Anyone recognise this?

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Discussion

Don

Original Poster:

28,377 posts

291 months

Friday 3rd May 2002
quotequote all
Recent research which supports the new "shared services model" for
business practices.

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been
tentatively named "Administratium." Administratium has 1 neutron, 12
assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by
a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A
minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days
to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay
but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes. This
characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that
Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to "Critical Morass."

You will know it when you see it...

MEMSDesign

1,100 posts

277 months

Friday 3rd May 2002
quotequote all
That's uncannily near the mark.

Do you know where it came from. It's definately an old one, and it's been suggested it came from IBM originally.

nonegreen

7,803 posts

277 months

Friday 3rd May 2002
quotequote all
Large quantities of it found in Whitehall?

esselte

14,626 posts

274 months

Friday 3rd May 2002
quotequote all
Sounds very similar to a poem called "Administerium and the science of unclear physics" in a book written by a chap from Manchester called Les Barker.The book was called The Hound of the Basketballs.If you're interested have a look at

www.mrsackroyd.com

CarZee

13,382 posts

274 months

Friday 3rd May 2002
quotequote all
Looks quite amusing... theres a load of MP3s of his stuff on audiogalaxy.com si I'll be able to confirm or deny shortly..

And there was me thinking wordplay was a dead art form (but still flogging the beast )...

HarryW

15,277 posts

276 months

Friday 3rd May 2002
quotequote all
No mention of the 666 rotational fixers attached to the central neutron of admistratium. Whose role is to belch methane and laydown a mist to obscure the visible reflective path, particularly when one of the assistant neutrons has contracted a bovine illness.

Harry

Not so sure I should post this as the phrase(zogg/the/he's planet/from - rearrange as necessary) comes to mind, but what the feck.