BMW 530i
Robert Farago gets behind the wheel of BM's three litre saloon - a tale of the good, the bad and the ugly?
There’s a sticker in the new BMW 5-Series that tells you everything you need to know about the mid-sized motorcar. This permanent post-it, affixed just beneath the infamous iDrive controller, has a tiny arrow pointing left and the words “Climate, Air Dist. and Vent Temp”.
Before iDrive, BMW drivers adjusted the vent temperature with a small wheel between the vents. This easy-to-use function was originally created and sold as a safety feature; cold air on a driver’s face aids alertness. With the new 5-Series, not only do you have to be computer literate to cool your fevered brow, but you have to take your eyes off the road to do it.
First, you push the iDrive controller down to release BMW from corporate liability. Then you nudge the controller left to select “Climate”. A hieroglyphic appears. Twist the knob for the correct function, press it, twist it, look up to avoid oncoming traffic, look down, press the iDrive mouse again and… I think I’ve made my point. Which is simply this: BMW’s new 5-Series is a deeply conflicted automobile. It still aspires to be “the ultimate driving machine”, but it no longer knows how.
Conflict of Interests
There are signs of struggle are obvious from first glance. Much has been said about the strange “bustle” protruding from the 5’s trunk lid. But focusing on this jarring detail ignores the wider conflict. Designer Chris Bangle has tried to graft sporting intent onto a deeply conservative, highly evolved shape. It doesn’t work. His “flame surfacing” (a pretentious phrase for a wild amalgamation of swage lines, creases and indentations) is the art student’s equivalent of a tuner’s macho side skirts and spoilers.
Sure, the 5-Series now looks aggressive and interesting, but it doesn’t look right. There’s simply too much going on, too much needless affectation, from the car’s curiously feline headlights to its bulbous bum. Bangle’s quest for sporting modernity is neither true to the brand nor attractive in and of itself. As strange as it sounds, the new Acura TL, a 5-Series knock off, does it better.
I would love to say that the car’s driving dynamics make up for these deficiencies. Unfortunately, the test car came with Dunlop SP Sport 01 DSST tires and BMW’s new-style variable-assist power steering. The former are 18” run-flat tires while the latter electronically alters the steering ratio according to your speed. The combination produced such vicious tram lining I thought the tires were worn out. They weren’t, but I was, fighting a never-ending battle to keep the car pointed in a straight line.
Good Sport?
I realize the gravity of that statement. Accusing a BMW sports sedan of darting around like a skittish horse is like calling a Rolls Royce cheap and cheerful. So I stopped by my local BMW dealer to test drive a 530i with “normal” steering and tires. The bread-and-butter alternative offered suitably meaty steering feel and perfect straight line stability. Great, but since when does BMW sell a sports package that degrades the base model’s ride and handling?
About the same time they decided to sell a car with a manual gearbox that’s both rubbery and notchy. BMW claims the 530i’s six-speed has a “precise athletic feel”. Sure, and championship wrestling is “superb athletic competition”.
Poise
Don’t get me wrong. Somewhere underneath this farrago is one Hell of an automobile. The 530i Sport corners with minimal body roll and exemplary poise. Its 225hp powerplant is a bit sluggish at low revs, but once it crests 2500rpms the double-VANOS system kicks in and away you go. The silky smooth in-line six has enough grunt to propel the 3461 lbs. mid-size sedan to 60mph in a fraction under seven seconds whilst achieve 30 highway miles per (US) gallon of dead dinosaur (credit the overdrive sixth gear).
I have no doubt that the 530i Sport would offer something akin to a rewarding driving experience if it came equipped with some proper sports tires, an automatic gearbox and standard-issue rack-and-pinion steering. Of course, that would still leave the stupefying iDrive and flame-broiled design. And the fact that the switch that raises and lowers the rear window shade is now on the driver’s door, while the central door lock button has moved to the center of the dash. Amongst other things.
Anyway, you may have guessed by now that I’m not a great fan of the new 5-Series. Still, I’m willing to re-consider my position once Beemer’s bad boy M-division lowers a 500hp V10 into the 5’s engine bay. As any muscle car owner will tell you, massive acceleration can cover a multitude of sins. Even then, I’ll still be worrying about this brand.
Unless and until the Boys from Bavaria get back to basics, its future is in jeopardy. Creating understated cars that stay true to the company’s driver-focused creed is BMW’s ultimate challenge.
Links : BMW Links
Copyright © Robert Farago 2004
With a lot of other manufacturers (TVR/Ford/Honda for example), if they make a crap car they just don't sell in any numbers.
I fear that the same is not true of BMW. It is the standard Management Statement, you have your Dell Axim PDA with Wireless, a mobile phone that is back to being as large as the bricks we were trying to get away from a few years ago, and a beemer 5 series. Isn't that how it works?
Just me then.......
Yes, it would indeed appear that Sh*t is the new Good...
There is a similar thread on the emotion that Bangle's styling creates under the review of the 1-series. One of the views there was that it probably will sell a lot, in much the same way that ugly rich men always have nice girlfriends; but wouldn't they get more interest if they looked good as well?
the active steering is under responsive at speed, exacerbated by a need for significant correction to counter the run-flats' tramlining.
sln:
try a 530 with neither. problem solved
idrive confusing?
practice. They've specifically put the control in a place where you shouldn't be looking at it, it ought to be something that you use to correlate hand motion with indication on the screen. I agree that genius ergonomics are a better solution, but I've really got to observe idrive firsthand before I'm going to agree with anyone that it's anywhere near as bad as everyone suggests.
the low weight is enough to allow the 530 to move in a way the previous one couldn't 0-60 in under 7? try THAT with the prev gen '30.
I'm pretty sure that there are lots of tire and wheel options for the aftermarket consumer, and last I checked, BMW offered an automatic for it too. Which means that every problem you listed can be fixed by careful shopping. Honest but narrow minded review. I love the new 530, and if I had the cash for one, I'd have one.
madasahatter said:
While I agree in part with this article (without havin driven the car, you understand), am I alone in thinking that BMW will sell ship loads of these cars just because of the badge on the front?
I'm not sure this will be the case. When the e39 was launched, within a few weeks there were lots on the roads and the e34 looked dated almost instantly. This just hasn't happened with the new 5.
On another issue raised by the article, I had grave concerns about variable steering when I first read about it. What I want from any set on controls in a car is linearity of response, this applies to brakes, throttle, and above all , steering. I do not want to be second guessed by an engineer in Germany.
danmangt40 said:
well, I don't know how to explain it, but I really like the 5 series. I hate the way the taillights wrap around, and I think the trunk is only a little too high, but otherwise I see a genuinely fresh, interesting looking car. And what did farago really learn from driving the car?
the active steering is under responsive at speed, exacerbated by a need for significant correction to counter the run-flats' tramlining.
sln:
try a 530 with neither. problem solved
idrive confusing?
practice. They've specifically put the control in a place where you shouldn't be looking at it, it ought to be something that you use to correlate hand motion with indication on the screen. I agree that genius ergonomics are a better solution, but I've really got to observe idrive firsthand before I'm going to agree with anyone that it's anywhere near as bad as everyone suggests.
the low weight is enough to allow the 530 to move in a way the previous one couldn't 0-60 in under 7? try THAT with the prev gen '30.
I'm pretty sure that there are lots of tire and wheel options for the aftermarket consumer, and last I checked, BMW offered an automatic for it too. Which means that every problem you listed can be fixed by careful shopping. Honest but narrow minded review. I love the new 530, and if I had the cash for one, I'd have one.
couldn't agree more, I like it too, I have seen quite a few on the roads and think they look good
ILikeBristols said:
Yes, it would indeed appear that Sh*t is the new Good...
There is a similar thread on the emotion that Bangle's styling creates under the review of the 1-series. One of the views there was that it probably will sell a lot, in much the same way that ugly rich men always have nice girlfriends; but wouldn't they get more interest if they looked good as well?
Yet another BMW design job bangled...
However the Z4 has grown on me to the point I almost quite like it in some colours, same with the 5, the 7 less so, the 1, well I'll give it some time first, maybe some max power spoiler techniques could be used to actually improve its looks
its almost like BMW is playing some sort of weird german joke on us, a great little RWD car, yet they ruin it with ugly looks. The M5 actually looks quite good, but its not up to scrath compared with previous models. IMHO BMW was at its peak int he late 80s / early 90s the E34 is still my fav BMW model, and the 3.8L 6 speed M5 my ultimate goal, the E39 M5 was faster but signalled BMWs change from beautifully crafted drivers machines that earned its reputation, into mass produced junk for the posers, who I guess make most of its profit. ATM I have an E28 M528i (Oz only model roughly equivalent to our local [less powerful] M535i in power/speed terms) and it is an absolute BLAST to drive.
They dont make em like they used to thats for sure
The side profile isn't that much different to the older models, but there are some lovely little styling queue's in there such as the line which extends from the triangular side repeater. The rear aieral with it's little shark fin...
I'm not keen on the rear, but all to frequently the rear of cars fail to satisfy my tastes.
While I don't like BMW's as a general rule (don't know why), I love the style that the Black 5 Series I saw...
danmangt40 said:
idrive confusing?
practice.
Jesus! I can't think of any other car where you need to practice in order to operate the air conditioning. It's a car, not a sodding piano.
madasahatter said:
am I alone in thinking that BMW will sell ship loads of these cars just because of the badge on the front?
Look at the 7 series. I don't think Mr Bangle is doing BMW any favours at all.
>> Edited by Witchfinder on Sunday 4th April 00:40
You have to see the beast in the metal to really appreciate the sweeping lines and sheer aggression. It's awesome
Never used iDriver, can't comment on that. I probably won't find it confusing at all, but then I can touch type at 60 words per minute with my eyes closed and program in 20-odd programming languanges so I'm not a representative sample of the public
Firstly, why someone can be so bizarrely worried about 'vent temperature' is beyond me. The i-drive is neither difficult to use nor takes ones attention away from the road. With a little practice (it took me about 20 minutes, though admittedly I wan't driving at the time) all that is needed is the odd glance down to the screen to check that you're about to select the right thing. That said, the majority of functions can be pre-set to whatever is desired, and then left. The 'permanent post-it note' only seems to exist in America.
The looks of a car make no difference to how it drives, and are down to personal preference. In my estimation, the car looks better than the previous model.
The variable-whatever power steering apparently takes a little getting used to, according to dealers, though I haven't had the opportunity to drive one with this feature. 17" run-flats with lowered suspension do not seem to produce any tramlining effects.
Describing the gearbox as both rubbery and notchy is surely a contradiction? It is neither.
The 3 litre produces 231bhp in Britain and everywhere else as far as I know.
As for 'I have no doubt that the 530i Sport would offer something akin to a rewarding driving experience if it came equipped with some proper sports tires, an automatic gearbox', how can an automatic gearbox ever make driving more rewarding? It makes it easier and slower, but never more rewarding.
The new 5 series seems to be better than the previous model in every respect, and though many of the above statements are opinions, others are just plain wrong.
>> Edited by diluculophile on Monday 12th April 17:31
Witchfinder said:
idrive confusing?
practice.
Jesus! I can't think of any other car where you need to practice in order to operate the air conditioning. It's a car, not a sodding piano.
madasahatter said:
am I alone in thinking that BMW will sell ship loads of these cars just because of the badge on the front?
Look at the 7 series. I don't think Mr Bangle is doing BMW any favours at all.
>> Edited by Witchfinder on Sunday 4th April 00:40
The reporter just needs to read the manual and then will understand how the car works!
The idrive is the whole drivers area not just the controller, which is there to set the car up in 85% of its uses and not really needed when on the move.
All other uses ie radio/ cd player can all be adjusted from the steering wheel.....its not rocket science you just have to get used to it.
Personally i dont like the active steering but others rave about it hence the reason its an option....if you want it pay your £810.00 if not keep the money!
As far as the iDrive is concern, that wasn't one of the reason for not choosing the new 5. It's just another innovation that people will get used to in time, much like the sat nav, CD changer, power steering etc. Just like any new car, you just have to get used to all the controls before you drive it. Some cars need more getting used to than the other. I still don't like the Bangle looks!
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