Dodgy campsite at home
Discussion
Just got my first taste of Le Mans....
Take one Wickes incinerator, load with work paperwork, old ink wrappers, cake packets, bits of plastic from packing, and general office crap.
Set on fire....
Make sure local pub over the road have a barby eventhough it is raining....
Hey presto...Dodgy Lemans campsite smell.....
Just asked my neighbour if he will bring his car over and donut on my lawn.
Even though he was pissed he was up for it.....
Take one Wickes incinerator, load with work paperwork, old ink wrappers, cake packets, bits of plastic from packing, and general office crap.
Set on fire....
Make sure local pub over the road have a barby eventhough it is raining....
Hey presto...Dodgy Lemans campsite smell.....
Just asked my neighbour if he will bring his car over and donut on my lawn.
Even though he was pissed he was up for it.....
Don't forget if you are in Houx you need to hotwire your house electrics in to the street lighting circuitry (at least 100ft of cable away). You will also need a paddling pool filled with luke warm water and place small green bottles of beer in it. TIP: Also unwrap a Lion bar and float that in there too. This will deter pikeys from stealing your warm beer apparently.
Finally invite all your mates around for the weekend and get them to live in your living room - only. Allow them to piss behind your sofa and be sick wherever they wish.
Finally invite all your mates around for the weekend and get them to live in your living room - only. Allow them to piss behind your sofa and be sick wherever they wish.
You appear to have forgotten to employ a gang of work shy chavs dripping in Elizabeth Duke necklaces to loiter on the road outside. Every car that goes by must rev the nuts off their pride and joy, possible sliding into the bus stop or other parked vehicles. If they refuse, they get a pint of "stuff" thrown into or over the car.
Vette_1978 said:
You appear to have forgotten to employ a gang of work shy chavs dripping in Elizabeth Duke necklaces to loiter on the road outside. Every car that goes by must rev the nuts off their pride and joy, possible sliding into the bus stop or other parked vehicles. If they refuse, they get a pint of "stuff" thrown into or over the car.
I always wonder why it is that the dole monkeys can afford to travel to France and why they would want to stand by the road for two or three days doing this?Another tip, make sure that you get a bucket of fine sand and dust and throw this over your car, then get your mate to draw rude symbols over the car especially if it's a Porsche......
Dont forget to get the Full camping Expo experience. Get 15 blokes around your house and get them all to piss behind the back wall of your garage .Hopefully do this a few days before a family barbeque and better still be sure the garage wall faces south and gets really hot.The smell from those sheds is unbelievable.Now the smell has fermented pitch a tent smack in the middle and proceed to get the food on the go.Dont forget to drop your friends food on the floor but be very careful to wak it back on the barby before anyone notices it .
Next stick your used fag butt in the top of your cheap french beer bottle .Make sure it still has dribble in the bottom.Now leave for a few hours so when your really pissed you forget and take a swig of the fermented beerey fag ash liquid .Now with mouth full and before your mates rip the s
t out of you. Carefully spit it back in the bottle and pretend it never happened.
Next stick your used fag butt in the top of your cheap french beer bottle .Make sure it still has dribble in the bottom.Now leave for a few hours so when your really pissed you forget and take a swig of the fermented beerey fag ash liquid .Now with mouth full and before your mates rip the s
t out of you. Carefully spit it back in the bottle and pretend it never happened. 
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