Mark & Lard

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ZZR600

Original Poster:

15,605 posts

275 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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How do they get away with it ! just had a right old larf at lards record collection with a hashed up version of puff the magic dragon with false scratches in the record to make the lyrics say somthing else , Bloody funny

scottster

627 posts

272 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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Missed that but did anyone hear radio 1 or Kiss this morning?

In the competition a girl said "fk me" accidently (easily done) which was brilliant (and very embarassing for Sarah Cox.

On Kiss, about 15 mins later with guest Holly Valence in the studio a guy phones in and asks live whether she gives good head? Bit crass but pure class and very funny.

nmlowe

1,666 posts

274 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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Diddn't hear it myself, but they come out with some cracking one-offs, I remebmer a few of their christmas ones. Its a shame that we never hear them again. Maybe they should launch a CD with them all on.

vinny

101 posts

274 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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Mark and Lark are bonkers. But great.Nuff said

>> Edited by vinny on Friday 26th April 14:42

element

63 posts

272 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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did anyone use to listen to them between 2200 and 2400 a few years back? I gave up the telly for a couple of years coz of them. I still have the last ever night time show on tape....
Finishes with Nick Drake - class.

CarZee

13,382 posts

274 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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Certainly did... Graveyard Shift - those were the days..

Much better program than the watered down pap they're forced to produce for the afternoon audience..

plotloss

67,280 posts

277 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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Didnt used to listen to them late, but the Mary Whitehouse Experience on Radio 1 at Midnight on Fridays was epically funny.

On the subject of saying things you shouldnt I got an e:mail about that very subject ages ago and recounted it to so many people I may as well recount it here!:

Australian Radio Show offering a holiday to Bali for someone who can come up with a new word and then work it into a sentence.

Caller 1: Hi, I'd like to enter the competition

DJ: OK, your're on air, go ahead, whats your word?

Caller 1: GAAN, spelt G-A-A-N

DJ: Ok, go on use GAAN in a sentence.

Caller 1: Ga'an fcuk yerself [hangs up]

DJ: [pause] Oh, thats silly, lets not have any more of that kind of thing, this is a serious competition.

[The show goes on and 8 or 10 people call and give there words and sentences]

DJ: OK, lets take one final call and then we can give that holiday away!

Caller 11: Oh, g'day, I'd like to enter the competition to win a trip to Bali

DJ: OK, go ahead, you're on the air, whats your word?

Caller 11: The word is SMEE, spelt S-M-E-E

DJ OK, thats good, now use it in a sentence

Caller 11: Smee again, ga'an fcuk yourself!

Sheer class!

Matt.

Spiderman

60 posts

275 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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Bring back Fat Harry White I say.How did they ever get away with all those double entendres on an afternoon show!

ZZR600

Original Poster:

15,605 posts

275 months

Friday 26th April 2002
quotequote all
quote:

Bring back Fat Harry White I say.How did they ever get away with all those double entendres on an afternoon show!



The soft top bedford rascal van with the vicars wife in the back beating the bishop ......... at chess

DavidP

371 posts

279 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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Heard a story of gridlock in London due to a Tarrant phone in on the Capital Radio breakfast drive-time job. Competition was to guess the name of a TV personality based on a theme tune. They played the tune for the Formula One program…. for which the personality required to win the prize was Murray Walker.

The girl who had phoned in was struggling and pleaded for a clue. After much persuasion (because it was allegedly so easy), Tarrant said “you put it in your mouth and suck it” (I.e. Murray Mint).

After a momentary pause, the girl proudly said “Oh yeah…Dickie Davies”

Apparently there were cars careering off the Finchley Road.

plotloss

67,280 posts

277 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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When Chris Evans was doing the R1 breakfast show he came on at about 7.30 after a big silence and said in a public announcement voice

Number 23: Things not to say in a gay bar.

'Can I push your stool in for you?'

That very nearly had me off the road.

Matt.

Don

28,377 posts

291 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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plotloss,

1) Nice to meet you and Missus Plotloss at the Basingstoke PHers...hope to see you at another one...

2) Did you used to live in Aus because I seem to remember a conversation like the one you mention with the "Amazing Dr Doug" in Sydney....

englishman in LA

291 posts

280 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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An urban legend, but funny as hell non the less...

Presenter: Gidday its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game?

Brian: Yeah, sure.

Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex?

Brian: Ohhh, maaaate. Ha ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning.

Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian?

Brian: Orrrrr . . . about 10 minutes.

Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it mate?

Brian: Ohhhh maaaaate, I can't say that.

Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian!

Brian: O.K. . . . O.K. . . . On the kitchen table.

Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter) Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife?

Brian: Yeah, alright.

Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you?

Sharelle: Hi. Good, thanks.

Presenter: (Explains competition again.) We've got Brian on the other line. Say Hello.

Sharelle: Hi, Brian.

Brian: Hi, Sharelle.

Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian, and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali.

Brian: Just tell the truth, Honey.

Sharelle: O.K.

Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex?

Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio.

Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them.

Sharelle: O.K. . . . About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work.

Presenter: Good, nice start ! Next question: How long did it go for, Sharelle?

Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes.

Co-Presenter: That's close enough. Brian was just being a gentleman.

Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it?

Sharelle: Oh no, I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no.

Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here.

Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway. Just tell 'em!

Sharelle: Ohhhh . . . alright . . . Up the arse!


Radio Silence

Advert

Presenter: Sorry if anyone was offended before. We're going live here, and sometimes these things happen. We've given Brian and Sharelle the holiday. Now we'll take a music break.


>> Edited by englishman in LA on Friday 26th April 23:29

Roadrunner

2,690 posts

274 months

Friday 26th April 2002
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F*cking awesome!! Bloody marvellous!!

ZZR600

Original Poster:

15,605 posts

275 months

Saturday 27th April 2002
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