Inheritance Advice
Discussion
I am looking for advice/pointers as regards the following situation regarding inheritance.
Siblings 2 and 3 have asked for, and been given, part of any possible future inheritance now. Neither sibling 2 or 3 has mentioned this to me, sibling 1 if you had not figured that bit out. £22,000 and £10,000 respectively.
I am going to discuss this with them and want to have a sensible/equitable plan to to put to them regarding the "future value" of the money they have been given now in any inheritance there may be in the future.
The money they have been given has come from our parents, both in their late 70's, savings which is what the parents live on. These savings are in various investments (stocks, shares, ISA, etc) some of which had to be sold to provide the cash for siblings 2 and 3.
The easy option would just be to subtract the £22,000 and £10,000 from any inheritance they receive, assuming any will splits the inheritance 3 ways.
Another option, given that the money was in investments which could have increased in value, is to link the cash to an index, possibly FTSE 100, and track the "value" of the cash against this index in future years. For example in 2014 the FTSE 100 rises 4% therefore the £20,000 becomes £20,800. In 2015 the FTSE 100 rises 2% therefore the £20,800 becomes £21216. In 2016 the FTSE100 drops 3% therefore the £21216 becomes £20579.52 and so on.
As I said I am just looking for a sensible/equitable way that this might be handled.
Siblings 2 and 3 have asked for, and been given, part of any possible future inheritance now. Neither sibling 2 or 3 has mentioned this to me, sibling 1 if you had not figured that bit out. £22,000 and £10,000 respectively.
I am going to discuss this with them and want to have a sensible/equitable plan to to put to them regarding the "future value" of the money they have been given now in any inheritance there may be in the future.
The money they have been given has come from our parents, both in their late 70's, savings which is what the parents live on. These savings are in various investments (stocks, shares, ISA, etc) some of which had to be sold to provide the cash for siblings 2 and 3.
The easy option would just be to subtract the £22,000 and £10,000 from any inheritance they receive, assuming any will splits the inheritance 3 ways.
Another option, given that the money was in investments which could have increased in value, is to link the cash to an index, possibly FTSE 100, and track the "value" of the cash against this index in future years. For example in 2014 the FTSE 100 rises 4% therefore the £20,000 becomes £20,800. In 2015 the FTSE 100 rises 2% therefore the £20,800 becomes £21216. In 2016 the FTSE100 drops 3% therefore the £21216 becomes £20579.52 and so on.
As I said I am just looking for a sensible/equitable way that this might be handled.
Yeh, if my sibling recieved money from my parents for a wedding for example ( £15,000 ) I wouldn't then say that is part of her inheritance. Whether your parents are 70 or 40, that doesn't change the situation. Your inheritance will be given to you by them for what they think is acceptable. That's it. You're not their money manager, or accountant, or advisor.
Your thought process, whilst I see where you're coming from, is wrong in this situation.
Your thought process, whilst I see where you're coming from, is wrong in this situation.
Yup...families are often bonkers and parents can rarely be told what to do...
My older, unmarried brother (46) is in the process of getting my mother to put her life savings into a new house for him, which will enable him to get a rental income from his current house too. They also kept the plan secret until they were under offer, at which point they had the temerity to ask me to pay the stamp duty (a large five figure sum).
My mother's logic is that my brother needs financial help, whereas I don't. Given I'm paying school fees for her only grandchildren it's a bit ridiculous, but that's her choice - he'll always be the golden boy and she'll always give him what he wants.
My older, unmarried brother (46) is in the process of getting my mother to put her life savings into a new house for him, which will enable him to get a rental income from his current house too. They also kept the plan secret until they were under offer, at which point they had the temerity to ask me to pay the stamp duty (a large five figure sum).
My mother's logic is that my brother needs financial help, whereas I don't. Given I'm paying school fees for her only grandchildren it's a bit ridiculous, but that's her choice - he'll always be the golden boy and she'll always give him what he wants.
Edited by P1ato on Saturday 12th October 21:25
My advice. Don't count on any inheritance.
Don't discuss it with parents or siblings, and always pretend that money is a little tight, and even if you pay off you mortgage, always drop in that you are still in negative equity, following a seriously foolish business investment, where you got taken to the cleaner. If anyone mentions the car, or the watch, remind them that you don't own them, and it's all show.
The only thing I've ever said to my parents is "why am I getting 40%, when my oldest sister is getting only 20%? Why don't you give each child and each grandchild and each great grandchild the same share each...Not that I want your money, and wish you'd just spend it on holidays"
Don't discuss it with parents or siblings, and always pretend that money is a little tight, and even if you pay off you mortgage, always drop in that you are still in negative equity, following a seriously foolish business investment, where you got taken to the cleaner. If anyone mentions the car, or the watch, remind them that you don't own them, and it's all show.
The only thing I've ever said to my parents is "why am I getting 40%, when my oldest sister is getting only 20%? Why don't you give each child and each grandchild and each great grandchild the same share each...Not that I want your money, and wish you'd just spend it on holidays"
New POD said:
My advice. Don't count on any inheritance.
Don't discuss it with parents or siblings, and always pretend that money is a little tight, and even if you pay off you mortgage, always drop in that you are still in negative equity, following a seriously foolish business investment, where you got taken to the cleaner. If anyone mentions the car, or the watch, remind them that you don't own them, and it's all show.
The only thing I've ever said to my parents is "why am I getting 40%, when my oldest sister is getting only 20%? Why don't you give each child and each grandchild and each great grandchild the same share each...Not that I want your money, and wish you'd just spend it on holidays"
Great advice!Don't discuss it with parents or siblings, and always pretend that money is a little tight, and even if you pay off you mortgage, always drop in that you are still in negative equity, following a seriously foolish business investment, where you got taken to the cleaner. If anyone mentions the car, or the watch, remind them that you don't own them, and it's all show.
The only thing I've ever said to my parents is "why am I getting 40%, when my oldest sister is getting only 20%? Why don't you give each child and each grandchild and each great grandchild the same share each...Not that I want your money, and wish you'd just spend it on holidays"
I accept I am probably in the minority in the following feelings. And, I will also acknowledge that I've been fortunate in life and I want for nothing due to working my arse off to get where I am.
There's the disclaimers done.
I don't want or expect a Penny from my parents. I would not be offended if they gave everything to my brother and his family. I have a good relationship with my family and money can only spoil that. My parents money is their achievement. Not mine. If they want to donate to charity then good on them. It's not mine.
So here's why I feel that way, my grand father was rich and passed it to my grand mother on his death. I'm not talking about wealthy. I'm talking about money that would set up many generations of my family. No one would have to work kind of money. I don't get on with my grand mother and was written out of the will when I was 3. I'm not joking. 3. She had used money to control some members of my family for 90 years and I have several cousins that have spent their lives waiting for her to die. They are hitting 40 now and still live with their parents. In my opinion they have lost their lives waiting. My grand mother once wrote someone out of the inheritance because they bought the wrong jam.
And finally, obviously I'm not going to give addresses away but........ She lives in a semi detached house in the North of England. I know the village and it is beautiful but her neighbours probably think she is just a normal old lady. Just up the road is an amazing country estate that my grandfather was going to buy with cash. (I mean cash as well in notes) but she is just a little old lady in the semi. Money doesn't bring happiness.
There's the disclaimers done.
I don't want or expect a Penny from my parents. I would not be offended if they gave everything to my brother and his family. I have a good relationship with my family and money can only spoil that. My parents money is their achievement. Not mine. If they want to donate to charity then good on them. It's not mine.
So here's why I feel that way, my grand father was rich and passed it to my grand mother on his death. I'm not talking about wealthy. I'm talking about money that would set up many generations of my family. No one would have to work kind of money. I don't get on with my grand mother and was written out of the will when I was 3. I'm not joking. 3. She had used money to control some members of my family for 90 years and I have several cousins that have spent their lives waiting for her to die. They are hitting 40 now and still live with their parents. In my opinion they have lost their lives waiting. My grand mother once wrote someone out of the inheritance because they bought the wrong jam.
And finally, obviously I'm not going to give addresses away but........ She lives in a semi detached house in the North of England. I know the village and it is beautiful but her neighbours probably think she is just a normal old lady. Just up the road is an amazing country estate that my grandfather was going to buy with cash. (I mean cash as well in notes) but she is just a little old lady in the semi. Money doesn't bring happiness.
h0b0 said:
Money doesn't bring happiness.
How do you know she's not happy? Presumable she lives in a semi in that village because she wants to, money buys freedom but it doesn't have to be spent on things you don't want.But meanwhile I suspect that you have no idea how much money she has or who she or your parents are going to leave it to. Nobody has a right to inherit, they can do what they want with it.
Time to stop thinking about it and get on with life and treat anything you get as a bonus.
I had a similar thing to the OP.
I've worked hard to get into a position where I have a good income, including putting money aside for the future and not just blowing it all now. My sister, on the other hand, has always been in relatively low-paid jobs (relative to me - she and her husband still have a joint income pushing £50k pa, at a guess) and spent everything she has had (and more - I know my parents have sorted out her credit card debts on more than one occasion).
When my sister needed a bigger house because of having children, my parents gifted her £40k to help out (she lives in a cheap area of the north - £250k gets you a very nice house). Now, my sister could easily have sold her small house on a nice estate and, for the same money, bought a perfectly decent, 3/4 bed, 60s family house just a few roads away. But that wasn't good enough and she wanted something bigger and smarter. And that's why she got £40k from my parents to help with that.
If she had genuinely needed the money to put a roof over her head, I wouldn't have begrudged it for a second. But she didn't - she wanted THE house which was better than she could afford. And me, well I didn't need the money because (according to my parents) I already had THE house (which, not incidentally) is actually a little smaller than my sisters.
My parents did okay for themselves financially, but £40k is still a big chunk of their wealth and definitely had an effect on their retirement income. Living in the north, you don't tend to get the massive amounts of wealth tied up in property like you do in the south.
Getting (eventually) to my point, I just had to suck it up - my parents' money; my parents' decision what to do with it. But it did piss me off massively and I'll admit to being resentful for a while afterwards when I went to stay at my sister's house. I'll be very careful about how I pass on money to my children and make sure they are treated as equally as possible.
I've worked hard to get into a position where I have a good income, including putting money aside for the future and not just blowing it all now. My sister, on the other hand, has always been in relatively low-paid jobs (relative to me - she and her husband still have a joint income pushing £50k pa, at a guess) and spent everything she has had (and more - I know my parents have sorted out her credit card debts on more than one occasion).
When my sister needed a bigger house because of having children, my parents gifted her £40k to help out (she lives in a cheap area of the north - £250k gets you a very nice house). Now, my sister could easily have sold her small house on a nice estate and, for the same money, bought a perfectly decent, 3/4 bed, 60s family house just a few roads away. But that wasn't good enough and she wanted something bigger and smarter. And that's why she got £40k from my parents to help with that.
If she had genuinely needed the money to put a roof over her head, I wouldn't have begrudged it for a second. But she didn't - she wanted THE house which was better than she could afford. And me, well I didn't need the money because (according to my parents) I already had THE house (which, not incidentally) is actually a little smaller than my sisters.
My parents did okay for themselves financially, but £40k is still a big chunk of their wealth and definitely had an effect on their retirement income. Living in the north, you don't tend to get the massive amounts of wealth tied up in property like you do in the south.
Getting (eventually) to my point, I just had to suck it up - my parents' money; my parents' decision what to do with it. But it did piss me off massively and I'll admit to being resentful for a while afterwards when I went to stay at my sister's house. I'll be very careful about how I pass on money to my children and make sure they are treated as equally as possible.
OK, it looks like my overall message wasn't clear. My point is that no one should feel entitled to inheritance. And more importantly, you shouldn't waste your life waiting for a presumed inheritance.
Siscar said:
How do you know she's not happy?
I know she isn't happy because my mother still talks to her. Some people simply don't have the capacity to be happy and she is one of them. Her only pleasure is to bring other people down to her level of misery. Siscar said:
Presumable she lives in a semi in that village because she wants to, money buys freedom but it doesn't have to be spent on things you don't want.
It would be ridiculous for her to live in a large house without having a large involved family. My point was that she blends in and no one would know her wealth. Siscar said:
But meanwhile I suspect that you have no idea how much money she has
We do have an idea. Siscar said:
or who she or your parents are going to leave it to.
I know how my parents will leave their money. I have their wills. I started out by saying i didn't care where the money went. Not that I didn't know. For my grand mother, only she and her solicitor will know. She has changed it so many times. Siscar said:
Nobody has a right to inherit, they can do what they want with it.
I wouldn't say that. I'd rather money be inherited or donated than be eaten by tax. Siscar said:
Time to stop thinking about it and get on with life and treat anything you get as a bonus.
I honestly do not spend time thinking "what if". If there is anything I think about it is the impact on my family relationships. When my grand father was alive my family would hold massive parties. We were very social internally and in the community. When he died my grand mother closed the business and people lost their jobs. We haven't had the family in the same room since my grandfather died. Gassing Station | Finance | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff