"I'd look much better driving that car than you"..

[AllTorque]

...was the sound I heard emanating from some guy on the streets of Leamington this evening. He then stumbled into the local pub with his fat girlfriend. Only then did I think of saying "Fcuk off!"

[Ballistic Banana]

Yeah But he wasnt so Firk Him. Jealous asshole.
Some young guy pulled up next to me in some moded Honda somethingorother. Was quitely surprised when i looked over at him and he Gave a respecting Yes Nod RESPEK TO IM

BB

[rude girl]

Answer:

'But you're not, are you? Enjoy your evening mate'

(from the girls' book of smartarse answers to jealous lowlifes, available at all good bookshops)

[JonRB]

Didn't one of our esteemed Ferrari-owning PistonHeaders once tell the anecdote of someone shouting "WANKER" at him, to which he replied "yes, but I'm a w*nker driving a Ferrari".

[joolzb]

Well the way I see it is like this. There's no point bringing his innocent girlfriend into the equasion by calling her fat. Ok so she may be fat, may have some kindda gland problem or may just eat so very little over the top. Alternatively you could've said that you're going to enjoy your ride much more than his tonight. Then punch him in the neck and proceed to scarper, make sure your car hasn't been running for a long time and the starters got stuck or you maybe in trouble. Also make sure you haven't hurt your hand and can't hold the immobilisor key.

[PetrolTed]

I don't think we need to advocate violance or verbal abuse. A simple smile would suffice

[joolzb]

I'm sorry Petrol, you're quite correct. I don't know what came over me, it must be some kindda side effect of them 1664's I had last night. Ok, so why not just hand him your keys, explain the instrument panel to him so he won't be struggling and crash it, then watch him drive off in to the distance with his girl friend. You'd have to explain that the car would prob not achieve the acclaimed 0-60 of 4.1 secs due to the fact that his bird is a bit of a heffer.

[Apache]

I was driving through Cambridge with Mrs Apache on a summery saturday evening, we drove past the Rat and Parrot and some young lad said "crap car mate" we just looked at each other and laughed

[joolzb]

Do you normally laugh when you look at each other? .

One night I had stopped outside a KFC, a bloke came out with his kid and asked if it was a Griff 500 as his son loved them. In conversation he found out that my everyday car was a aaahmmmmmm Corsa. He then went back inside and told everyone that I normally drove a Corsa and they all creased up in laughter.

[AllTorque]

joolzb said:

I'm sorry Petrol, you're quite correct. I don't know what came over me, it must be some kindda side effect of them 1664's I had last night. Ok, so why not just hand him your keys, explain the instrument panel to him so he won't be struggling and crash it, then watch him drive off in to the distance with his girl friend. You'd have to explain that the car would prob not achieve the acclaimed 0-60 of 4.1 secs due to the fact that his bird is a bit of a heffer.

. Have to say when I wrote this in an inebriated state last night, I did think it was slightly naughty bringing his horizontally challenged, bulbous hefferlump girlfriend into the equation. Now I don't!

Good answers everyone!

[joolzb]

Having said all that, do you have a better descrption than that, it sounds very much like my bird was doing the dirty on me, sure she mentioned Leamington!