Funny things old people say/do
Discussion
My girlfriends grandfather doesnt have a computer, or an understanding of the internet, and how it all works. The other day he asked if he could have the internet in his home for just one day, without having a computer 
He also drives through gaps which are too small for the car, and has taken the wing mirror clean off about 4 times in the last 18 months.
Her other grandfather was doing some electrical work, and though that by earthing himself to the nearby electricity pylon would prevent him from being harmed in the case of an electrical shock. He also gargled with bleach all his life, and his wife carried a hammer in her bag for personal safety. Eccentric type, he built the kids a roundabout out of a washing machine engine which would plug in, speed up, and then throw the kids all over the garden, but that was before he was old.
Her grandmother once had the an upset stomach, and he thought it would be a clever idea to put newspaper down on the floors of the entire house "in case she didnt make it"
He also drives through gaps which are too small for the car, and has taken the wing mirror clean off about 4 times in the last 18 months.
Her other grandfather was doing some electrical work, and though that by earthing himself to the nearby electricity pylon would prevent him from being harmed in the case of an electrical shock. He also gargled with bleach all his life, and his wife carried a hammer in her bag for personal safety. Eccentric type, he built the kids a roundabout out of a washing machine engine which would plug in, speed up, and then throw the kids all over the garden, but that was before he was old.
Her grandmother once had the an upset stomach, and he thought it would be a clever idea to put newspaper down on the floors of the entire house "in case she didnt make it"
My dear great-grandma started to lose it a little towards the end, following several strokes.
Some of the things, though a little upsetting at the time, still make us smile.
At the time, my husband had long hair. I had popped round with him one weekend, then with another male friend the following weekend. She commented that it was such a shame that he had had all his lovely long hair cut off... We tried to explain that it wasn't Matthew, but in the end gave up.
The following weekend, Matthew and I went to visit her again, and it took him 15 minutes to convince her that his hair was his own, and that it wasn't a wig that he had forgotten to put on the previous week.
Another time we were sat chatting, and she had been having trouble with time, not knowing what time it was. She was commenting about going to bed, and how she didn't like to because it meant leaving the little people on their own. I asked which people, to which she gestured at the window and said "the ones that keep staring at me".... a little concerned, I started to worry that maybe someone had been peering through the windows, especially since there had been a number of attacks on old people in the town recently.
I popped to the loo, and while I was gone, Matthew continued talking to her,a nd eventually worked out that the little people who were watching her was actually the various actors on TV.. she truly believed that there were little people in the tele, and didn't like to switch it off because it meant they were on their own!
That one always makes me laugh!
It must run in the family, however...
Her daughter, my grandma, was discussing flowers with me in the run up to the wedding, and talk had moved to button holes... she said that freesias would be better than roses, as roses tend to wilt quite quickly... I asked if freesias lasted longer, hence her choice of them... "well, no.." she replies.. " they wilt just as quickly"
Eh?!
And my great aunty, talking to my cousin and I (my cousin is training to be a hairdresser).. "eeeh, I see those two fellas have opened a new hair-dressing salon in stockton... business must be good, they've got a shop in Middlesbrough as well..."
Those 'two fellas' are Tony & Guy, World famous hair stylists... you know you;ve made it when you have a shop in stockton, obviously!
Some of the things, though a little upsetting at the time, still make us smile.
At the time, my husband had long hair. I had popped round with him one weekend, then with another male friend the following weekend. She commented that it was such a shame that he had had all his lovely long hair cut off... We tried to explain that it wasn't Matthew, but in the end gave up.
The following weekend, Matthew and I went to visit her again, and it took him 15 minutes to convince her that his hair was his own, and that it wasn't a wig that he had forgotten to put on the previous week.
Another time we were sat chatting, and she had been having trouble with time, not knowing what time it was. She was commenting about going to bed, and how she didn't like to because it meant leaving the little people on their own. I asked which people, to which she gestured at the window and said "the ones that keep staring at me".... a little concerned, I started to worry that maybe someone had been peering through the windows, especially since there had been a number of attacks on old people in the town recently.
I popped to the loo, and while I was gone, Matthew continued talking to her,a nd eventually worked out that the little people who were watching her was actually the various actors on TV.. she truly believed that there were little people in the tele, and didn't like to switch it off because it meant they were on their own!
That one always makes me laugh!
It must run in the family, however...
Her daughter, my grandma, was discussing flowers with me in the run up to the wedding, and talk had moved to button holes... she said that freesias would be better than roses, as roses tend to wilt quite quickly... I asked if freesias lasted longer, hence her choice of them... "well, no.." she replies.. " they wilt just as quickly"
Eh?!
And my great aunty, talking to my cousin and I (my cousin is training to be a hairdresser).. "eeeh, I see those two fellas have opened a new hair-dressing salon in stockton... business must be good, they've got a shop in Middlesbrough as well..."
Those 'two fellas' are Tony & Guy, World famous hair stylists... you know you;ve made it when you have a shop in stockton, obviously!
I remember the time my grandfather accidentally spat his dentures into the sand - he didnt appreciate us laughing, and couldnt see the funny side.
My grandmother (lives overseas, dont think they have many roundabouts) passed her exit, and rather than going round again, slammed on the breaks, and reversed backwards around the roundabout, and off on the exit she had missed.
My grandmother (lives overseas, dont think they have many roundabouts) passed her exit, and rather than going round again, slammed on the breaks, and reversed backwards around the roundabout, and off on the exit she had missed.
My aunty Mary had a few classics, if an electric socket was switched on but without anything plugged in, she was convinced the electricity was leaking out. She would get very concerned and would go nuts if we switched them on deliberatley to tease her. She really would go into a mad panic, charging across the room and diving down to the socket to turn it off.
Best one liner of hers though was watching Planet of the apes, half way through the film she said "Isnt it good how they train those monkeys!". She was serious.
Best one liner of hers though was watching Planet of the apes, half way through the film she said "Isnt it good how they train those monkeys!". She was serious.
My grandfather used to habitually refer to his electric massager (which he used to ease back pain) as his 'vibrator'. 
My dad and I had a lot of trouble keeping a straight face on that one.
One time it broke down and he asked one of us to fix it.
Cue lots of barely straight-faced questions like "is it no longer giving satisfaction, then?" 
My dad and I had a lot of trouble keeping a straight face on that one.
One time it broke down and he asked one of us to fix it.
Cue lots of barely straight-faced questions like "is it no longer giving satisfaction, then?"
My brother-in-law's Gran's not generally known for her nice nature. His Granda on the other hand, is so easy going it's astonishing that they got together in the first place.
Anyway, through over 50 years of marriage, the Gran had pretty much gone out of her way to make his life as difficult as possible, but he just put up with it for a quiet life.
Until his 80th birthday that is, when after she moaned at him for not putting enough sugar in her tea or something equally trivial, he walked out!
He went for a pint in the next town, then visited the Council and got himself set up with a little bungalow. He returned home, packed his stuff, told her it was over and f
d off.
On moving into the bungalow, he bought himself a Playstation (seriously) and widescreen TV amongst the usual essentials and is now living the life of Riley, doing what he likes when he likes.
Quality.
Anyway, through over 50 years of marriage, the Gran had pretty much gone out of her way to make his life as difficult as possible, but he just put up with it for a quiet life.
Until his 80th birthday that is, when after she moaned at him for not putting enough sugar in her tea or something equally trivial, he walked out!
He went for a pint in the next town, then visited the Council and got himself set up with a little bungalow. He returned home, packed his stuff, told her it was over and f
d off. On moving into the bungalow, he bought himself a Playstation (seriously) and widescreen TV amongst the usual essentials and is now living the life of Riley, doing what he likes when he likes.
Quality.
One of my grandmothers, at a trip to an aquarium, mused "...you don't see the fish coming to the surface to breathe much, do you?"
My other grandmother, at a visit to my aunts, commented what a lovely picture of our family home (in Portishead) hung on the wall, and asked who had painted it.
My aunt peered at the signature at the bottom and remarked "You did, Mum."
My other grandmother, at a visit to my aunts, commented what a lovely picture of our family home (in Portishead) hung on the wall, and asked who had painted it.
My aunt peered at the signature at the bottom and remarked "You did, Mum."
JonRB said:
My grandfather used to habitually refer to his electric massager (which he used to ease back pain) as his 'vibrator'.
My dad and I had a lot of trouble keeping a straight face on that one.
One time it broke down and he asked one of us to fix it.
Cue lots of barely straight-faced questions like "is it no longer giving satisfaction, then?"
Visiting my step-grandoarents at the weekend, I commented to my Nana that I had to get going as I had an Ann Summers party to do that evening. My nana is quite streetwise and asked how I was getting on with the job... Grandad, on the other hand, aasked "Ann Summers, do they make the perfumes?"
err, yes... something like that
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