Most useless car accessory of all time ??

[moffspeed]

OK, I'll start with 3 nominations :

1) anti-lift windscreen wiper blades, the chavs fit them to the hatchback wiper of their Fiestas to prevent the dreaded wiper-lift when they reverse at high speed.

2) a neat little device that I saw for sale on a cross-channel ferry. A small circular plastic box that you stick on the dashboard when touring abroad. When you push the button the microchip chirps up with "drive on the right". Hang-on if you remember to push the button you must be remembering to drive on the right, no ?

3) For those of you of a certain age, the rubber earthing strap that dangled from your bumper and prevented car sickness...err no.

Any offers ?

[Onz]

That driving glove some muppet dreamt up on Dragons' Den..."wear the glove on the right hand to remind you to drive on the right side of the road" - elicited a rather rapid "Aaahhm Ooooooot" from Mr. Bannatyne!

Edited by Onz on Friday 11th April 20:02

[Puggit]

There was some idiot on Dragons Den pitching for a company which made right hand only gloves. Apparently it would remind you to drive on the right when abroad

Edited to add - beaten to it, but it didn't take me 2 mins to type that!!

Edited by Puggit on Friday 11th April 20:04

[_Deano]

moffspeed said:

OK, I'll start with 3 nominations :

1) anti-lift windscreen wiper blades, the chavs fit them to the hatchback wiper of their Fiestas to prevent the dreaded wiper-lift when they reverse at high speed.

2) a neat little device that I saw for sale on a cross-channel ferry. A small circular plastic box that you stick on the dashboard when touring abroad. When you push the button the microchip chirps up with "drive on the right". Hang-on if you remember to push the button you must be remembering to drive on the right, no ?

3) For those of you of a certain age, the rubber earthing strap that dangled from your bumper and prevented car sickness...err no.

Any offers ?

3) wasn't that strap used to prevent static build up on the valour (sp?) seats used in the 80's?

[Onz]

Puggit said:

Edited to add - beaten to it, but it didn't take me 2 mins to type that!!

Edited by Puggit on Friday 11th April 20:04

It was clearly memorable, just a pity it was such a daft idea!

Edited by Onz on Friday 11th April 20:06

[moffspeed]

_Deano said:

moffspeed said:

OK, I'll start with 3 nominations :

3) For those of you of a certain age, the rubber earthing strap that dangled from your bumper and prevented car sickness...err no.


3) wasn't that strap used to prevent static build up on the valour (sp?) seats used in the 80's?

My God - you believed it ?

[gruffgriff]

moffspeed said:

2) A small circular plastic box that you stick on the dashboard when touring abroad. When you push the button the microchip chirps up with "drive on the right". Hang-on if you remember to push the button you must be remembering to drive on the right, no ?

Fabulous. How much cash and how many people thinking that was a good idea got it manufactured, marketed and on-sale? Just fabulous!

[andynoquantum]

The aero wipers are quite good with a particularly curved windscreen. Standard ones lift off the screen above a certain speed in the Elan

[_Deano]

moffspeed said:

_Deano said:

moffspeed said:

OK, I'll start with 3 nominations :

3) For those of you of a certain age, the rubber earthing strap that dangled from your bumper and prevented car sickness...err no.


3) wasn't that strap used to prevent static build up on the valour (sp?) seats used in the 80's?

My God - you believed it ?

Not really. When i was younger and in the car with my dad, i saw one on the back of an old Ford Escort and asked him. That is what he told me; to prevent the build up of static. I must have been about 8 at the time.



Forgot to add.
The balls that go on the end of the car ariel.

Edited by _Deano on Friday 11th April 20:16

[Sixpackpert]

Most of the crap in Halfrauds.

[halo25]

A dim memory of a silly little black box that was supposed to tell you if your battery was ok or not.....via a series of LED's

Doesn't most of halfwits emporium (Halfords) count as well?

Edited by halo25 on Friday 11th April 20:21

[Firkin Dogbolter]

Stick on holder for your sunglasses, only it fell off the dash more than the glasses it should have held.

[moffspeed]

..and another one. If you own a classic car that sits in the garage all winter you can buy custom rubber mats that mimic the contour of your tyres and prevent "expensive flat spotting", £125 a set , what a bargain.

Personally I prefer to wander into the garage every fortnight or so, fire the car up and move it forward a foot and then turn it off. Saves me £125 and another £500 by preventing the clutch/brakes from binding, an even bigger bargain.

[ELAN+2]

leopard skin seat covers
dummy car phones (deluxe ones plugged into the cigarette lighter socket and had light up keys!)
dummy mobile phone aerials
puke straps (those anti static efforts)
turbo whistle tail pipe trims
the 'Avenger' silly noise thing (sounded like a machine gun, deathray and bomb falling noises)
window louvres for the rear quarter glass and rear screens on some
richard grant body kits
"whale tail" spoilers
eleventy million watt front spots/fogs on dodgy brackets
Night rider light for the front grille

I once saw an ad in an ancient Autocar for a cigarette dispenser, that delivered a lit cigarette! (i had visions of it having an 'izm' and lobbing lit cigs all over the interior of the car !)

[Timberwolf]

The '80s were great for this sort of thing. The best example of the genre were little plastic hands or fake animal tails that you clipped on to your bootlid, as if to suggest someone or something was trapped inside. "Crikey", people following would exclaim in wonderment, "what a sense of humour the driver in front must have!"

Admittedly, they weren't even pretending to be useful like truly great crap car accessories...

[drivin_me_nuts]

Patek Phillipe diamond encrused Skoda watch key fob

[Westy Pre-Lit]

Gold plated tissue box.

Why they get put on the rear parcel shelf is anybodies guess.

And what's with the furry tassel things

Edited by Westy Pre-Lit on Friday 11th April 20:36

[jeff m]

Road tax sticker
Nodding dog
Anything hanging from the mirror

[kiwisr]

The keys to an Austin Princess.

[dustybottoms]

I remember seeing an advert for exhaust pipe attachments that created a flame via a spark thingymajig for that authentic touring cars look! Can't say I ever saw one on the road though.

My pet hate though, is without doubt blue neon windscreen washer lights, how st do they look! You see so many cars with them on, what goes through the owners mind to think that looks anything but ste? Fresh air I guess!