getting married abroad?
Discussion
Looking at the option of getting married abroad, basically so i dont have to offend loads of people i dont like by not inviting them to a wedding at home.
So has anyone done it? pros and cons? any suggestions?
Probably wouldnt be looking at long haul as the parents wouldnt want long flights.
So has anyone done it? pros and cons? any suggestions?
Probably wouldnt be looking at long haul as the parents wouldnt want long flights.
I got married in Jamaica. It was amazing, 10 of us went in total, all stayed at different hotels so we had Time apart etc
Was no stress, got there, did the paperwork, married a week later then another couple of weeks in the sun then home.
I'd recommend it to anyone, no hassle, no stress and brilliant memories!!
Was no stress, got there, did the paperwork, married a week later then another couple of weeks in the sun then home.
I'd recommend it to anyone, no hassle, no stress and brilliant memories!!
SiL moved to New Zealand a few years ago and duly announced her engagement and suggested that it would be delightful for family and friends to attend this ideal wedding on the beach in NZ. We worked it out and would have cost 4 of us the best part of £8k and at least 10 days out of our life to make the trip and with a daughter two years from Uni, financially, not something we really wanted to do. My BiL has 4 kids including two under 5 so practically difficult and even more expensive.
When she realised that neither friends or family were likely be able to attend, they suggested somewhere half way and were put out by the fact that again, very few thought this a splendid idea other than the happy couple.
Caused a fair bit of strife in a family otherwise totally devoid of such ill feeling - quite the opposite actually.
They are now getting married in Essex.
Ultimately, it is entirely up to you. It's your day after all. but you need to be aware that many family and friends will feel obliged to attend and may not be able to afford to or have to abandon other holiday plans to accommodate you.
When she realised that neither friends or family were likely be able to attend, they suggested somewhere half way and were put out by the fact that again, very few thought this a splendid idea other than the happy couple.
Caused a fair bit of strife in a family otherwise totally devoid of such ill feeling - quite the opposite actually.
They are now getting married in Essex.
Ultimately, it is entirely up to you. It's your day after all. but you need to be aware that many family and friends will feel obliged to attend and may not be able to afford to or have to abandon other holiday plans to accommodate you.
My brother married a girl who was an only child and really had no close family apart from her mother (her father had died) and she had only a couple of very close friends. So it made sense to her to insist they got married abroad but our Dad was too ill to travel so Mum wouldn't go either and none of the rest of us felt motivated to go either.
I'd have done it if I could have afforded to pay for everyone to come with me. That said I divorced once so a second attempt could have worked out very expensive
Never seen the point in very expensive weddings myself, to many end up in divorce and after all it only one day in your life , a very important one I admit but only 24 hrs. Cheap wedding expensive honeymoon , none of your guests will give a toss I promise.
Never seen the point in very expensive weddings myself, to many end up in divorce and after all it only one day in your life , a very important one I admit but only 24 hrs. Cheap wedding expensive honeymoon , none of your guests will give a toss I promise.
Deva Link said:
sone said:
Never seen the point in very expensive weddings myself, to many end up in divorce and after all it only one day in your life...
I tried to tell my daughters that - unfortunately they wouldn't listen. 
if you want all your friends and family at your wedding - do it in the Uk. Otherwise its unfair on them to be expected to spend $$ travelling to where ever you fancy.
I was living in France, but had the wedding in the Uk as the location was the last thing I cared about - I just wanted to be surrounded by all my friends and family and marry the lady of my life.
edited to add we did actually also get legally married on France at the Marie. It was an ok day but not a patch on the Uk one.
I was living in France, but had the wedding in the Uk as the location was the last thing I cared about - I just wanted to be surrounded by all my friends and family and marry the lady of my life.
edited to add we did actually also get legally married on France at the Marie. It was an ok day but not a patch on the Uk one.
bosshog said:
if you want all your friends and family at your wedding - do it in the Uk.
This.A new relatively new phenomena seems to be getting married abroad then coming home and having an evening function (fine IMO) but others come back have a mock ceremony/blessing then proceed to have pretty much a second wedding. Can’t get my head around why people do this. Friends recently got married in the Caribbean then came back and had what I’d call an evening reception in a fancy hotel. I found it really odd, they’d been married for a fortnight she had her dress on, as did the bridesmaids etc. Won’t have been cheap and I think deep down they regret only having their immediate family with them for the ‘actual wedding.’
It horses for courses really, it’s something that did appeal to me but not my now Mrs. The main bonuses to me are it takes allot of the planning and therefore stress out of it, and should be allot cheaper assuming it’s small and/or you’re not paying for everyone’s flights and accommodation.
ED209 said:
Looking at the option of getting married abroad, basically so i dont have to offend loads of people i dont like by not inviting them to a wedding at home.
So has anyone done it? pros and cons? any suggestions?
Probably wouldnt be looking at long haul as the parents wouldnt want long flights.
Got married in Vegas, it was awesome, quite a few people came and made it their holiday as well. When booking I would recommend you speak to Kuoni, they arranged everything, including Elvis. We invited all of the relatives.So has anyone done it? pros and cons? any suggestions?
Probably wouldnt be looking at long haul as the parents wouldnt want long flights.
a311 said:
This.
A new relatively new phenomena seems to be getting married abroad then coming home and having an evening function (fine IMO) but others come back have a mock ceremony/blessing then proceed to have pretty much a second wedding. Can’t get my head around why people do this. Friends recently got married in the Caribbean then came back and had what I’d call an evening reception in a fancy hotel. I found it really odd, they’d been married for a fortnight she had her dress on, as did the bridesmaids etc. Won’t have been cheap and I think deep down they regret only having their immediate family with them for the ‘actual wedding.’
It horses for courses really, it’s something that did appeal to me but not my now Mrs. The main bonuses to me are it takes allot of the planning and therefore stress out of it, and should be allot cheaper assuming it’s small and/or you’re not paying for everyone’s flights and accommodation.
Friends of mine did this. They blew the best part of £20k, getting married somewhere in Italy. Very few people went, so they had a additional 'reception' at a poncy hotel back here.A new relatively new phenomena seems to be getting married abroad then coming home and having an evening function (fine IMO) but others come back have a mock ceremony/blessing then proceed to have pretty much a second wedding. Can’t get my head around why people do this. Friends recently got married in the Caribbean then came back and had what I’d call an evening reception in a fancy hotel. I found it really odd, they’d been married for a fortnight she had her dress on, as did the bridesmaids etc. Won’t have been cheap and I think deep down they regret only having their immediate family with them for the ‘actual wedding.’
It horses for courses really, it’s something that did appeal to me but not my now Mrs. The main bonuses to me are it takes allot of the planning and therefore stress out of it, and should be allot cheaper assuming it’s small and/or you’re not paying for everyone’s flights and accommodation.
Their marriage lasted 6 months.
I think getting married abroad is fine if you want to be the only ones present but very selfish if you expect everyone else to stump up the time and money to attend.
To me, getting married is about making a pledge to eachother in front of your friends and family. If they're not there, what's the point?
Anyway, what do I know - I'm getting divorced after 8 years so it didn't work for me either. At least I honoured the pledges I made in front of everyone.
kooky guy said:
I think getting married abroad is fine if you want to be the only ones present but very selfish if you expect everyone else to stump up the time and money to attend.
If you haven't got any close family or you all hate each other, then it's fair enough.But don't underestimate how disappointed family will be if they can't go. My parents were very miffed to have been "excluded" from going to my brother's wedding. And when one of my daughters half-heartedly floated the idea, her grandparents (my inlaws) made it quite clear that they would not be at all happy.
You might think it's "your" day, but there's a lot more to it than that.
We were looking at getting married in Italy on a skiing holiday with a select band of friends and family (quite difficult to do in France for reasons I can't remember.) Looked very feasible and we were well up for it at the time until we realised how many people wouldn't be able to come.
LuS1fer said:
kooky guy said:
Anyway, what do I know - I'm getting divorced after 8 years so it didn't work for me either. At least I honoured the pledges I made in front of everyone.
What part of "for better, for worse, till death us do part" did you not understand then?Or did you kill her?
My #1 piece of advice would be do what makes both of YOU happy, and not for anyone else.
We had a very simple thing for immediate family and some close friends planned for last month. This was near where her family live on the east coast US so they wouldn't have to travel - they had moaned at all the places we wanted to do it overseas, either the cost for them, or they didn't like the locations, the length of the flights, or whatever. This was complicated slightly by each of our respective sets of parents living a long haul away from us, so basically there was going to be travel involved for someone, or for everyone.
Despite us planning it to accommodate them in the main, her family were driving us potty and constantly interfering with what we were striving to keep very simple and low key, so after repeated warnings to back off, we told them we had postponed it.
A few days later we went on vacation to california, and got married on a beach in malibu- just the two of us.
No witness needed-thanks to a certain type of license in CA-, officiant cost $300, photographer $400, and license & filing fees were $200.
No regrets whatsoever.
We have better photos, which we have sent to everyone we care about, had a vacation-moon around it, and the whole thing was totally relaxed and unpressured.
It took 2 phone calls & a couple of emails to arrange, less than 48hrs in advance.
Best decision we have ever made.
We had a very simple thing for immediate family and some close friends planned for last month. This was near where her family live on the east coast US so they wouldn't have to travel - they had moaned at all the places we wanted to do it overseas, either the cost for them, or they didn't like the locations, the length of the flights, or whatever. This was complicated slightly by each of our respective sets of parents living a long haul away from us, so basically there was going to be travel involved for someone, or for everyone.
Despite us planning it to accommodate them in the main, her family were driving us potty and constantly interfering with what we were striving to keep very simple and low key, so after repeated warnings to back off, we told them we had postponed it.
A few days later we went on vacation to california, and got married on a beach in malibu- just the two of us.
No witness needed-thanks to a certain type of license in CA-, officiant cost $300, photographer $400, and license & filing fees were $200.
No regrets whatsoever.
We have better photos, which we have sent to everyone we care about, had a vacation-moon around it, and the whole thing was totally relaxed and unpressured.
It took 2 phone calls & a couple of emails to arrange, less than 48hrs in advance.
Best decision we have ever made.
Edited by GCH on Tuesday 17th July 15:06
My OH and I always knew we wanted to get married abroad. The thought of blowing £20k on a UK wedding where it might rain, to feed a load of people we didn't know, in a church we don't go to or a ratty venue just didn't compute.
We originally looked at Hawaii/Caribbean or similar - just the two of us. This was fine in principle, but we quickly concluded that we both wanted our parents there when we got married.
This complicated things as
A) my parents are divorced and, whilst civil to each other, would not enjoy each other's company for a whole day/holiday.
B) We wanted to honeymoon alone and you can't realistically ask somebody (parents) to fly out long-haul for a couple of days then go away again so you can be on your tod.
To this end, we hatched the following plan:
Get married in Cyprus
Invite parents, siblings, our two uncles and aunts, my mate (best man) and his wife (maid of honour) 14 people in total.
Everyone paid for themselves. Being a couple of hours flight away, we told everyone they could join us for a week and make a holiday of it (which some did) or a few days (which others did)
The OH and I then packed off to another hotel for a week's 'honeymoon' whilst everyone else went home.
We used a travel planner, recommended by a friend. She was excellent, we chose a beautiful venue, the people on site were awesome and we had a great day. Having wedding snaps in 45 degree heat was....hot
Having the family around for a week was brilliant and then a week alone was perfect.
Overall, wouldn't change a thing. And we did it for less than 5 figures**.
We originally looked at Hawaii/Caribbean or similar - just the two of us. This was fine in principle, but we quickly concluded that we both wanted our parents there when we got married.
This complicated things as
A) my parents are divorced and, whilst civil to each other, would not enjoy each other's company for a whole day/holiday.
B) We wanted to honeymoon alone and you can't realistically ask somebody (parents) to fly out long-haul for a couple of days then go away again so you can be on your tod.
To this end, we hatched the following plan:
Get married in Cyprus
Invite parents, siblings, our two uncles and aunts, my mate (best man) and his wife (maid of honour) 14 people in total.
Everyone paid for themselves. Being a couple of hours flight away, we told everyone they could join us for a week and make a holiday of it (which some did) or a few days (which others did)
The OH and I then packed off to another hotel for a week's 'honeymoon' whilst everyone else went home.
We used a travel planner, recommended by a friend. She was excellent, we chose a beautiful venue, the people on site were awesome and we had a great day. Having wedding snaps in 45 degree heat was....hot
Having the family around for a week was brilliant and then a week alone was perfect.
Overall, wouldn't change a thing. And we did it for less than 5 figures**.
- ETA - including a wedding "reception" back home a few months later for those who couldn't go/weren't invited to the actual wedding.
Edited by Muzzer79 on Tuesday 17th July 15:09
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