Thursday 14th October 2010

PH Fleet Update: Land Rover Defender

'Vive La Difference' as we take our Landie for a 'romantic' trip to Paris

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"Take the Defender to the Paris show," he said. "Do a bit of flag-waving - show those Parisians what a real 4x4 looks like". Chris-R's enthusiastic words were echoing around my head as I squeezed through the maniacal rush hour traffic, gently seething at the apparent stupidity of it all.

A battered Renault Twingo with not a single straight panel would surely be the most suitable weapon with which to attack the French capital and its psychotic scooterists, impatient motorists and laneless junctions - not a chunky off-roader with the turning circle of a super-tanker.

Still, there are distinct advantages to tackling city traffic in the Defender. Firstly, on the basis that might is right, people are more inclined to get out of your way than they perhaps would be if you were in a smaller car less seemingly capable of crushing other city drivers under your wheels. Despite its imposing stature, however, the big Landie is impressively slim-hipped - it's narrower than our Nissan 370z - and so can squeeze around awkwardly placed buses and other urban bottlenecks with surprising ease.

There are, however, two severe drawbacks to the Defender's city abilities - its height and its turning circle. At 2128mm tall, the Defender is a no-no for most multi-storey or underground car parks.

Finding an on-street space can be equally challenging, especially in the maze of back alleys of Paris's Latin Quarter, where I had rather masochistically booked myself a hotel. It's not so much the parallel parking that's tricky as trying to manage a three-point turn. Austin Powers's attempt to turn around an electric cart in a service tunnel in Dr Evil's lair would have sprung to the mind of anybody watching me.

The Landie was rather more accomplished as a long-distance cruiser.
Once you adjust to the wind noise and vibrations, you can sit back and enjoy the scenery, with the extra height giving you crucially more interesting and frequent glimpses of the northern French countryside than all but truckers and coach drivers enjoy.

You can also drive unperturbed by the potential attentions of les gendarmes - even with foot nailed flat on the accelerator pedal - as the electronically limited top speed of 83mph is but 2mph north of the autoroute limit of 130kmh, hardly enough to worry the boys en bleu.

In short, the Defender actually makes a surprisingly effective weapon with which to fight the urban battle (and I'm damn sure a ratty Renault Twingo would be near useless in the muddy stuff). I'd almost go so far as to recommend a Defender as a steed for a foreign mini-break. Just make sure you book a hotel with some outdoor parking space...

PS. Don't forget Landie fans - we're still looking for (paying!) volunteers to join us for a fab evening at Eastnor Castle on Nov 13th.

[edo]

tres bon.

[Greg348]

I often had to drive one of these around Cambridge city about 10 years ago.

I was bloody terrible! Slow, cumbersome, noisy, appalling heater and it made my bad back even more bad...

[p1doc]

great-i am just imagining you do a 3 point turn now with all those impatient french drivers lol
martin

[mvalek1]

drove mine to slovakia and back in the summer. lots of admiring looks, dont think anyone ever seen one there before. however, it was slow, noisy and like a form of torture on the autobahn where we seemed to be going backwards.

[Prev]

Any chance you could do a road test of how it handles on the Ring? One of these might save me from getting done for speeding 20mins after landing on French soil.

But on a serious note you guy's looked in to this company. http://twistedperformance.co.uk/

Edited by Prev on Thursday 14th October 09:31

[ANS2vrs370]

• cough* whose 370Z?

[angusc43]

I once met a Defender-driving mate and his wife at Stanstead airport. They'd driven their Defender up from Devon. They looked like a pair of Chilean miners......

[Escort Si-130]

I hate the driving position, the feel and drive of the thing is worse than an old commercial vehicle. However I love it for nostalgia, i guess you have to really love it to drive it and want one. I drove an early 90's model. I assume the one now would be slightly more updated.

[Chris-R]

ANS2vrs370 said:

*cough* whose 370Z?

Humblest apologies!

[Gizmo!]

Er, Riggers...

I think you put the wrong thing in the sat-nav?

This is clearly Blackpool.

Edited by Gizmo! on Thursday 14th October 10:04

[Wozy68]

edo said:

tres bon.

Makes me proud. ......... and the newest Defender is a fine long distance cruiser if you make allowances for its baulk and fact its based on an off-road vehicle.

But the greatest advantage of a defender is that it makes each journey an adventure. Be it be to Paris or the local supermarket.

[Laurel Green]

^^^^

[Pothole]

or even bulk.

[DCS01]

Why did you have a problem parking - park it on top of any french car.

[Europa1]

Greg 348: "I was bloody terrible! Slow, cumbersome, noisy, appalling "

Greg, what was the Landie like, though?

[andy_s]

Gizmo! said:

I thought you said it was too tall for a multistorey - mmmmm, embellishment m'lud!

[Riggers]

andy_s said:

Gizmo! said:

I thought you said it was too tall for a multistorey - mmmmm, embellishment m'lud!

That was the high vehicle bit at the Paris Expo... but you have a point... Can I call journalistic license as a defence??

[HellDiver]

Greg348 said:

I often had to drive one of these around Cambridge city about 10 years ago.

A Puma powered Defender 10 years ago? Really?

[andy_s]

Riggers said:

andy_s said:

Gizmo! said:

I thought you said it was too tall for a multistorey - mmmmm, embellishment m'lud!

That was the high vehicle bit at the Paris Expo... but you have a point... Can I call journalistic license as a defence??

You're free to leave the court sir, we'll say no more about it

[pits]

edo said:

tres bon.

Tres, Simon Le bon?