The Mrs. has left me...

[don4l]

... and I'm bloody starving.

Now, I could easily cook for myself but... she is going to be back in an hour.

If I cook anything, then I know that I am going to do it wrong. I'll use the wrong bloody saucepan (I did scrambled eggs in a stainless steel saucepan once ), or I will get some splashes of oil on the cooker or, Heaven forbid, I might even leave the kitchen smelling of food.

Any tips gratefully recieved. All I've eaten today is a sandwich... and that was over 8 hours ago.

Don
--

[Zwoelf]

Block of cheese, pack of crackers. Job done.

[Johnnytheboy]

Toast is a flexible meal base.

[oa]

Dominos iphone app: for this exact purpose.

[CarTimeNow]

ok, google your local pizza/chinese/indian which delivers, dial, order, enjoy

[Stevenj214]

Pub for an hour and a half until she is home and preparing your meal. If she decides to be a 'modern woman' and refuse, eat in the pub.

[BliarOut]

Bowl of cereal is your safest bet...

[vladcjelli]

Cereal will have to do I reckon.

Nice big bowl of crunchy nonsense.

Then ring for a takeaway, as you will need something to take the nasty taste away.

[LooneyTunes]

Kebab. In the living room.

That'll learn her.

[Jasandjules]

Step 1. Yell.com
Step 2. Search for Chinese Takeaways local to you
Step 3. Order meal
Step 4. Eat
Step 5. Dispose of the evidence in the bin.


OR, just grow a pair, cook some dinner. Clean up after yourself and be done with it.

[Zwoelf]

Jasandjules said:

OR, just grow a pair, cook some dinner. Clean up after yourself and be done with it.

I fear that would set a dangerous precedent in this instance.

[vladcjelli]

Zwoelf said:

Jasandjules said:

OR, just grow a pair, cook some dinner. Clean up after yourself and be done with it.

I fear that would set a dangerous precedent in this instance.

Definitely avoid this.

Do something extravagant and messy, then when she gets back and asks, "WTF?" you can turn to her and calmly say, "This is what happens when you leave me to fend for myself".

Edited by vladcjelli on Monday 22 August 21:30

[Jw Vw]

Zwoelf said:

Jasandjules said:

OR, just grow a pair, cook some dinner. Clean up after yourself and be done with it.

I fear that would set a dangerous precedent in this instance.

[don4l]

Well, the first two answers were excellent. I haven't had cheese on toast in years.


Unfortunately the kitchen [runs off to make sure that cheese isn't burning] now smells of burnt toast.

Anyway, I am now back from the kitchen with my two slices. I am absolutely wolfing it down as I type this post.

Well done PH. Another relationship problem solved.



Don
--

[Cotty]

don4l said:

or I will get some splashes of oil on the cooker or, Heaven forbid, I might even leave the kitchen smelling of food.

You want to eat but you don't want your OH knowing your had something to eat? Very odd.

In other news I need to turn a big mound of salt and pepper chicken wings

[PaulHogan]

Don't eat! Go and knock one out into her underwear drawer instead.

[Jw Vw]

PaulHogan said:

Don't eat! Go and knock one out into her underwear drawer instead.

Classy.

[NDA]

Try one of the major food groups like Pot Noodle or Jaffa Cakes.

[ShiggyBiggs]

What is wrong with scrambled eggs in a stainless pan?

[don4l]

Jasandjules said:

Clean up after yourself and be done with it.

What?

No good could come of this ridiculous suggestion.

There are only two possible outcomes.

1)She takes great insult that I have stepped into her territory...

2)She realises that I can clean up...

Both of these scenarios look more than a wee bit unattractive.


You don't use "Nivea for Men", do you? I have great admiration for the marketing person who realised that all the metrosexuals would buy a female product if they simply put "for Men" on the label.

Don
--