PHers Ten Commandments

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JMGS4

Original Poster:

8,756 posts

276 months

Tuesday 18th June 2002
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The Ten Commandments of the Pistonheaders


1. Thou shalt not hesitate at a breakdown but be mighty to assist your righteous PHfriend, for a Trevor bringeth not only pleasure but trials and tribulations; for though it is written that the meek shall inherit the earth, verily it is an erroneous attestation. The meek shall be clamped and towed away, but the self-righteous Lawgivers and their ilk shall be spared.

2. Thou shalt not speak profanely of the Law Enforcer, nor question the purity of his birth or his cranial content, nor revile nor refute him, even though he be blind to transgressions by devils of the other kind, and punishes them not.

3. Thou shalt not smite a Law Enforcer with a clenched fist, yeah, even in retaliation; for it is written that the Law Enforcer shall assuredly forgo the initial offence he comitteth, and punish the latter, as the latter is a tax payer and thus lawful prey. Believeth that what goeth around shall surely cometh, and verily, evil men will be found to be the last of the reincarnated.

4. Thou should not kiss thy Law Enforcer on the mouth when he propoundeth even though he be forgiving; for such is an abomination unto God, especially kisses in tongues, unless you play football with the round white ball and is thus expected.

5. Thou shalt not smite nor kick a numptie if thou be a driver of a veritable breed of car; for this is an abomination unto the Lawgiver and surely you will be detained at His pleasure, perhaps everlasting.

6. Thou shalt not cross the solid white line with accelerator depressed but runneth straight; for it is written that the solid line is for the protection of numpties.

7. Thou shalt not curse violently at women who are moving their many-oxened field carts in a waywardly fashion, nor bring vituperation on their heads while they are decorating their features; for they think they are the blessed of God and apart from any Law. May the Law forgive them, as they forgiveth us nor curseth us.

8. Thou shalt not take the Word of the Law in vain, for blessed is the Word of the Law. Instead, wonder at his mighty wisdom and abide to the Word of the Law, lest the Law acquaint you with his disciples lowest servants, or appoint His foot to your nether regions.

9. Thou shalt not cast aspertions onto the birthright nor education of the President of the Lawmakers, for verily he is a B.Liar, but mighty, and has numpties and doctors who rotate by his side.

10. Thou shalt not vomit nor spew vituperation on the Lawgivers for this is unmanly and they verily will do it rectally unto you.

AMEN

Just a couple of corrections, sorry! John.


>>> Edited by JMGS4 on Tuesday 18th June 09:19

mattjbatch

1,502 posts

277 months

Tuesday 18th June 2002
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plotloss

67,280 posts

276 months

Tuesday 18th June 2002
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Excellent!



Matt.

dan

1,068 posts

290 months

Tuesday 18th June 2002
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So True...

gtir

24,741 posts

272 months

Tuesday 18th June 2002
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I actually did "LOL", superb.

torqemada

168 posts

272 months

Tuesday 18th June 2002
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Fantastic!

anonymous-user

60 months

Tuesday 18th June 2002
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LOL!

Thou must also honour the gods:
Blessed be the god of oversteer, Villeneuve
Blessed be the god of lunacy, McRae

Thou must make regular pilgrimages to the promised lands of Brandeth Hatch and Noah's (Donnington P)ark,

ajvmoore

170 posts

285 months

Tuesday 18th June 2002
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I am slow on the uptake , I know but...
has anyone thought of an anagram of "B.Liar"? Luvditlots.

JSG

2,238 posts

289 months

Tuesday 18th June 2002
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Number 11

Thou shalt not expect sun at Chatsworth