Calling people with partner and kids
Discussion
Bare with me here......
Scenario. Married, 3yr old, 2nd baby due in March. Missus is leaving work at Christmas and effectively retiring until the kids are of school age, so she'll be a full time mum. Now currently, I have a 15 plate Focus ST estate, PCP deal ends June 2017, missus has an 07 plate POS Fiesta (every time I drive it it feels like it's going to die soon). She's expressed that she wants a larger car for when she lugging around 2 kids, which I fully understand. At the minute my car does all the heavy lifting, and hers gets her to work and back, and picks laddo up from nursery twice a week, but once she's finished work 99% of her journeys will involve 2 kids, and 99% of their car journeys will be in her car. Now this got me thinking, people that are married with kids, do you still do the his & her car? Or do you generally just share cars?
See, I have a few options now, and I can't decide which route to take:
1) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax, VW Touran type thing, and buy mine in June. I like my car, but it does seem daft having an estate when 99% of the time it'll just be me, and we'll have a 2nd large car for the heavy lifting.
2) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax type thing, sell mine in June, and switch back to a smaller hot hatch, Fiesta ST, maybe even back to an EP3.
3) Sack off the his & her cars, and just buy a small & large car, that we interchange depending on what we're doing. Get say a Skoda Yeti/VW Tiguan for family duties, then just a 2nd smaller car for generally running around (although in reality she'll be using the larger car most of the time).
The only issue I take with option 3 is that she's terrible at looking after cars. Her Fiesta looks like the local tip inside, a car is just an AtoB machine for her, so they don't get any respect, so I'm a bit reluctant to buy an expensive (ish) car for family duties, if its just going to get slowly destroyed.
I know this is ultimately my decision, just after some opinions on what others would do or have done. Thoughts?
Scenario. Married, 3yr old, 2nd baby due in March. Missus is leaving work at Christmas and effectively retiring until the kids are of school age, so she'll be a full time mum. Now currently, I have a 15 plate Focus ST estate, PCP deal ends June 2017, missus has an 07 plate POS Fiesta (every time I drive it it feels like it's going to die soon). She's expressed that she wants a larger car for when she lugging around 2 kids, which I fully understand. At the minute my car does all the heavy lifting, and hers gets her to work and back, and picks laddo up from nursery twice a week, but once she's finished work 99% of her journeys will involve 2 kids, and 99% of their car journeys will be in her car. Now this got me thinking, people that are married with kids, do you still do the his & her car? Or do you generally just share cars?
See, I have a few options now, and I can't decide which route to take:
1) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax, VW Touran type thing, and buy mine in June. I like my car, but it does seem daft having an estate when 99% of the time it'll just be me, and we'll have a 2nd large car for the heavy lifting.
2) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax type thing, sell mine in June, and switch back to a smaller hot hatch, Fiesta ST, maybe even back to an EP3.
3) Sack off the his & her cars, and just buy a small & large car, that we interchange depending on what we're doing. Get say a Skoda Yeti/VW Tiguan for family duties, then just a 2nd smaller car for generally running around (although in reality she'll be using the larger car most of the time).
The only issue I take with option 3 is that she's terrible at looking after cars. Her Fiesta looks like the local tip inside, a car is just an AtoB machine for her, so they don't get any respect, so I'm a bit reluctant to buy an expensive (ish) car for family duties, if its just going to get slowly destroyed.
I know this is ultimately my decision, just after some opinions on what others would do or have done. Thoughts?
We've always had "His&Hers" cars and occasionally drive each others if needed.
We have a 5 year old and an 8 year old.
For the last 3 years though I have had a Renault Clio company car (I don't get a choice - just got my new one), and the wife drives our family car....Skoda Octavia vRS (which used to be my daily car).
The Clio is fine for the school run and shorter journeys, and then we use the Octavia for holidays to France and longer trips due to space/comfort etc.
FWIW I would hugely recommend the Octavia for a family car. Really spacious, well equipped, quick enough and the boot is absolutely huge. Ours is a 2012 and was bought brand new. I usually get bored after 2/3 years and change our main car but I just can't justify the cost when this current one has had no issues (touch wood), and is still perfect for our needs.
We have a 5 year old and an 8 year old.
For the last 3 years though I have had a Renault Clio company car (I don't get a choice - just got my new one), and the wife drives our family car....Skoda Octavia vRS (which used to be my daily car).
The Clio is fine for the school run and shorter journeys, and then we use the Octavia for holidays to France and longer trips due to space/comfort etc.
FWIW I would hugely recommend the Octavia for a family car. Really spacious, well equipped, quick enough and the boot is absolutely huge. Ours is a 2012 and was bought brand new. I usually get bored after 2/3 years and change our main car but I just can't justify the cost when this current one has had no issues (touch wood), and is still perfect for our needs.
randlemarcus said:
Give her yours, get a 911. If she doesn't like that, she can buy her own car, surely?
Whilst this does sound great I'm not in a financial position to have a Focus ST and a 911, come January mine will be the sole income, having to finance a 4bed house, wife & 2 kids I doubt they'll be 911 money left over.I've suggest various estates as I've had 3 now and they're immensely useful, I can nip to B&Q on the way home from work and buy a 3m length of timber, knowing full well the car will swallow it up, but she's after a mini MPV (is that what they're called?), Focus CMax or VW Touran type thing, or a mini SUV, Yeti/Tiguan size. I'm tempted to get something on lease for the family, leaving me to get pretty much what I want for myself. I love to go back to a Corrado, but that's probably not overly practical, my previous one spent most of its life broken, and they're 8yrs older now.
skinnyman said:
Bare with me here......
Scenario. Married, 3yr old, 2nd baby due in March. Missus is leaving work at Christmas and effectively retiring until the kids are of school age, so she'll be a full time mum. Now currently, I have a 15 plate Focus ST estate, PCP deal ends June 2017, missus has an 07 plate POS Fiesta (every time I drive it it feels like it's going to die soon). She's expressed that she wants a larger car for when she lugging around 2 kids, which I fully understand. At the minute my car does all the heavy lifting, and hers gets her to work and back, and picks laddo up from nursery twice a week, but once she's finished work 99% of her journeys will involve 2 kids, and 99% of their car journeys will be in her car. Now this got me thinking, people that are married with kids, do you still do the his & her car? Or do you generally just share cars?
See, I have a few options now, and I can't decide which route to take:
1) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax, VW Touran type thing, and buy mine in June. I like my car, but it does seem daft having an estate when 99% of the time it'll just be me, and we'll have a 2nd large car for the heavy lifting.
2) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax type thing, sell mine in June, and switch back to a smaller hot hatch, Fiesta ST, maybe even back to an EP3.
3) Sack off the his & her cars, and just buy a small & large car, that we interchange depending on what we're doing. Get say a Skoda Yeti/VW Tiguan for family duties, then just a 2nd smaller car for generally running around (although in reality she'll be using the larger car most of the time).
The only issue I take with option 3 is that she's terrible at looking after cars. Her Fiesta looks like the local tip inside, a car is just an AtoB machine for her, so they don't get any respect, so I'm a bit reluctant to buy an expensive (ish) car for family duties, if its just going to get slowly destroyed.
I know this is ultimately my decision, just after some opinions on what others would do or have done. Thoughts?
Does "she" like cars? Does "she" like being in a nice car? Scenario. Married, 3yr old, 2nd baby due in March. Missus is leaving work at Christmas and effectively retiring until the kids are of school age, so she'll be a full time mum. Now currently, I have a 15 plate Focus ST estate, PCP deal ends June 2017, missus has an 07 plate POS Fiesta (every time I drive it it feels like it's going to die soon). She's expressed that she wants a larger car for when she lugging around 2 kids, which I fully understand. At the minute my car does all the heavy lifting, and hers gets her to work and back, and picks laddo up from nursery twice a week, but once she's finished work 99% of her journeys will involve 2 kids, and 99% of their car journeys will be in her car. Now this got me thinking, people that are married with kids, do you still do the his & her car? Or do you generally just share cars?
See, I have a few options now, and I can't decide which route to take:
1) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax, VW Touran type thing, and buy mine in June. I like my car, but it does seem daft having an estate when 99% of the time it'll just be me, and we'll have a 2nd large car for the heavy lifting.
2) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax type thing, sell mine in June, and switch back to a smaller hot hatch, Fiesta ST, maybe even back to an EP3.
3) Sack off the his & her cars, and just buy a small & large car, that we interchange depending on what we're doing. Get say a Skoda Yeti/VW Tiguan for family duties, then just a 2nd smaller car for generally running around (although in reality she'll be using the larger car most of the time).
The only issue I take with option 3 is that she's terrible at looking after cars. Her Fiesta looks like the local tip inside, a car is just an AtoB machine for her, so they don't get any respect, so I'm a bit reluctant to buy an expensive (ish) car for family duties, if its just going to get slowly destroyed.
I know this is ultimately my decision, just after some opinions on what others would do or have done. Thoughts?
What would SHE like to drive if she didn't have a child on the way and a 3yr old? Would the occasional drive in something nice make her have the dignity she deserves and make her feel like a woman rather than a mother?
Have you asked her what she would like?
For the record - she isn't retiring. She is taking on the toughest jobs known to humanity without pay or company perks. Personally I have never had a job that involved cracked nipples and crushing exhaustion.
Saying that if you buy a MPV then just cut out a chunk of your life and phone dignitas.
Just for credentials - married for the last 24 years and have 3 kids (all teenagers).
My wife loved her C max for our 2 kids.
Ever since we swapped it for an S Max she complains about parking the damn thing, and we have it scraped all the time.
The C Max was a perfect car up until 50 mph.
Very manoeuvrable, nippy, easy to get in and out of. Just leaned a bit on the roundabouts.
We had the 2.0 petrol auto, very convenient. (2008)
Ever since we swapped it for an S Max she complains about parking the damn thing, and we have it scraped all the time.
The C Max was a perfect car up until 50 mph.
Very manoeuvrable, nippy, easy to get in and out of. Just leaned a bit on the roundabouts.
We had the 2.0 petrol auto, very convenient. (2008)
DeadInside said:
Does "she" like cars? Does "she" like being in a nice car?
What would SHE like to drive if she didn't have a child on the way and a 3yr old? Would the occasional drive in something nice make her have the dignity she deserves and make her feel like a woman rather than a mother?
Have you asked her what she would like?
For the record - she isn't retiring. She is taking on the toughest jobs known to humanity without pay or company perks. Personally I have never had a job that involved cracked nipples and crushing exhaustion.
Saying that if you buy a MPV then just cut out a chunk of your life and phone dignitas.
Just for credentials - married for the last 24 years and have 3 kids (all teenagers).
Didn't mean to touch a nerve there.What would SHE like to drive if she didn't have a child on the way and a 3yr old? Would the occasional drive in something nice make her have the dignity she deserves and make her feel like a woman rather than a mother?
Have you asked her what she would like?
For the record - she isn't retiring. She is taking on the toughest jobs known to humanity without pay or company perks. Personally I have never had a job that involved cracked nipples and crushing exhaustion.
Saying that if you buy a MPV then just cut out a chunk of your life and phone dignitas.
Just for credentials - married for the last 24 years and have 3 kids (all teenagers).
And no, she doesn't like cars. Before the Fiesta I bought her a brand new Fiat 500, as that was the car she chose, and frankly she destroyed the bloody thing, hence only willing to a buy a £1500 runaround Fiesta afterwards.
Also, I wasn't insinuating that motherhood isn't difficult, I simply meant that she wouldn't be employed, we joke about her retiring, so I just used that description of the situation.
She doesn't have an interest in cars, so spending £xxx on "something nice" would frankly be wasteful. However, if we went down the "family car & runaround" route then she'd arguably have the nicer/better car, she'd end up in something like a Tiguan and I'd end up back in an EP3 or the like
skinnyman said:
Didn't mean to touch a nerve there.
And no, she doesn't like cars. Before the Fiesta I bought her a brand new Fiat 500, as that was the car she chose, and frankly she destroyed the bloody thing, hence only willing to a buy a £1500 runaround Fiesta afterwards.
Also, I wasn't insinuating that motherhood isn't difficult, I simply meant that she wouldn't be employed, we joke about her retiring, so I just used that description of the situation.
She doesn't have an interest in cars, so spending £xxx on "something nice" would frankly be wasteful. However, if we went down the "family car & runaround" route then she'd arguably have the nicer/better car, she'd end up in something like a Tiguan and I'd end up back in an EP3 or the like
fAnd no, she doesn't like cars. Before the Fiesta I bought her a brand new Fiat 500, as that was the car she chose, and frankly she destroyed the bloody thing, hence only willing to a buy a £1500 runaround Fiesta afterwards.
Also, I wasn't insinuating that motherhood isn't difficult, I simply meant that she wouldn't be employed, we joke about her retiring, so I just used that description of the situation.
She doesn't have an interest in cars, so spending £xxx on "something nice" would frankly be wasteful. However, if we went down the "family car & runaround" route then she'd arguably have the nicer/better car, she'd end up in something like a Tiguan and I'd end up back in an EP3 or the like
king hell, doing some research to try and ensure you meet the transport needs of your family, you complete bar steward!sounds like her better half had her driving round in a fiat panda while he was out dogging in a Vanquish
On the basis that my wife has no interest in cars, since we've had kids she's always had the family car and I've had the "fun" car. First family car was a 5 seat C-Max which she loved - huge luggage capacity and the ability to turn it into a van when needed. Next car was a Citroen Grand C4 Picasso - again she absolutely loves it as it's so practical. Her cars have generally been more expensive than mine - justifies the fun element against mine.
In this time I've had several 2 seaters, but since she went back to work I now need 4 seats and have done a Civic, a Mini JCW and currently a Golf R.
It's a balancing act and one that you need to work out for yourself. I'm generally in the minority as most of my mates drive the family car and their wives have a small runaround. I could not think of anything worse personally.
In this time I've had several 2 seaters, but since she went back to work I now need 4 seats and have done a Civic, a Mini JCW and currently a Golf R.
It's a balancing act and one that you need to work out for yourself. I'm generally in the minority as most of my mates drive the family car and their wives have a small runaround. I could not think of anything worse personally.
At the minute its looking like a Cmax for family duties, and although I could go back to an EP3 or similar I'm not sure I could go back to an older car after having new. At which point I realised the new Fiesta is due next year, round about the same time my Focus deal ends, so I might see what the new STs look like. Through brokers I've seen you can get the current ST3 for around £16k, and it'll have all the toys I'm used to. Or for depreciation purposes Om guess the current ST200 should hold its value pretty well.
Just buy a good cmax if that's what she likes. My wife battered hers, But hated the image. Great space, soul destroying image. Ours had a few issues, it ended up leaking but I could never find where. It had a new ecu. One of the seat belts packed up. Lots of niggly things, these thing do get a hard life so buy carefully!
I was glad when it went tbh. Was quite good to drive, and on all weather tyres it handled anything we threw at it.
I was glad when it went tbh. Was quite good to drive, and on all weather tyres it handled anything we threw at it.
skinnyman said:
Bare with me here......
Scenario. Married, 3yr old, 2nd baby due in March. Missus is leaving work at Christmas and effectively retiring until the kids are of school age, so she'll be a full time mum. Now currently, I have a 15 plate Focus ST estate, PCP deal ends June 2017, missus has an 07 plate POS Fiesta (every time I drive it it feels like it's going to die soon). She's expressed that she wants a larger car for when she lugging around 2 kids, which I fully understand. At the minute my car does all the heavy lifting, and hers gets her to work and back, and picks laddo up from nursery twice a week, but once she's finished work 99% of her journeys will involve 2 kids, and 99% of their car journeys will be in her car. Now this got me thinking, people that are married with kids, do you still do the his & her car? Or do you generally just share cars?
See, I have a few options now, and I can't decide which route to take:
1) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax, VW Touran type thing, and buy mine in June. I like my car, but it does seem daft having an estate when 99% of the time it'll just be me, and we'll have a 2nd large car for the heavy lifting.
2) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax type thing, sell mine in June, and switch back to a smaller hot hatch, Fiesta ST, maybe even back to an EP3.
3) Sack off the his & her cars, and just buy a small & large car, that we interchange depending on what we're doing. Get say a Skoda Yeti/VW Tiguan for family duties, then just a 2nd smaller car for generally running around (although in reality she'll be using the larger car most of the time).
The only issue I take with option 3 is that she's terrible at looking after cars. Her Fiesta looks like the local tip inside, a car is just an AtoB machine for her, so they don't get any respect, so I'm a bit reluctant to buy an expensive (ish) car for family duties, if its just going to get slowly destroyed.
I know this is ultimately my decision, just after some opinions on what others would do or have done. Thoughts?
Perfectly sums up my life to a tee.Scenario. Married, 3yr old, 2nd baby due in March. Missus is leaving work at Christmas and effectively retiring until the kids are of school age, so she'll be a full time mum. Now currently, I have a 15 plate Focus ST estate, PCP deal ends June 2017, missus has an 07 plate POS Fiesta (every time I drive it it feels like it's going to die soon). She's expressed that she wants a larger car for when she lugging around 2 kids, which I fully understand. At the minute my car does all the heavy lifting, and hers gets her to work and back, and picks laddo up from nursery twice a week, but once she's finished work 99% of her journeys will involve 2 kids, and 99% of their car journeys will be in her car. Now this got me thinking, people that are married with kids, do you still do the his & her car? Or do you generally just share cars?
See, I have a few options now, and I can't decide which route to take:
1) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax, VW Touran type thing, and buy mine in June. I like my car, but it does seem daft having an estate when 99% of the time it'll just be me, and we'll have a 2nd large car for the heavy lifting.
2) Buy her a £3k-£4k Focus Cmax type thing, sell mine in June, and switch back to a smaller hot hatch, Fiesta ST, maybe even back to an EP3.
3) Sack off the his & her cars, and just buy a small & large car, that we interchange depending on what we're doing. Get say a Skoda Yeti/VW Tiguan for family duties, then just a 2nd smaller car for generally running around (although in reality she'll be using the larger car most of the time).
The only issue I take with option 3 is that she's terrible at looking after cars. Her Fiesta looks like the local tip inside, a car is just an AtoB machine for her, so they don't get any respect, so I'm a bit reluctant to buy an expensive (ish) car for family duties, if its just going to get slowly destroyed.
I know this is ultimately my decision, just after some opinions on what others would do or have done. Thoughts?
And my wife has a 'thing' where she thinks any car over 4 years old is old and s
t. The net result is she has a new XC60 which she treats like absolute st, never cleans and it looks like it is 25 years old that costs me a fortune, and I buy 5 year old cars that don't depreciate, are nicer than hers and cost me nothing.It drives me up the f
king wall.Total cost of 3 year ownership for her Volvo will be circa £15k which looks like a wreck from about month 3
Total cost of ownership for me in that time for my Phaeton/C63amg/whatever I buy next will be sub £5k and both those cars are brilliant and like new. Crazy
Anyway, in answer to your question these are his & hers. Although we both driver each others, the moment I accept that they are shared cars, the deadlock whereby I refuse point blank to clean her car will have to be broken because I will somehow unwittingly accept responsibility for the cleanliness of her car.
Edited by blindswelledrat on Tuesday 22 November 11:25
bks I'm regretting my thinking now in suggesting to the wife we lease her a new Mini.
My wife is like many described on here, in that she treats any car she drives like st. It gets cleaned when I complain about the smell when I have to get in it. I regularly find coffee cups and plates with half eaten breakfast in it where she's been rushing in the morning and decided to breakfast en route. Her last Mini was recently written off after catching fire on the motorway due to an oil leak, apparently "it had been using a lot of oil and water recently". Apparently that was partly my fault, because if I was a decent husband I'd clean and maintain it for her 
I don't get it, she's not like this round the house and always looks impeccable, but her car looks like she lends it to tramps to sleep in while she's working.
I'd reasoned to myself that the threat of high costs to hand back a st pit of a lease car would encourage her to look after it, but her last promise of "I'll definitely look after this one if we get a nice one" did not pan out, so whilst I am a glass half full kind of person perhaps I'm being a bit unrealistic.
She tells me she doesn't care what she drives, but when I suggest anything else... "no I don't like those"
ks I'm regretting my thinking now in suggesting to the wife we lease her a new Mini. My wife is like many described on here, in that she treats any car she drives like s
t. It gets cleaned when I complain about the smell when I have to get in it. I regularly find coffee cups and plates with half eaten breakfast in it where she's been rushing in the morning and decided to breakfast en route. Her last Mini was recently written off after catching fire on the motorway due to an oil leak, apparently "it had been using a lot of oil and water recently". Apparently that was partly my fault, because if I was a decent husband I'd clean and maintain it for her I don't get it, she's not like this round the house and always looks impeccable, but her car looks like she lends it to tramps to sleep in while she's working.
I'd reasoned to myself that the threat of high costs to hand back a s
t pit of a lease car would encourage her to look after it, but her last promise of "I'll definitely look after this one if we get a nice one" did not pan out, so whilst I am a glass half full kind of person perhaps I'm being a bit unrealistic. She tells me she doesn't care what she drives, but when I suggest anything else... "no I don't like those"
antspants said:
I'd reasoned to myself that the threat of high costs to hand back a st pit of a lease car would encourage her to look after it, but her last promise of "I'll definitely look after this one if we get a nice one" did not pan out, so whilst I am a glass half full kind of person perhaps I'm being a bit unrealistic.
She tells me she doesn't care what she drives, but when I suggest anything else... "no I don't like those"
t pit of a lease car would encourage her to look after it, but her last promise of "I'll definitely look after this one if we get a nice one" did not pan out, so whilst I am a glass half full kind of person perhaps I'm being a bit unrealistic. She tells me she doesn't care what she drives, but when I suggest anything else... "no I don't like those"
I cannot tell you how utterly identical that is to my conversations/thought process.When she got it, for nearly a whole month she didn't let the kids eat in the car, at the end of each journey she removed everything from the car that she had put into the car and it appeared like she might actually mean it.
Then it all stopped from one day to the next. THe car becomes a mobile storage closet, the kids have 5 course banquets in there and of course nobody removes the crap afterwards.
As to the last sentence - again identical. "Okay, what about this then?"......>sullen voice< "If that's what you want to get me" Grrrrrrrrrr
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