guy meets girl - girl wants to drive!!

guy meets girl - girl wants to drive!!

Author
Discussion

gemini

Original Poster:

11,352 posts

270 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
Stop
Its dilema time (sounds mc hammer?)

In my now testosterone filled life (separated from wife) I have met a rather nice girl who I chat up and invite to come to the TVRCC track day at Croft (7th June)
She says can I drive? Argh The cars my baby! But she's insistant!
Now Ive never seen her drive - shes no track experience and as far as I can tell no car experience over 1300cc.
What would you do to avoid messing this up?

Bodo

12,405 posts

272 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
uhh, that's a tricky one. Why not visit the track day alone, and go out with her another time without involving cars?
If you don't let her drive, the track day could be boring for her.

You're trying to get her used to the rules, in case this is going to be a longer relationship?

PetrolTed

34,443 posts

309 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
Be straight. Tell her it's your pride and joy and track driving is a dangerous business that requires new skills.

How about only letting her out with an instructor until you're confident she's not going to bin your car.

Never, never, never let someone else drive your car if they're not insured. That's a simple and understandable reason.

marco

1,727 posts

290 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
Simple answer. Lie.

Tell her that the oprganisers only let people on if they're fully insured (which isn't entirely untrue!).

Its only a little fib, she won't feel hurt, you wont risk you fledgling relationship by having to murder her is she rights the car off, everybody's happy.



Marco

PS: I'm not proud of this you know!

davidy

4,469 posts

290 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
Some of those comments above make me seeth

Just because someone has no track day experience and probably not driven a car above 1300cc doesn't make them a bad driver. They be even be better than you SHOCK HORROR.

Looking at your profile gemini, you have the following:-

1) With all due respect not one of the most powerful TVRs ever made, in fact I suspect a well driven Citreon AX would give it hassle around a circuit.

2) Your profession probably gives you some of the skills required to judge a persons driving competence. So make a proper opinion not one biased with emotion for a lump of metal and plastic.

At the end of the day its only a car, whats more important to you the car or your relationship, if its the car then please let the girl know NOW (and lead a sad life with a bottle of Autoglym!!)

If you participate fully in these kind of events with your partner then she may well become just as fond of your car as you. If you don't, then you stand the chance of resentment building up in the relationship (from virtually day one in your case). At least she has shown enough interest to want to come to the track day, make her feel part of it.

Stop all this macho mincing pit lane walking now.

I know first time out on a new circuit in a powerful car my wife could post a faster lap time than me, because she if far more capable of putting a machine in its envelope from the off than I am, I take time to build up to the envelope. She also came third at TVR Performance Technique day at Donington one year.

Give the girl (and your relationship) a chance. I would suggest that she goes out with an instructor first time round, as there's nothing more off putting than piloting someone elses car with the owner trying to brake the floorpan with imaginery braking in the left hand seat!!!!

davidy

rude girl

6,937 posts

265 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
Richard, I wouldn't let her drive, not if she's only ever driven a low powered fwd car. I have to say I find the thought of putting someone who's never driven a performance car behind the wheel on a track day amongst experienced drivers (even if they're track day novices) absolutely It ain't going to improve your relationship if she totals your p&j or hurts herself, is it?

Saying that, love of cars is to be encouraged. What I'd probably do is try and get her a passenger ride in a Caterham, or with someone very quick who will do a full commentary - that should make her realise how fast things happen on track and put her off having her first drive on a track day. The insurance thing is good too.

Then take her on an airfield some time when it's wet and let her have a feel of what the car's like. Then encourage her to buy her own - the world needs more TVR girls.

RoadRunner

2,690 posts

273 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
Don't let her drive; she's a girl. Obviously she'll be crap, lol.

davidy

4,469 posts

290 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
rude girl

Why not insure her now and get some road experience with the car???

Incidentently the first time my wife (then my girlfriend drove my TVR) was on a circuit day, she had no previous track day experience in cars (only bikes). She enjoyed my TVR so much that she went out and bought a Griff500 a few weeks later! which she was more than happy for me to drive on a circuit.

The track is only as scary as you make it. On a TVRCC generally the cars are quite well spaced, if not you can make space, an instructor can help here.

Why don't you put this round the other way. If a girl owned the car, it was her p&j, and her partner wanted to drive it, don't you think he would be well pissed off. Why should it be any different the other way round.

I will repeat at the end of the day it is only a car made out of repairable metal and plastic.

davidy edited to say thanks Roadrunner you have managed in one line waht its taken me all morning to say!

>> Edited by davidy on Friday 23 May 09:52

CVP

2,799 posts

281 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
Gemini

Looks like you're onto a long term winner if you handle this right. She's obviously keen to join in with your loves (hobbies is not the right word I think) and obviously enjoys the car. So great.

1. Get her insured
2. Get an instructor to first take her round (in something else)
3. Let her go round with an instructor (in your car)
4. Relax and enjoy yourself

It's only a car - if it gets bent you'll be a lot more worried about her than the car and you know it

I always thought it was a sign of commitment that the moment I went and bought my first "fast" car (Golf VR6) I immediately put my girlfriend (the now Mrs CVP) on the insurance. Nipped off to the pub for lunch and gave her the keys (after a couple of pints ).

She's an enthusiatic and good driver so no worries. Needless to say both our cars are insured for both of us but she doesn't get to drive the Elise too much as I can get a bit selfish with the keys If she ever stacked either of the cars I wouldn't give a toss about them as long as she was ok. So put your new lady on the insurance, have a good time and relax.

Chris

Paul V

4,489 posts

283 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
I think the idea of getting her on the insurance and letting her drive it on a quite road is a good idea, if she handles it ok then maybe let her out on track.

I have the problem that my current insurer won’t put my girlfriend on as she’s only 22, she’s never driven either of the TVR’s on the road, I do get to drive her Cooper S though

rude girl

6,937 posts

265 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all

davidy said: rude girl

Why don't you put this round the other way. If a girl owned the car, it was her p&j, and her partner wanted to drive it, don't you think he would be well pissed off. Why should it be any different the other way round.


Ahem. I am a girl with a Griff 500, and if it was the other way round, I wouldn't let him drive my car for the first time on a track day. Who brought gender in to it? But to answer your question,if he was 'well pissed off' because I wouldn't let him have his own way with my property, then tough - if he was going to strop about that after only a couple of dates then I'd conclude that he only wanted me for my car and good riddance. And I agree with you this far - it doesn't matter if the car belongs to the bloke or the bird. Principle's the same.

Read what I said again. I'm all in favour of women getting interested in driving - I never once suggested that men are better drivers than women. I'd say go out on an airfield first or go on a bookatrack day where you can use one of their cars. I let my 22 year old niece drive mine and she handles it extremely well, but no way on this planet would her first drive have been on a track day. Being a good driver is not the same thing as being a good track day driver.

There are loads of ways you can indulge and encourage a mutual interest in performance cars without handing over your keys on day 1.

And consider another side of this. If you were on a track day in say your brand new T350 and were forced off or hit by someone who had never even driven a TVR (or any other powerful car) before, how pleased would you be? This is a TVRCC track day remember - it's reasonable to expect that people have experience in handling the cars. I'm sorry if this is getting pedantic but I really think gemini is right to be cautious about this. Do other car-related stuff. Let her drive it somewhere else, but don't do this. She'll have loads of fun if she just comes with you and gets passenger rides.


I will repeat at the end of the day it is only a car made out of repairable metal and plastic.


It is indeed, but if this relationship is likely to fail just because she can't drive his car (yet), then frankly it's a non-starter anyway; you can't buy love. My partner and I are both TVR owners, but it was still months before we drove eachother's cars. Frankly I would never dream of asking someone if I could drive their P&J. I'd always wait to be offered. The value of the car is irrelevant too, I'd always respect the fact that someone has worked to buy their car, and that isn't altered if it happens to be cheaper than mine.

Edited to say that I've just re-read the original post. Am I right in thinking she's not even your girlfriend yet, just someone you've been chatting up and invited on a 'date' to Croft? If that's the case, then I think she's got a cheek being insistent that you let her drive. Is she being insistent about paying for the track day and stumping up a £1000 excess as well?

>> Edited by rude girl on Friday 23 May 11:44

davidy

4,469 posts

290 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
I didn't think I'd started any gender battles but I did say




Why not insure her now and get some road experience with the car???




Obviously every relationship is different otherwise we would all be very dull!!!

I've said my two pence now, its obviously different to some of the other opinions, but hey its a free country and gemini did ask for opinions.

davidy

PetrolTed

34,443 posts

309 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all

I will repeat at the end of the day it is only a car made out of repairable metal and plastic.


I know of a number of incidents where mates have crashed cars and not been insured. It may only be metal and plastic but being faced with a repair bill for £10,000 is a situation to be avoided either by insuring the car or not letting them drive.

CraigAlsop

1,991 posts

274 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
Gemini - talk to William Ball at www.TrackDayCarHire.com - he will be bringing his Megablade to the TVR Croft trackday I believe. Not sure if he is fully booked yet or not, but you'd feel far better if she crashed Willies car than yours (sorry Willie )
It's also far more newbie friendly than a TVR

gemini

Original Poster:

11,352 posts

270 months

Friday 23rd May 2003
quotequote all
Oh Lord what have a started? all out war?

A few replies to the well meant (I hope?) posts

Firstly the prize for actually reading a post goes to Rude Girl
Shes not my girlfriend - Ive only invited her on a date! Now Im not saying I dont want more but I didnt say shes the future MRS Gemini - Im not divoirced yet!

Secondly - Davidy - where the hell did your rant come from?
I post a light hearted dilema and get shot down for having a poor mans garage!!
Ive driven my 4ltr Chimaera round Croft before I bought the Taz. To be fair Its just as quick round the squiggley bits but well under powered down the straights. Frustrating enough without you rubbing it in
Slow maybe but my P+J (and quicker than the Skoda est!)

Now this is just a first date

I agree rude girl - I was taken a back really she should ask.

I think that the date will go the same way if she drives or not (barring an incident) I will therefore go with the insurance idea.
My worries also included getting in the way or colliding with someone elses P+J - that would be a disaster!

So davidy - who ever suggested SHE was not as good a driver as me? Not me! I just dont know and the track is not the place to find out

Anyway - I think this is the most passion Ive induced in a thread ever

Watch this space - never be a real man like Mungo but Ill have to post more on my trials and tribulations in LURVE!!!

>> Edited by gemini on Saturday 24th May 08:49

jessica

6,321 posts

258 months

Saturday 24th May 2003
quotequote all
Hiya Rude girl...... at last another 5 litre girlie..
not sexist at all. but anything the boys can do huh!!!!!!!!

i agree my hubby wanted me to buy a TVR REG FOR MY CHIM 5L,NOT J12 SSE..as he said he wud feel a right jessie driving it.. I said tough it's my car u go get yer own... he does have a Scimitar.

and to be honest driving that gave me enough experience to handel a chim in the wet. scim has r.w.d also. but only a small 3 litre enigne( all together |AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!)

GO Girl........:P

madmike

2,372 posts

272 months

Tuesday 27th May 2003
quotequote all
First date...hmmmm...let me think about it for a second.

NO FRICKIN WAY!!!!!

If she wants to ride along great. Drive, not a chance.

As to how you break the news, just explain to her that track days are not highway driving, and you've not seen her drive. Be honest.

Or any easy way is that you have a standing rule...NO ONE drives your car. It's your baby. It's not her, nobody gets to.

Mike

gemini

Original Poster:

11,352 posts

270 months

Tuesday 27th May 2003
quotequote all
seeing her tomorrow to explain

Holds breath

GavinPearson

5,715 posts

257 months

Wednesday 28th May 2003
quotequote all
I have an alternativem to saying 'no' for you.....

Be honest but with a plan. Say that you want her to participate but in a vehicle where if she or somebody else on the circuit makes a mistake that it won't cost you your relationship. Then buy a very cheap yet potentially circuitworthy vehicle and thrash it for the day. If your girlfriend shows herself to be competent, then that is good. If she crashes then only her pride has been hurt.

I seized up my Triumph's rally engine at my club's annual Cadwell Park meet. To avoid the same thing happening the following year I bought a 280 quid Ford Sierra 2.0 with a year's MOT and a week's Tax on it. A friend went halves on it with me and we insured it Third Party. It proved to be good entertaining RWD fun and as we did not care at all if it got totally ruined we drove it mercilessly. Amazingly it survived and we sold it the following week for 325.

jessica

6,321 posts

258 months

Wednesday 28th May 2003
quotequote all
well i have a better idea.. only go out with girlies who own TVR,s problem solved see..

.