Dip stick

Author
Discussion

Anne-de492

Original Poster:

3 posts

90 months

Monday 24th October 2022
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Do you allow women on here or is it a place for men to talk about their large ... pieces of metal? Any road up (as we say in the Midlands) have you heard of this rather annoying phenomenon? A mechanic who switches your dip stick (or "level rod" as they call it in Italy) for one that is SHORTER than it should be? It could be a cartoon in Private Eye "ere, mate, I bought a new dip stick cos this one don't reach me oil no more" (in a Dick Van Dyke esque fake Cockney accent). Seriously, though, the moron who did this actually thought I would not notice that the top of said dipstick changed colour from yellow, to green. Rather like an avocado. Now, I'm sitting here in my jamas wondering WHY somebody would do such a thing? Any ideas? Here is a couple to start you off:
1. They are fascists who think if women are allowed to drive cars, they will turn into lesbians?
2. You, or a mechanic unfamiliar with Italian stallions, will now overfill the engine with oil, leading to a blown engine which is then scrapped and the (insert very rude name for a nasty piece of work) who
always coveted your rather amusing private plate, can now purchase the vehicle for pennies from his mate who works at the scrap yard, because it's the end of the month and you don't have the
80 quid to put the plate on retention, and the cops want to tow away and impound your pride and joy because it is blocking a roundabout off the M6 and causing a lovely tailback at 8 in the morning more effectively than anything Stop the Oil could have dreamed up?

Answers, on a postcard please, to: Jeremy Clarkson's secret mistress, 14 The Everglades, Slippery Ely, Cambshaft, my England

Truckosaurus

12,047 posts

291 months

Monday 24th October 2022
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Fans of WW2 history will, of course, already know that they fitted similar dodgy-dipsticks at the Citroen factory when it was commandeered by the Germans so that there was more chance their lorries broke down.

marksx

5,121 posts

197 months

Monday 24th October 2022
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What?

spookly

4,202 posts

102 months

Monday 24th October 2022
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PSA: It's still half term. If OP isn't in education they probably should be with a post like that.

Unreal

5,041 posts

32 months

Monday 24th October 2022
quotequote all
Anne-de492 said:
Do you allow women on here or is it a place for men to talk about their large ... pieces of metal? Any road up (as we say in the Midlands) have you heard of this rather annoying phenomenon? A mechanic who switches your dip stick (or "level rod" as they call it in Italy) for one that is SHORTER than it should be? It could be a cartoon in Private Eye "ere, mate, I bought a new dip stick cos this one don't reach me oil no more" (in a Dick Van Dyke esque fake Cockney accent). Seriously, though, the moron who did this actually thought I would not notice that the top of said dipstick changed colour from yellow, to green. Rather like an avocado. Now, I'm sitting here in my jamas wondering WHY somebody would do such a thing? Any ideas? Here is a couple to start you off:
1. They are fascists who think if women are allowed to drive cars, they will turn into lesbians?
2. You, or a mechanic unfamiliar with Italian stallions, will now overfill the engine with oil, leading to a blown engine which is then scrapped and the (insert very rude name for a nasty piece of work) who
always coveted your rather amusing private plate, can now purchase the vehicle for pennies from his mate who works at the scrap yard, because it's the end of the month and you don't have the
80 quid to put the plate on retention, and the cops want to tow away and impound your pride and joy because it is blocking a roundabout off the M6 and causing a lovely tailback at 8 in the morning more effectively than anything Stop the Oil could have dreamed up?

Answers, on a postcard please, to: Jeremy Clarkson's secret mistress, 14 The Everglades, Slippery Ely, Cambshaft, my England
Bit early for popcorn but still...

Cold

15,577 posts

97 months

Monday 24th October 2022
quotequote all
FWIW, it's not unheard of for a dipstick recall to happen a year or two down the line so that the new and improved correct oil level can be measured.

Brooksay

811 posts

77 months

Monday 24th October 2022
quotequote all
Anne-de492 said:
Do you allow women on here or is it a place for men to talk about their large ... pieces of metal? Any road up (as we say in the Midlands) have you heard of this rather annoying phenomenon? A mechanic who switches your dip stick (or "level rod" as they call it in Italy) for one that is SHORTER than it should be? It could be a cartoon in Private Eye "ere, mate, I bought a new dip stick cos this one don't reach me oil no more" (in a Dick Van Dyke esque fake Cockney accent). Seriously, though, the moron who did this actually thought I would not notice that the top of said dipstick changed colour from yellow, to green. Rather like an avocado. Now, I'm sitting here in my jamas wondering WHY somebody would do such a thing? Any ideas? Here is a couple to start you off:
1. They are fascists who think if women are allowed to drive cars, they will turn into lesbians?
2. You, or a mechanic unfamiliar with Italian stallions, will now overfill the engine with oil, leading to a blown engine which is then scrapped and the (insert very rude name for a nasty piece of work) who
always coveted your rather amusing private plate, can now purchase the vehicle for pennies from his mate who works at the scrap yard, because it's the end of the month and you don't have the
80 quid to put the plate on retention, and the cops want to tow away and impound your pride and joy because it is blocking a roundabout off the M6 and causing a lovely tailback at 8 in the morning more effectively than anything Stop the Oil could have dreamed up?

Answers, on a postcard please, to: Jeremy Clarkson's secret mistress, 14 The Everglades, Slippery Ely, Cambshaft, my England
More than 5 years waiting to post this? That's dedication.

Mr Tidy

24,363 posts

134 months

Monday 24th October 2022
quotequote all
Enjoy half-term Anne!

Things have moved on - my 4 BMWs with the N52 engine don't have a physical dip-stick, you check the oil level on the OBC.

Draxindustries1

1,657 posts

30 months

Tuesday 25th October 2022
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Why not just ask about the dipstick direct rather than a jumbled lash up of a post like that..

Anne-de492

Original Poster:

3 posts

90 months

Tuesday 25th October 2022
quotequote all
Sorry mate (scratches balls) - anybody got a dip stick for a luvverly Fiat Grande Punto (sniffs) 1.4 turbo going spare? If not, anybody want it? I will throw in the private plate that spells "Kafka" coz nobody in the motor trade appears to be able to read. (fart) (burp) (pass the big boobs mag will ya?)

Triumph Man

8,886 posts

175 months

Tuesday 25th October 2022
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Reading that gave me brain aids

gotoPzero

18,190 posts

196 months

Tuesday 25th October 2022
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Error installing iTunes.

PaulKemp

979 posts

152 months

Thursday 27th October 2022
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Trolls are working harder these days…

MikeM6

5,229 posts

109 months

Thursday 27th October 2022
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Fascinating, I initially assumed that having a 5.5 year old account would preclude this being a ’half term windup', but I suppose kids use tech very young these days so it could be possible. In which case I'm struggling to see the point of this? It's not the usual bragging post we get.

If this is real, there is a lot of perceived mysogyny from the poster, which I don't think is warranted and seems needlessly hostile.

I suspect the wrong dipstick is either a mistake, or they broke the first one and replaced it with something they had lying around. The resolution would be to ask the garage.

tapkaJohnD

1,993 posts

211 months

Thursday 27th October 2022
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Nice rant, Ann!

No, there is no end or limit to the idiocy of men or women, but it's usually just idiocy, not devious and malign intent.

Just take your car back and point out the mistake, preferably to a senior person.
John

Anne-de492

Original Poster:

3 posts

90 months

Thursday 27th October 2022
quotequote all
I would take it back to the garage in question, but the man who owns it wanted my private plate because by sheer coincidence it was like the name of his garage. So he had the car in for MOT and then quoted £900 to get it through, thinking I would say "don't bother, please scrap it for me". He kept saying the plate was "worthless" (I've since had it valued at £1,800 so it is actually worth more than the car). Apparently one has a human right to "enjoy the things that you own". Not if you are female and a widow, it seems! This nasty man has probably completely forgotten about the stupid woman whose car he gave back to with a dangerous wheel bearing and an older clock with a much higher mileage which renders the car worthless. This was my punishment because he was cross about me paying the £900 which meant he had to give the car back to me. I live in a small town where there is a network of dodgy garages. They all know each other and cover for each other. Some of them are also involved in criminal activities on the side, such as obtaining keys to vehicles to steal them later. You only need one crooked key cutter and you are well away. Also if you give the garage your whole bunch of keys, they can easily copy those to burgle your house later as well. It will be some time later so that you don't connect the two together. These people also have friends that own other businesses, and over a period of years they build up "favours" for each other that can be called in. So your wife will leave her handbag on the floor at the hairdressers or somewhere like that, and their car or house key will be stealthily taken to be copied, and returned with the lady being none the wiser. They will even do things for each other such as spiking the drink or food at a restaurant so that a potential witness to a crime falls ill. This might sound very "Italian" but every town has its mafia equivalent, and sometimes even police officers are involved, because they have to get their anabolic steroids from somewhere. (Police forces up and down the country have had to introduce mandatory drug testing). I hope this helps you to keep your vehicles, and your families, safe.

gotoPzero

18,190 posts

196 months

Thursday 27th October 2022
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GreenV8S

30,487 posts

291 months

Thursday 27th October 2022
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There are various reasons why they might replace the dipstick.

If you ask them, they will probably tell you.

Nothing in the two walls of text you posted precludes you doing that.

Yes, the whole world is out to get you, probably including pistonheads.com, but that's nothing to do with your dipstick.