First phone for 11yo
Discussion
Looking to get our daughter her first phone. Please park all comments about she doesn’t need one until she’s 16, etc 
Looking at iPhones as we are, for better or for worse, an iPhone family.
Second hand - she is very careful but it will probably get dropped or nicked at some stage, so £250 price point.
Ideally something which has at least a couple of years of updates in it. Will probably be used mostly for messaging, YouTube, photos and games.
I’ve been looking at iPhone SE (2) from 2020, the 128gb version. 64 seems small for games and photos etc. iPhone 11 is much more expensive (64gb is similar price to 64gb SE, but bump it to 128gb and it’s an extra £100.)
£240 for a pristine one from musicmagpie (used them for my 12 pro max). Any reason I shouldn’t?
Looking at iPhones as we are, for better or for worse, an iPhone family.
Second hand - she is very careful but it will probably get dropped or nicked at some stage, so £250 price point.
Ideally something which has at least a couple of years of updates in it. Will probably be used mostly for messaging, YouTube, photos and games.
I’ve been looking at iPhone SE (2) from 2020, the 128gb version. 64 seems small for games and photos etc. iPhone 11 is much more expensive (64gb is similar price to 64gb SE, but bump it to 128gb and it’s an extra £100.)
£240 for a pristine one from musicmagpie (used them for my 12 pro max). Any reason I shouldn’t?
Nicecupoftea
I know you outlined you were an ‘apple’ family… but
Have a look on Human Mobile Devices hmd.com
They bought back the Nokia business from Microsoft.
You will see delightfully retro old phones, but some quite nice ideas of modern phones with smart features e.g. limited apps WhatsApp, you tube, maps etc
Very reasonable priced. Could be a good starter option….graduating to the social complexities of iPhone when she’s a little older?
I know you outlined you were an ‘apple’ family… but
Have a look on Human Mobile Devices hmd.com
They bought back the Nokia business from Microsoft.
You will see delightfully retro old phones, but some quite nice ideas of modern phones with smart features e.g. limited apps WhatsApp, you tube, maps etc
Very reasonable priced. Could be a good starter option….graduating to the social complexities of iPhone when she’s a little older?
As long as you can apply parental controls to it, the exact type isn't that important.
So if your on android make sure to get Google family link set up, I think apple have a Family Sharing thing that's similar?
Make sure they don't have access to Snapchat, X, Tiktok, insta etc ...they are poision for kids and the route of all bullying and general malaise.
As much as we all appreciate what SmartPhone do for us nowadays they are bad for very young and developing minds.
So if your on android make sure to get Google family link set up, I think apple have a Family Sharing thing that's similar?
Make sure they don't have access to Snapchat, X, Tiktok, insta etc ...they are poision for kids and the route of all bullying and general malaise.
As much as we all appreciate what SmartPhone do for us nowadays they are bad for very young and developing minds.
dave_s13 said:
Make sure they don't have access to Snapchat, X, Tiktok, insta etc ...they are poision for kids and the route of all bullying and general malaise.
As much as we all appreciate what SmartPhone do for us nowadays they are bad for very young and developing minds.
The link between smartphone use and poor mental health outcomes with preteens is now well researched and considered proven. Similarly bullying. As much as we all appreciate what SmartPhone do for us nowadays they are bad for very young and developing minds.
Edited by popeyewhite on Sunday 24th March 12:14
Rest assured it will be locked down tighter than a nun’s chuff. Will be monitored and using Apple family sharing etc. she’s a good kid and self censors - for example if somebody swears in a vid she is watching she stops it and deletes it from history 
I know parents can be a bit blind to their kids’ faults but we both work in education so are fairly wise to most of it. Would prefer to avoid WhatsApp but unfortunately her secondary school next year use it for class groups etc. so she’ll need to be on it.
Prefer to stick with Apple for location/app sharing etc.
Still Mulling, what size did you go for, 64 or 128?
Popeyewhite: when you talk about pre teen mental health, are you referring to potential bullying issues/inappropriate content, or the potential to have their heads buried in it 24/7? Obviously we will be setting screen time limits and monitoring conversations/history (with her knowledge as a prior condition of her getting a phone)
I know parents can be a bit blind to their kids’ faults but we both work in education so are fairly wise to most of it. Would prefer to avoid WhatsApp but unfortunately her secondary school next year use it for class groups etc. so she’ll need to be on it.Prefer to stick with Apple for location/app sharing etc.
Still Mulling, what size did you go for, 64 or 128?
Popeyewhite: when you talk about pre teen mental health, are you referring to potential bullying issues/inappropriate content, or the potential to have their heads buried in it 24/7? Obviously we will be setting screen time limits and monitoring conversations/history (with her knowledge as a prior condition of her getting a phone)
NiceCupOfTea said:
Popeyewhite: when you talk about pre teen mental health, are you referring to potential bullying issues/inappropriate content, or the potential to have their heads buried in it 24/7? Obviously we will be setting screen time limits and monitoring conversations/history (with her knowledge as a prior condition of her getting a phone)
Danger of overuse, lack of learning through 'normal' childplay: through this lack of resilience. Lack of socialisation. On top of that the other dangers - bullying, exposure to adult themes etc etc
NiceCupOfTea said:
Rest assured it will be locked down tighter than a nun’s chuff.
Oh they are devious buggers though (10yos, not nuns). My daughter was 9 when she figured out how to download a different browser to her gaming PC to circumvent the website blocks I'd put on her Windows account (only works with Edge apparently), oh, and how to extend the time limits set on her device after stealing my password and clicking the 'parent is present' option. Also, removing the YouTube app from iOS doesn't prevent them from watching YouTube via a browser either. And there seems to be no way to exclude explicit content from Apple Music family account either. Another problem we've seen is other kids adding our kids to age-inappropriate WhatsApp chats, so that's an area which needs close policing too. Also, their phones & iPads go on charge outside of bedrooms in the evenings.Both our children (10 & 12) have our old iPhones & iPads, and it has been a lot harder to limit their use than I expected, even with them set up with children's accounts with Apple. We have zero tolerance for inappropriate viewing, and neither of them have any sort of social media accounts or access. Phones are regularly confiscated. It is a mine field for parents, and ultimately it is up to us to explain the dangers, as well as just limit their access.
LimaDelta said:
Oh they are devious buggers though (10yos, not nuns). My daughter was 9 when she figured out how to download a different browser to her gaming PC to circumvent the website blocks I'd put on her Windows account (only works with Edge apparently), oh, and how to extend the time limits set on her device after stealing my password and clicking the 'parent is present' option. Also, removing the YouTube app from iOS doesn't prevent them from watching YouTube via a browser either. And there seems to be no way to exclude explicit content from Apple Music family account either. Another problem we've seen is other kids adding our kids to age-inappropriate WhatsApp chats, so that's an area which needs close policing too. Also, their phones & iPads go on charge outside of bedrooms in the evenings.
Both our children (10 & 12) have our old iPhones & iPads, and it has been a lot harder to limit their use than I expected, even with them set up with children's accounts with Apple. We have zero tolerance for inappropriate viewing, and neither of them have any sort of social media accounts or access. Phones are regularly confiscated. It is a mine field for parents, and ultimately it is up to us to explain the dangers, as well as just limit their access.
Agreed - which is why we have gone down the Nokia 8210 route. Calls and texts only, no ability to install social media/messaging apps.Both our children (10 & 12) have our old iPhones & iPads, and it has been a lot harder to limit their use than I expected, even with them set up with children's accounts with Apple. We have zero tolerance for inappropriate viewing, and neither of them have any sort of social media accounts or access. Phones are regularly confiscated. It is a mine field for parents, and ultimately it is up to us to explain the dangers, as well as just limit their access.
GlenMH said:
Agreed - which is why we have gone down the Nokia 8210 route. Calls and texts only, no ability to install social media/messaging apps.
I absolutely understand and get this but you’re also making your kids social pariahs by doing this, giving the unpleasant kids great ammunition to levy at them. You’d be better off having them have zero phones rather than really shonky ones like feature phones based on the interactions I see at my daughters school (primary)
NiceCupOfTea said:
I know parents can be a bit blind to their kids’ faults but we both work in education so are fairly wise to most of it. Would prefer to avoid WhatsApp but unfortunately her secondary school next year use it for class groups etc. so she’ll need to be on it.
If her school are mandating the use of WhatsApp then someone needs to have a chat as the WhatsApp policy is 16+...vaud said:
Still Mulling said:
It’s unlikely to be the school. It’s the most widely used cross-platform messaging app.
It was unclear. I know lots of kids use it outside of school, even in KS2.CheesecakeRunner said:
LimaDelta said:
And there seems to be no way to exclude explicit content from Apple Music family account either.
It’s in Screen Time settings. Content and Privacy Restrictions -> Content Restrictions -> Allowed Store Content
I’ve tested this with my kids Apple Music family account.
CheesecakeRunner said:
LimaDelta said:
Also, removing the YouTube app from iOS doesn't prevent them from watching YouTube via a browser either.
Also in Screen Time. Set it to ‘Allowed Websites only’ so they need to request access via Screen Time, or “Limited Adult Websites” which also allows you to specify a block list onto which you can put YouTube domains. 
CheesecakeRunner said:
LimaDelta said:
Yeah, that didn't work when I tried it. It turns on, but makes no difference to the songs available to play.
I checked on my daughter’s iPad, and any songs flagged as ‘Explicit’ are grayed out and she can’t select them. Out of interest, is yours a family shared Apple Music subscription, or does she have her own personal one?
CheesecakeRunner said:
LimaDelta said:
Strange one that. I'll have to check again next time I'm home, but it was fairly obvious where to turn it on, it just didn't make any difference within Apple Music.
Out of interest, is yours a family shared Apple Music subscription, or does she have her own personal one?
Family sub. Each kid has their own AppleID which is used to sign in to their devices. Out of interest, is yours a family shared Apple Music subscription, or does she have her own personal one?
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