PH - The Manifesto of Porsche Ownership.

[skidmark997]

I've only been visiting this site for a few months. I was put onto to it by a work colleague who is what I now understand to be an "enthusiast". Bear in mind that I'm very new to Porsche ownership and the whole hierarchy that clearly exists amongst the owners.

Despite this, I've made my own observations and wanted to put these out for debate!

So correct me if I'm wrong but here's how I think the land lies..

1.You're gay if you own a Boxster.
2.You're gay if you own a Cayman.
3.You're hard if you go to the "ring".
4.You're double hard if you own a GT3 and you go to the "ring".
5.You can't drive if you own any sort of Porshce which is Tiptronic.
7.You can drive if you own any sort of Porsche which is Manual (although in a gay way if rule 1 or 2 applies)
8.You live in Dubai if you own any Porshce which is white.
9.You live in Essex if you own any Porshce which is Yellow or Orange.
10.You live in Yorkshire if you put big stickers on your Porsche (unless rule 4 applies)
11.You're a Banker and therefore a W**ker if you own a 997s. ("weapons grade" - had to borrow that- if rule 5 applies)
12.You're an "enthusiast" if you drive a Porsche built before 1995.
13. You're a double hard "enthusiast" if rule 3 and 12 apply.
14. You're single if you drive anything that was built before 1980.
15. You're having a mid-life crisis if rule 3 and 14 apply.
16. You work in an office and you're bored to death if you're reading this before 5pm today.

I'll get my coat..

[mark r skinner]

Rare post on the Porsche forum from a gay TVR owner.

[Wetwipe]

skidmark997 said:

I've only been visiting this site for a few months. I was put onto to it by a work colleague who is what I now understand to be an "enthusiast". Bear in mind that I'm very new to Porsche ownership and the whole hierarchy that clearly exists amongst the owners.

Despite this, I've made my own observations and wanted to put these out for debate!

So correct me if I'm wrong but here's how I think the land lies..

1.You're gay if you own a Boxster.
2.You're gay if you own a Cayman.
3.You're hard if you go to the "ring".
4.You're double hard if you own a GT3 and you go to the "ring".
5.You can't drive if you own any sort of Porshce which is Tiptronic.
7.You can drive if you own any sort of Porsche which is Manual (although in a gay way if rule 1 or 2 applies)
8.You live in Dubai if you own any Porshce which is white.
9.You live in Essex if you own any Porshce which is Yellow or Orange.
10.You live in Yorkshire if you put big stickers on your Porsche (unless rule 4 applies)
11.You're a Banker and therefore a W**ker if you own a 997s. ("weapons grade" - had to borrow that- if rule 5 applies)
12.You're an "enthusiast" if you drive a Porsche built before 1995.
13. You're a double hard "enthusiast" if rule 3 and 12 apply.
14. You're single if you drive anything that was built before 1980.
15. You're having a mid-life crisis if rule 3 and 14 apply.
16. You work in an office and you're bored to death if you're reading this before 5pm today.

I'll get my coat..

spot on top man

[Andy T]

Spot on!

[jeremyc]

Just about covers all the bases, but what about:

- You're dead if you drive a GT2.
- You're God's gift to rapid cross-country driving if you have a 996 Turbo.

[housemaster]

You are also a puff and misunderstood if you went from a GT3 to a Turbo, or as we call it "Kaycnesss"

[timu23]

I think we all may as well go home now!



As a 'gay' former Boxster S owner I shouldn't really be allowed on here...

[mikeg996]

that's really really good, well done :-)

[andy97]

You are a poor Porsche enthusiast if you own a 944 and are:

a. like the embarrasing relative at Xmas, not really fit to be seen in the same company as "real Porsche" drivers and,
b. only really driving a rather good VW/Audi, according to so called "real porsche" drivers

But,

1. Not gay
2. Not up your own @rse or a banker or a *anchor
3. Probably quicker round the 'Ring, because you can get round without having to frighten yourself silly & yet pretend that you are hard.

[boxsey]

Oh poo! I didn't realise I was gay and couldn't drive, aswell as being poor, until you posted this thread

..but at least I can spell porsche (even though mine isn't a real one )

[nervous]

dude, as the judge said, stop following me.

[magic torch]

Very good, but

what's better GT3 or TT?

[M@verick]

magic torch said:

Very good, but

what's better GT3 or TT?

And is it Gay to have a warranty or not ?

R.

[cayman-black]

[anonymous-user]

M@verick said:

And is it Gay to have a warranty or not ?

R.

well it implies you're water cooled and cant afford a new engine.

so your gay and poor

[softinthehead]

been missed out again.

despite being poor, and gay, and a hairdresser. as usual the brilliance of the 968 goes unsung by the snooty majority

goes off in huff and sharpens favourite set of grooming clippers

[Phil Hopkins]

[M@verick]

francisb said:

M@verick said:

And is it Gay to have a warranty or not ?

R.

well it implies you're water cooled and cant afford a new engine.

so your gay and poor

Shit. The missus isnt going to be happy when i let her know im both penniless and a raving bummer. Id never realised

R.

Edited by M@verick on Friday 10th November 17:19

[peppersgonecrazy]

There are 2 possible combinations that our friend has not talked about which may lead to one or two less gay porsche drivers out there.

1) You are not gay if u have a boxster and u r a woman!
2) ditto Cayman!

[jeremyc]

peppersgonecrazy said:

1) You are not gay if u have a boxster and u r a woman!
2) ditto Cayman!

I don't see why not?

And you could guarantee a testosterone-filled audience of GT3 drivers.