The Philosophy of Homer (Simpson)

[CarZee]

Sometimes you just can't argue with the guy's logic:

"There's nothing wrong with crabgrass, it just has a bad name, that's all. Everyone would love it if it had a cute name, like...elfgrass."

[anonymous-user]

"if something is hard to do, its not worth doing"
another H.J Simpson favourite!

[gtir]

"Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer. "

[mattjbatch]

"Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."

[apache]

"working is a mugs game"

[Terminator]

"Marge, why are you crying? You're not in any physical pain, the only pain a man can understand."

[SimonElmy]

Well Boy, you've tried and failed,
The moral is .. Never try

[Stig]

"Thrrrp... yeah Lisa - beer kills brain cells. Now, lets got back to that place, where our beds and TV is"

[mattjbatch]

"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers..."

[Cotty]

Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

So true

[steve harrison]

"I want to share somehing with you - the three little sentences that will get you through life. Number one 'Cover for me.' Number two, 'Oh, good idea boss.' Number three, 'It was like that when I got here'"

and

"Well, you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press theright button"

[gtir]

quote:
"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers..."

and here they are:

Announcer : "17"
Homer : "D'OH!"
Announcer : "32"
Homer : "D'OH!"
Announcer : "5"
Homer : "D'OH!"
Announcer : "8"
Homer : "WOOHOO!"
Announcer : "47"
Homer : "D'OH!"

[mattjbatch]

"Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!"

[mattjbatch]

"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, its that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling foxy boxy and such and such..."

[Cotty]

Im changing my answerphone to this Homer quote
-----------------------------------
Homer's Answering Machine - "Hello. You've reached the home of who ever you are calling. We can't your call right now because we're at Moe's Tavern with a frosty mug of Duff beer. Mmm…Duff. Please leave a message at the beep and we'll call you back if there isn't a good wrestling match on TV. Beep. D'oh!"
------------------------------------

There are tons of quotes on http://pearly1000.tripod.com/homer/homer.html

[mattjbatch]

"You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?"

[DIGGA]

Homer : "Mmmm, I love these lazy Sunday mornings"

Marge : "But it's Monday!"

Homer : "DOHH!!"

[nmlowe]

Hmmmmm.... "If its hard, its not worth doing"
Sounds like a 'Tree hugger' motto to me!

[ZZR600]

Homer on speeding .
Sure the 55mph limit will save a few lives , But millions will be late

[muley]

On being discovered in the wrong (again)...

'But Marge, I swear to you, I thought you'd NEVER find out'