Why we hate 'off-roaders' and all those who drive them

[Yank Tank]

Now listen up, guys and gals. Is there anything more annoying than getting back to your parking space and finding the idiot in the 'off roader' has parked so close that (a) you have to get in your passenger side and (b) they have left a dent in the top of your door? Or the fact that the 'off roader' has never even seen a grass verge? Or that it is driven by a clueless housewife who should really be in a nissan micra but it impresses the other housewives on the school run. Also note pollution and fuel consumption here - even my Yank Tank isn't as bad as a Jeep or Range Rover V8. And what on earth is the point of leather seats in a proper 4x4?? Or the fact that some imperious bastard likes coming up behind you and intimidating with his bull bars or being stuck behind clueless housewife while she attempts to parallel park (no chance!!) PS All Landie drivers and their cars are excluded from this diatribe as they have at least brought a decent instrument even if most of them never use it properly.

[stig]

Oi, Yank Tank - Nooooooo!!!! Not all of us are numpties and at least my Isuzu Trooper is the 'farmers choice' I even take it off road (well, racing paddocks mainly) and as I found at the weekend, it's better than an AMG Merc estate for parking in a wet grassy car park (private joke). I make a point of parking AWAY from any other cars if possible and if I do have to, I make sure to leave enough space for us both to leave - without parking dents! Totally agree about the housewives on the schoolrun though - jeez! http://www.locost-racing.com Car No. 13

[alfa dave]

Parking problems seem to me more to do with European car park spaces. I reckon the British Standard car park space was designed in 1940 based on an Austin 7. Cars have got a lot bigger - spaces haven't. (Unless you qualify for the disabled/mums and kids spaces at Supermarkets) In the Good ol' USofA of course they all drive monster trucks and have space for them. But then who wants to live in Iowa? Go and buy a Mini and spend your time parking as far forward in spaces to wind up other motorists....

[alfa dave]

Sad I know - but I've just done some digging and, as far as I can tell, the Building Regulations requirement for a parking space is a minimum of 4800mm x 2400mm. Now compare that to a Ford Galaxy (darling of the school run) which is 4617mm long and 1810 wide (without mirrors). If Mum miraculously managed to park it right in the middle that would leave 92mm either end and 295mm either side - not much room to open a door... If you count the mirrors too (total 2412mm wide)you actually exceed the standard parking space width. I wonder what the American standard is...

[Yank Tank]

Alfa, you are a sad, sad man for knowing parking space dimensions. UK size is ridiculously small even for something like a Jag or 5-series Beemer, let alone anything larger. As my Corvette is not any longer than an XK8 (maybe shorter even) my problem is purely with numbskulls using up their space and part of mine to boot. I have no idea what the U.S. standard size is, perhaps it is written into the constitution as "...of sufficient size to accommodate a medium sized Winnebago, or similar".

[Cotty]

I guess the reason housewives on the school run use off-roaders is that should anuthing untoward happen then they are big and tough enough to keep their little ankle biters safe and sound. I say wait until she drops the kids off then run them over, obviously only at 20-25 mph as it would be outside a school. Paul

[graham]

To be honest i get more problems with the twonk in the nissan micra that manages to completly f*ck up parking such a small car diagonaly across the space leaving no gat at one end and half a mile at teh other ;-p graham ( 4ltr Chim, 4ltr Discovery and sIII Landy)

[jimbo]

Mercedes drivers are definately the worst parking offenders - I have to park my car in the long stay car park at Schipol airport every week, and without fail every merc takes up 2 spaces. Jim

[manek]

It's the same syndrome that sees them in the motorway middle lane no matter what the conditions. It's called oblivious imperviousness.

[Jason F]

I think Mondeo drivers should be added to the middle lane list... I tend to cruise up behind them and flash them over, most of them don`t even notice I`m there...Or don`t care ( Merc drivers )

[mhibbins]

quote:I think Mondeo drivers should be added to the middle lane list...

Hey! It's not our fault, it clearly says in the manual "accelerate to 80, engage cruise control, turn on foglights, move to middle lane, speak into phone"... nothing we can do, sorry. -- Mark

[apache]

you could always filter past on the inside lane...they don't like that and will flash they're lights indignantly

[pikey]

quote:Sad I know - but I've just done some digging and, as far as I can tell, the Building Regulations requirement for a parking space is a minimum of 4800mm x 2400mm. Now compare that to a Ford Galaxy (darling of the school run) which is 4617mm long and 1810 wide (without mirrors). If Mum miraculously managed to park it right in the middle that would leave 92mm either end and 295mm either side - not much room to open a door... If you count the mirrors too (total 2412mm wide)you actually exceed the standard parking space width.

I often park my Cerbie across 2 supermarket spaces on purpose for 3 reasons. 1) The doors are too long and I can't get out, 2) Some daft person will bang their door into mine, 3) Someone will plonk their shopping on my roof, open their car, then drag the shopping off... seen it happen once & that was enough. Sorry, but I don't care. The Cerbie's hardly socially friendly anyway

[MikeE]

I had to leave my Tuscan in an underground carpark overnight in Arras last weekend (PH French trackday - where were you all?). I found a couple of spare adjacent spaces so parked the Tuscan diagonally. This avoids any door to bodywork contact and also the possiblity of any moronic frenchman accidentally selecting first and driving into the front of my car. Seemed to work OK. However in the morning we were trying to hitch a trailer (+Caterham) to the back of the Subaru tow car and this french guy tries to squeeze between the Subaru and parked cars - despite my protests that he wouldn't make it he just ploughs on, hits the wing mirror and folds it flat. Surprise surprise he just drives off (what an a@se-wipe). Mike

[.mark]

Pikey - some one did that to your cerbie??? Can you say here what you said/did to them. Bearing in mind some readers may be of a sensitive nature!

[Yank Tank]

"Merde" would I suppose have been my immediate reaction. Or less realistically "do you want a Prescott in the face??"

[andyr]

talking about mad drivers, how about this. I was being towed (in my TVR) by another car using a tow rope. We need to pull out onto busy Fulham Palace Rd. Loads of traffic all crawling nose to tail. Car towing me pulls out to turn right, then a driver tries to stop me pulling out by closing the gap! Drives right over the tow rope and snaps it leaving me in the middle of the road. Even tho i had hazard lights going and was waving like mad at him. Unbelievable

[.mark]

Question Andy, what kind of TVR do you drive and where did you attach the tow rope? My Chimaera was recovered the other week on to a slide-back lorry and the guy with the winch didn't know where to fix it. He actually turned round and said 'if I rip the grille off is it behind there?'. Needless to say I drove it on and had it collected by a specialist the very next day!

[Marshy]

There is what looks like a tow rope eye on one of the front crossmembers about (ummm) 18" under the front of the car, roughly in the middle. I only found it when the car was up on a ramp at TMS's open day. Of course, if you attach a rope here, it'll bugger the paintwork under the chin of the car something chronic.

[Graham and Rosie]

If you look underneath the front of your Chimaera, you should see a loop welded on to the chassis in front of the engine - for some reason it points towards the rear of the car though....well there was on my 98 4.0 anyway!! ================ Graham and Rosie