A weekend with Tamora
Discussion
As you may have seen from the general TVR section, my relationship with my Griff 500 has been postponed. I have a weekend-long date with Tamora - I only hope Griff doesn't find out and throw a wobbly.
Tamora is an interesting girl. She's very grumpy in the morning - needs persistent prodding with the right foot to get her going and then she seems to want to drop off again. Finally when she is warmed up and ready to go she's still very lumpy - so much so that her bonnet resonates and bangs against her bodywork.
Not only is she grumpy in the morning, she's rather uncommunicative. She tells me how quickly her engine is spinning, but not how fast the world is going by. Needs some attention from her pimp, me thinks.
Still, when you do get her going she flies along. Handling is fantastic, ride a bit firm at low speed on bumpy roads, but faultless for fast blats. Floor her in second and she does a little shimmy and heads off towards the horizon....
Her interior is ok, but not to my taste. She's wearing fake leather trousers (bison I think she calls it). Its quite grippy, so it holds you well in the corners, but there are places where the bison is wearing through already - not sure about it lasting too well. Her LCD display is pretty funky (if only the speedo worked) - but useless in bright sunshine. And as for her indicator stalks - I know she's been passed around a bit this one - but does she have to carry these two shiny dildo's around with her? They are far better than the standard Vauxhall plastic things in a Chimaera or a Griff - but not as nice as the Leven or Zertec jewellery. The adjustable steering wheel - for rake and reach - is great - you can get that racing driver position, back rest angled back, but steering wheel good and close for arms bent control - without being on top of her pedals.
As a lady of dubious morals who's had flings with all and sundry but no meaningful relationship with anyone, its perhaps not surprising to see a few shabby bits of body work. Tamora's bonnet rattles and bangs to the extent its rubbing away the fibreglass. The drivers door has sagged and is also making contact with surrounding bodywork - rubbed through the paint and now left a load of white glassfibre powder as it eats into the bodywork.
Her pimp really ought to make more of an effort - if I wanted a full time relationship with one of Tamora's twin sisters, I would be put off by her cosmetic problems and early morning grumpiness. My neighbour thought she sounded quite unwell!
I can't fault her performance though, and her straight six sounds particularly good when you give her a sound thrashing!
Like all women, she has the usual tiresome phobia about her bottom - 'does this diffuser make my bum look big'?
If I've learnt one thing about women over the years, it's to avoid answering that question.....
Tamora is an interesting girl. She's very grumpy in the morning - needs persistent prodding with the right foot to get her going and then she seems to want to drop off again. Finally when she is warmed up and ready to go she's still very lumpy - so much so that her bonnet resonates and bangs against her bodywork.
Not only is she grumpy in the morning, she's rather uncommunicative. She tells me how quickly her engine is spinning, but not how fast the world is going by. Needs some attention from her pimp, me thinks.
Still, when you do get her going she flies along. Handling is fantastic, ride a bit firm at low speed on bumpy roads, but faultless for fast blats. Floor her in second and she does a little shimmy and heads off towards the horizon....
Her interior is ok, but not to my taste. She's wearing fake leather trousers (bison I think she calls it). Its quite grippy, so it holds you well in the corners, but there are places where the bison is wearing through already - not sure about it lasting too well. Her LCD display is pretty funky (if only the speedo worked) - but useless in bright sunshine. And as for her indicator stalks - I know she's been passed around a bit this one - but does she have to carry these two shiny dildo's around with her? They are far better than the standard Vauxhall plastic things in a Chimaera or a Griff - but not as nice as the Leven or Zertec jewellery. The adjustable steering wheel - for rake and reach - is great - you can get that racing driver position, back rest angled back, but steering wheel good and close for arms bent control - without being on top of her pedals.
As a lady of dubious morals who's had flings with all and sundry but no meaningful relationship with anyone, its perhaps not surprising to see a few shabby bits of body work. Tamora's bonnet rattles and bangs to the extent its rubbing away the fibreglass. The drivers door has sagged and is also making contact with surrounding bodywork - rubbed through the paint and now left a load of white glassfibre powder as it eats into the bodywork.
Her pimp really ought to make more of an effort - if I wanted a full time relationship with one of Tamora's twin sisters, I would be put off by her cosmetic problems and early morning grumpiness. My neighbour thought she sounded quite unwell!
I can't fault her performance though, and her straight six sounds particularly good when you give her a sound thrashing!
Like all women, she has the usual tiresome phobia about her bottom - 'does this diffuser make my bum look big'?
If I've learnt one thing about women over the years, it's to avoid answering that question.....
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