery?? (You know who you are!
)
Do they try to sell more cars, do more work, and generally top up severely kicked bank accounts and overdrafts???
Or do they trot off to some posh gaff in Blackpool and get wasted and tell hugely exaggerated stories of stunning feats of skill and driving ability???
Who knows??
Will they climb out into the sun again next season??
Now thats the bit we really want to know.
Merry
>>> Edited by ratpit on Thursday 11th November 08:15
Do they go back to International Jewel Thiefery?? (You know who you are!
) Do they try to sell more cars, do more work, and generally top up severely kicked bank accounts and overdrafts???
Or do they trot off to some posh gaff in Blackpool and get wasted and tell hugely exaggerated stories of stunning feats of skill and driving ability???
Who knows??
Will they climb out into the sun again next season??
Now thats the bit we really want to know.
Merry
>>> Edited by ratpit on Thursday 11th November 08:15
Do they get put in a box of straw under the stairs with the tortoise?? - Lee Caroline
Do they go back to International Jewel Thiefery?? (You know who you are!) - Andy Holden
Do they try to sell more cars, do more work, and generally top up severely kicked bank accounts and overdrafts??? - Rod Barrett
Or do they trot off to some posh gaff in Blackpool and get wasted and tell hugely exaggerated stories of stunning feats of skill and driving ability??? - Ben Samuelson!
Who knows??
Good inside information Ratpit! How did you know!
Do they go back to International Jewel Thiefery?? (You know who you are!) - Andy Holden
Do they try to sell more cars, do more work, and generally top up severely kicked bank accounts and overdrafts??? - Rod Barrett
Or do they trot off to some posh gaff in Blackpool and get wasted and tell hugely exaggerated stories of stunning feats of skill and driving ability??? - Ben Samuelson!
Who knows??
Good inside information Ratpit! How did you know!
The Tuscan driver is a seasonal creature, as you point out. Normally seen in its natural habitat (often disused airfields) strutting around in its nomex plummage, between the months of April and October.
After this the Tuscan driver returns to its nest. Those which sold the nest to fund the season scratch about in the undergrowth for a while before renting a new one.
During the off season the Tuscan driver hibernates, waking periodically and emitting a brief squawk 'John (Reid), what the f**k is going on' before returning to its slumbers.
Throughout the winter murky transactions take place, with parts, trucks, and cars changing hands and re-emerging the following year, often with different coloured plummage.
There is of course the annual migration to Blackpool where the Tuscan driver pays homage to the penguin, proudly displaying different plummage for 18 hours, talks bollocks before immediately hibernating for the following 24 hours.
After that the Tuscan driver emulates the magpie - roving the countryside for sufficient monetary scraps to make it out the following year.
After this the Tuscan driver returns to its nest. Those which sold the nest to fund the season scratch about in the undergrowth for a while before renting a new one.
During the off season the Tuscan driver hibernates, waking periodically and emitting a brief squawk 'John (Reid), what the f**k is going on' before returning to its slumbers.
Throughout the winter murky transactions take place, with parts, trucks, and cars changing hands and re-emerging the following year, often with different coloured plummage.
There is of course the annual migration to Blackpool where the Tuscan driver pays homage to the penguin, proudly displaying different plummage for 18 hours, talks bollocks before immediately hibernating for the following 24 hours.
After that the Tuscan driver emulates the magpie - roving the countryside for sufficient monetary scraps to make it out the following year.
I can't remember either Adam!!
I have been keeping up my Tuscan training though. A young lad wrote off his Ford Fiesta by driving into the back of my stationary truck 2 weeks ago. I was on my way to dinner with Uncle Rodney and Gerard Coakley who thought it was highly amusing that I hadn't appreciated the season was over...
I have been keeping up my Tuscan training though. A young lad wrote off his Ford Fiesta by driving into the back of my stationary truck 2 weeks ago. I was on my way to dinner with Uncle Rodney and Gerard Coakley who thought it was highly amusing that I hadn't appreciated the season was over...
griff2be said:
I can't remember either Adam!!
I have been keeping up my Tuscan training though. A young lad wrote off his Ford Fiesta by driving into the back of my stationary truck 2 weeks ago. I was on my way to dinner with Uncle Rodney and Gerard Coakley who thought it was highly amusing that I hadn't appreciated the season was over...
27/29 I haven't stopped laughing, mind you the story he told us when he finally arrived at the resturant was somewhat different,
" Sorry to be late chaps, had a small incident on the "25" whilst drafting a Scandia loadmaster, dropped down to third on a balanced throttle, went for the inside line, we were close but not too close, I knew he had to brake a touch earlier then me on account of the 40ft container he was hauling, but he was good and as he technically had the racing line, he forced me to give way." "Well, I wasn't having that, so with a quick flick of the wrist I was on his outside, and this time I had the line, Yes!!, got him,.........and to the victor the spoils, I was now the next in line for the diesel pump"
"unfortunatly, he lost it somewhere between the Vac-U-like, and the wild bean cafe, hit a car transporter which in turn crashed into the 5 star token section of the car wash, where this young bloke had just finished washing his nearly new 1.4 focus or suchlike, forcing the driver to launch himself prematurly through the still rotating brushes, and with a windscreen full of liquid soap, he piled into the back of my truck"
"Tricky places these motorway services"
ratpit said:
Will they climb out into the sun again next season??
Now thats the bit we really want to know.
Hey everyone...did u all notice how some things never change from summer to winter...as in there's still plenty of b****cks posted here and rarely any answers to the questions.
Come on Nos. 6 & 13.5...tell us all about your new cars.
Rod Barrett said:
I haven't stopped laughing, mind you the story he told us when he finally arrived at the resturant was somewhat different,
" Sorry to be late chaps, had a small incident on the "25" whilst drafting a Scandia loadmaster, dropped down to third on a balanced throttle, went for the inside line....."
Now that is a much funnier version So, Uncle Rodney - another change of log-in name and I see Ted has stripped you of your racing driver flag thingy. Is there some significance to this?!
As for Mr Chuggaboom, it may be boll*cks to you, but to some people its entertainment. I'm not aware of those people, but I am reliably informed that there is at least one person in northern Siberia who thinks the exchanges on these pages are midly amusing.
On the car front, I am not at liberty to divulge such matters at this stage. I can confirm that dear old blue No 6 (the car with the finest rear end in parc ferme at Brands), has been sold
and is now with his new owner. No 6 will remain as a race car but will race outside the Tuscan/TVR Challenge in 2005, possibly returning in 2006. As for me - well there is a space in my garage, with just the odd oil stain to remind me of No 6
I have bought another car, but until I actually take delivery I will not be commenting further - except to say that it won't have a Speed 6 engine
jamesc said:
James - has it occured to you that either myself or the Keens may not wish this to be public at the moment?
Sorry Andy,
I thought it was out in the open. Someone told me! If you want to keep a secret, then don't tell anyone!
27/29 Now! now! children, no rough stuff, it will only end in tears
Lets leave "news reports" to those who are directly involved and are ready to go public. There are lots of things going on at present, cars being sold, cars being bought, new teams, old teams, new series etc etc, so lets leave it to them to tell us all what their plans are for 2005 as and when they wish to, spilling the beans too early can effect plans and as a lot of effort goes into making things happen in the first place, people can get understandably upset if news breaks prematurely.
Anyway, it's all rubbish cos I've bought all the cars, signed up for all the series, and me and my mate JP have bought all the circuits
ratpit said:
Do they get put in a box of straw under the stairs with the tortoise??
Do they go back to International Jewel Thiefery?? (You know who you are!
Do they try to sell more cars, do more work, and generally top up severely kicked bank accounts and overdrafts???
Or do they trot off to some posh gaff in Blackpool and get wasted and tell hugely exaggerated stories of stunning feats of skill and driving ability???
Who knows??
Will they climb out into the sun again next season??
Now thats the bit we really want to know.
Merry
Perhaps Ratpit can tell us more!
Rod Barrett said:Wake up...wake up...its all a (bad) dream Rodders.
Anyway, it's all rubbish cos I've bought all the cars, signed up for all the series, and me and my mate JP have bought all the circuits
Next u'll get it into your head u can do No.38's times or better.
And
stop using 29...u...u imposter !.... u dirty rotten scoundrel !!! 
Even 27 is a flagrant breach of loyalty to the Swedish Chef.
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