There's more than one way to skin a cat....
Discussion
1) Use a (sharp) knife
2) Get 'family butcher to do it for you
3) Order a number 33 at the local takeout
4) Place kitty in front of Land Rover wheel, and move forward slowly
5) Scare the crap out of it 10 times (they have nine lives, so on the tenth time they'll leave the skin behind)
6) Hold the tail, stick your hand into its mouth and pull
7) Use that slicer thing they have at the deli counter
8) Score the tip of the tail and peel like a banana
9) Over cook it, and it should peel off - like crackling from a pig
10) Pop to the local vet and pay a fortune.
Hope that helps...
(disclaimer: don't try at home, only joking, etc etc, yadda, yadda, yadda...)
2) Get 'family butcher to do it for you
3) Order a number 33 at the local takeout
4) Place kitty in front of Land Rover wheel, and move forward slowly
5) Scare the crap out of it 10 times (they have nine lives, so on the tenth time they'll leave the skin behind)
6) Hold the tail, stick your hand into its mouth and pull
7) Use that slicer thing they have at the deli counter
8) Score the tip of the tail and peel like a banana
9) Over cook it, and it should peel off - like crackling from a pig
10) Pop to the local vet and pay a fortune.
Hope that helps...
(disclaimer: don't try at home, only joking, etc etc, yadda, yadda, yadda...)
not a pretty sightquote:
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the
answer to "Where do pets come from?"
******************************************************************
Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us
every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here and it is
difficult for us to remember how much you love us."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be
with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that
you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or
childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you
are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.And it was a
good animal. And God was pleased.And the new animal was pleased to be with
Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom
and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a
reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own
name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved
them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and
wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said,
"Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen
like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has
indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."
And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will
with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will
remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not
always worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes,
they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved. And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy. And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.
Just to add a little balance
Inject it with sulphuric acid laiden drain cleaner. It'll eat out it's interior in a couple of days.
Bury it in a red ants nest.
Cut a small wound in it's flesh and insert a few dozen maggots, then stitch it back together.
Put it through a mangle.
Feed it to a large snake. It'll regurgitate the skin.
Bury it in a red ants nest.
Cut a small wound in it's flesh and insert a few dozen maggots, then stitch it back together.
Put it through a mangle.
Feed it to a large snake. It'll regurgitate the skin.
quote:
cruel sods, I love my pussy
www.the.nestas.btinternet.co.uk/fredgallery.htm
I love my pussy too, but I thought we were talking about cats...
quote:Me too, but doesn't mean I can't be cruel about them here - they don't read PH anymore
cruel sods, I love my pussy
www.fffnh.com/wetcat
www.fffnh.com/catburglar
no pictures of the be-lampshaded orange cat yet, but I'll get round to that one day soon-ish..
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