Today's rant - visibility
Discussion
Yes, once again on an icy morning our neighbour's mouth-breathing, over-coiffeured* "son-in-law to be" got straight in his car* and drove off with his usual thorough preparation:-
- Unlock car.
- Get in, start engine.
- Rev engine hard a few times to try and demist the windscreen a little bit.
- Switch wipers on so they scrape over the ice on the windscreen 3 or 4 times, leaving some narrow gaps you can see through.
- Accelerate hard out of the residential estate while peering though said gaps in the ice.
No attempt made to do anything at all to the rear window, the side windows or the wingmirrors...clearly his ESP tells him where every other road user is!
If it wasn't for the fact that he clearly knows more about cars and driving than me (our one conversation so far elicited this little factoid, as well as the fact that he was having no problems in the snow in the Minis...so little that I had to push him out of our street one morning!
), I'd have a chat to him about the risks he's taking. In two minds whether to mention it to the neighbour or not...
Worryingly, he's not the only one who specced the optional "ESP" when buying their car...anyone else see a lot of these idiots this morning?
* He's a Mini salesman, so not exactly 'his' car.
- Unlock car.
- Get in, start engine.
- Rev engine hard a few times to try and demist the windscreen a little bit.
- Switch wipers on so they scrape over the ice on the windscreen 3 or 4 times, leaving some narrow gaps you can see through.
- Accelerate hard out of the residential estate while peering though said gaps in the ice.
No attempt made to do anything at all to the rear window, the side windows or the wingmirrors...clearly his ESP tells him where every other road user is!
If it wasn't for the fact that he clearly knows more about cars and driving than me (our one conversation so far elicited this little factoid, as well as the fact that he was having no problems in the snow in the Minis...so little that I had to push him out of our street one morning!
), I'd have a chat to him about the risks he's taking. In two minds whether to mention it to the neighbour or not...Worryingly, he's not the only one who specced the optional "ESP" when buying their car...anyone else see a lot of these idiots this morning?
* He's a Mini salesman, so not exactly 'his' car.
Scrape a picture of a gentlemans appendage into the ice on windscreen of his car.
He then has the choice to either look like a cock looking through a cock or clean the windscreen properly.
What ever he chooses I can gaurantee you will feel better.
He then has the choice to either look like a cock looking through a cock or clean the windscreen properly.
What ever he chooses I can gaurantee you will feel better.
Edited by R26Andy on Monday 31st January 13:47
R26Andy said:
Scrape a picture of a gentlemans appendage into the ice on windscreen of his car.
He then has the choice to either look like a cock looking through a cock or clean the windscreen properly.
What ever he chooses I can gaurantee you will feel better.
I like this one!He then has the choice to either look like a cock looking through a cock or clean the windscreen properly.
What ever he chooses I can gaurantee you will feel better.
Edited by R26Andy on Monday 31st January 13:47
tubbystu said:
.
A house brick tucked hard under the nearside rear might work just as well.
I'm not sure if defrosting his car before he sets off would help him find this though? Whether he defrosts his car or not.....why would he check to make sure no one has put a brick under his car? The only lesson that would teach him is "check to make sure no one has put a brick under your car before you set off". No?A house brick tucked hard under the nearside rear might work just as well.
Liking the 'ice sculpture' suggestion! 
(Would probably be more appropriate on the rear window...)
Something behind the car doesn't work as he parks on the kerb opposite our drive (slightly annoying itself, but no crime so we let it lie), and drives off forwards down the road to turn around (hence why he probably feels he doesn't need a clear rear screen).
Heated front screens...hmmm, maybe a couple of their demonstrators have this, and he's too lazy/thick to remember if the car does/doesn't before he drives off.
(Would probably be more appropriate on the rear window...)
Something behind the car doesn't work as he parks on the kerb opposite our drive (slightly annoying itself, but no crime so we let it lie), and drives off forwards down the road to turn around (hence why he probably feels he doesn't need a clear rear screen).
Heated front screens...hmmm, maybe a couple of their demonstrators have this, and he's too lazy/thick to remember if the car does/doesn't before he drives off.
Large water balloon filled with dilute ketchup & diced chicken.
Lob it at the bonnet/screen as he drives past.
He'll void his bowels instantly.
ETA: this is a very silly idea that will only serve to reduce his vision further so don't do it kids, right?
Lob it at the bonnet/screen as he drives past.
He'll void his bowels instantly.
ETA: this is a very silly idea that will only serve to reduce his vision further so don't do it kids, right?
Edited by DrTre on Monday 31st January 15:52
DrTre said:
Large water balloon filled with dilute ketchup & diced chicken.
Lob it at the bonnet/screen as he drives past.
He'll void his bowels instantly.
ETA: this is a very silly idea that will only serve to reduce his vision further so don't do it kids, right?
Hmmm, best not upset you then!Lob it at the bonnet/screen as he drives past.
He'll void his bowels instantly.
ETA: this is a very silly idea that will only serve to reduce his vision further so don't do it kids, right?
Edited by DrTre on Monday 31st January 15:52
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