Off-topic: why did the chicken cross the road?

Off-topic: why did the chicken cross the road?

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manek

Original Poster:

2,977 posts

291 months

Thursday 21st February 2002
quotequote all
PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market on the other side of the street. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.

Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken marshal its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-section of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit,
and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of successfully architecting, implementing, and delivering an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based,
industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message, aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.

Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

Joke Police

1 posts

273 months

Thursday 21st February 2002
quotequote all
Now then sonny, have you got a license to tell p*ss poor jokes on this 'ere website?

You could get 15 years for telling a joke that old...

I'll let you go with a warning this time....

mind how you go....

HarryW

15,276 posts

276 months

Thursday 21st February 2002
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Manek I hope you cut and pasted that joke, as the thought of you typing it, worries me

Harry

hertsbiker

6,371 posts

278 months

Thursday 21st February 2002
quotequote all
AC fcuked my company up.
I am not a fan of them at all. Perhaps they are the reason I have not job right now.
Please don't ever mention them again........

MikeyT

16,925 posts

278 months

Thursday 21st February 2002
quotequote all
quote:

AC fcuked my company up.



I once worked for a company that went onto the unlisted securities market. All this was handled by AC – think they were just Arthur Andersen then.

Four months later, the co. was wound up and we were made redundant.

Where did all the money go AC?

manek

Original Poster:

2,977 posts

291 months

Thursday 21st February 2002
quotequote all
quote:

Manek I hope you cut and pasted that joke, as the thought of you typing it, worries me

Harry



Yeah, sorry. Bit bored thassall...:-)

Bruce Fielding

2,244 posts

289 months

Friday 22nd February 2002
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PLEASE don't flame me, but...

No I don't work for AC/Accenture... but I have been employed by them as a specialist a couple of years ago and I can tell you where the money goes - It's pi$$ed away on making expensive outsourced consultants sit around for days in hotels in the south of france whilst waiting to be asked to do something! At least, that was my experience. 6 days pay for an afternoon's work. And, yes, I am knocking it, because a) I know the people whose money they were wasting, and b) I couldn't even get out of the hotel and down to the beach. Ba$tard$.

manek

Original Poster:

2,977 posts

291 months

Saturday 23rd February 2002
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I hope no-one interpreted my message as a plug for them. That wasn't how I read it...more as a piss-take.