The embarssing moments
Discussion
Must be a thread surely.
Trip to a Caravan Club site, in Somerset. Jut joined so not got the book with directions, relied upon SatNav. Single track lane, no idea if going in the right direction, no chance of turning around. Van touching both sides. Saw a farm who confirmed that it was 600 yards further on, on the wide bit of road that we should have been on.
More worrying was a trip from the South of France. Missed my turning at Lyon onto the ring road, so decided to go through the centre. Was doing well until pushed out of my lane by an ambulance. Now headed wrong way, and into a one way system. Could see corresponding road, running parralel down another 'thin' road. No problem as roads I was turning from and into were wide. Unfortunately they had closed the 'thin' road halfway down. Parked cars everywhere, lots of maneuoving.
Part of the french return, day of departure, I could not sleep. Decided to get an early start at 4AM. quietly lifted the legs to find a car parked where the rear would swing on a corner. Get wedged. reverse, unhook and pull it around by hand. Get to the exit. Barrier locked down. Sleep in car for 2 hours.
Must be some more....
PS One from my father. I can do it I don't need watching. Crunch as branch goes through rear window.
Trip to a Caravan Club site, in Somerset. Jut joined so not got the book with directions, relied upon SatNav. Single track lane, no idea if going in the right direction, no chance of turning around. Van touching both sides. Saw a farm who confirmed that it was 600 yards further on, on the wide bit of road that we should have been on.
More worrying was a trip from the South of France. Missed my turning at Lyon onto the ring road, so decided to go through the centre. Was doing well until pushed out of my lane by an ambulance. Now headed wrong way, and into a one way system. Could see corresponding road, running parralel down another 'thin' road. No problem as roads I was turning from and into were wide. Unfortunately they had closed the 'thin' road halfway down. Parked cars everywhere, lots of maneuoving.
Part of the french return, day of departure, I could not sleep. Decided to get an early start at 4AM. quietly lifted the legs to find a car parked where the rear would swing on a corner. Get wedged. reverse, unhook and pull it around by hand. Get to the exit. Barrier locked down. Sleep in car for 2 hours.
Must be some more....
PS One from my father. I can do it I don't need watching. Crunch as branch goes through rear window.
In Budapest having driven up from Romania on a mammoth run. About 8pm, dark, worst storms they've had in decades and no satnav (we thought we were being adventurous but in hindsight just plain retarded not to take satnav thought Europe).
Could not find the campsite and googlemaps on the iPhone not working well. We ended up in a narrow suburban area. I attempted a 3 point turn but because of the poor visibility I backed up into the kerb. Not a problem in the uk, but in Budapest the kerbs are much taller and it punctured the fuel tank!!
The funniest thing was when I got out to check and saw diesel pissing out, I told the gf to get something to plug the hole. She brought out te first thing to come to hand - a tiny thong! Women!!
Could not find the campsite and googlemaps on the iPhone not working well. We ended up in a narrow suburban area. I attempted a 3 point turn but because of the poor visibility I backed up into the kerb. Not a problem in the uk, but in Budapest the kerbs are much taller and it punctured the fuel tank!!
The funniest thing was when I got out to check and saw diesel pissing out, I told the gf to get something to plug the hole. She brought out te first thing to come to hand - a tiny thong! Women!!
I've got many horror stories,a few too shameful to mention but a couple from quite a while ago are-
1) Drove off in a van with the mains cable still attached,neatly removing the spoiler from a colleagues Saxo like a cheesewire!
2) Had some customers picking up their new van,took in to fuel up while they were paying and got it wedged between a parked car and on-coming artic, boss and customer were not happy at the £2500 worth of damage.
Many other disasters and indiscretions over the years and several vans that went out with mismatching front and rear number plates or indeed one with the wrong plates altogether so always check all your plates are correct when buying a new van and check EVERYTHING before driving away!
1) Drove off in a van with the mains cable still attached,neatly removing the spoiler from a colleagues Saxo like a cheesewire!
2) Had some customers picking up their new van,took in to fuel up while they were paying and got it wedged between a parked car and on-coming artic, boss and customer were not happy at the £2500 worth of damage.
Many other disasters and indiscretions over the years and several vans that went out with mismatching front and rear number plates or indeed one with the wrong plates altogether so always check all your plates are correct when buying a new van and check EVERYTHING before driving away!
Brand spanking new Bailey Virginia sat on the drive hooked up to the Jeep and ready for our first ever trip in it
...
Wife says "I'd back up a bit before going forward if I were you, the top corner is very close to the house guttering"
Rubbish, it's miles away, I'll just put a bit of lock on and the back end will miss the house easily.....
Ripped off the marker light and half the guttering
....
Still get reminded of it to this day
...Wife says "I'd back up a bit before going forward if I were you, the top corner is very close to the house guttering"
Rubbish, it's miles away, I'll just put a bit of lock on and the back end will miss the house easily.....
Ripped off the marker light and half the guttering
....Still get reminded of it to this day
mojitomax said:
She brought out te first thing to come to hand - a tiny thong! Women!!
Lucky you, I reckon if my Mrs brought out her big knickers she could have stopped the Deep Horizon spill.Some real classics on here which ring a bell. So far I have managed to :
- drive off with the breakaway cable still attached (doesn't half make a bang!)
- not hitched up correctly only for the the van to detach itself on a speed bump at the exit of the campsite infront of a large number of onlookers. Of course accomanied by breakaway cable large bang number two.
- cracked some other blokes rear indicator when pushing mine into storage. Mind you the storage place I was using gave about 1" clearance around the vans and I had to push mine up a slight incline on gravel to get it in. Lovely.
- Blew a inercooler pipe on the Volvo in Austria. This resulted in me sitting in the Volvo on a flatbed with the caravan being towed behind it. The caravan was brought back 500miles by the recovery service to our house in Bonn.
- Pissed off some Germans and Dutch by flooding their campsites at night when my freshwater hose popped off the tap and lovely clean water gushe dout for hours into everyone elses awning but ours.
The other thing I would say is that you're not properly married until you have reveresed the caravan in a busy street in the rain with the wife giving directions....
Thud_Mcguffin said:
Lucky you, I reckon if my Mrs brought out her big knickers she could have stopped the Deep Horizon spill.
Some real classics on here which ring a bell. So far I have managed to :
- drive off with the breakaway cable still attached (doesn't half make a bang!)
- not hitched up correctly only for the the van to detach itself on a speed bump at the exit of the campsite infront of a large number of onlookers. Of course accomanied by breakaway cable large bang number two.
- cracked some other blokes rear indicator when pushing mine into storage. Mind you the storage place I was using gave about 1" clearance around the vans and I had to push mine up a slight incline on gravel to get it in. Lovely.
- Blew a inercooler pipe on the Volvo in Austria. This resulted in me sitting in the Volvo on a flatbed with the caravan being towed behind it. The caravan was brought back 500miles by the recovery service to our house in Bonn.
- Pissed off some Germans and Dutch by flooding their campsites at night when my freshwater hose popped off the tap and lovely clean water gushe dout for hours into everyone elses awning but ours.
The other thing I would say is that you're not properly married until you have reveresed the caravan in a busy street in the rain with the wife giving directions....
Ahhh how this does remind me of a couple of incidents: -Some real classics on here which ring a bell. So far I have managed to :
- drive off with the breakaway cable still attached (doesn't half make a bang!)
- not hitched up correctly only for the the van to detach itself on a speed bump at the exit of the campsite infront of a large number of onlookers. Of course accomanied by breakaway cable large bang number two.
- cracked some other blokes rear indicator when pushing mine into storage. Mind you the storage place I was using gave about 1" clearance around the vans and I had to push mine up a slight incline on gravel to get it in. Lovely.
- Blew a inercooler pipe on the Volvo in Austria. This resulted in me sitting in the Volvo on a flatbed with the caravan being towed behind it. The caravan was brought back 500miles by the recovery service to our house in Bonn.
- Pissed off some Germans and Dutch by flooding their campsites at night when my freshwater hose popped off the tap and lovely clean water gushe dout for hours into everyone elses awning but ours.
The other thing I would say is that you're not properly married until you have reveresed the caravan in a busy street in the rain with the wife giving directions....
- Done the drive off with the breakaway cable attached, but it didnt break so realised before moving too far!
- When van new to us, daughter first one up, and complains there's water on floor. Dad says "Must be condensation from the rooflight" gets up to investigate and discovers the rooflight has totally vanished. Dunno what chaos that caused on the motorway as it flew off!
- Bringing home new to us van and deciding to park it on front lawn, however theres a very soft patch from where I have dug out a tree to get it on. Therefore decide car will sink in that patch. No problem reverse car and caravan to edge of that patch. Then disconnect caravan push it rest of way. Then discover quite how heavy a caravan is on a slight slope, when grass is wet. Witness wife and I on our backsides trying to hold caravan as it runs gracefully into the brand new porch. Fortunately there where a few potted plants to take most of the strain so no damage to porch or caravan. Had to put a rope on van and use car to drag it back out. Since created level hard standing for it.
turned up to my pitch in brighton with my new girlfriend and tent, only forgot the tent poles 2hrs drive later I cam back with poles then discovered we had no pegs. This was after I had convinced her I was an outdoors expert and come across all rough and rugged because I thought women loved that, I was 18.
Not long after got the caravan managed to separate the front and side panel from the chassis. Made it to the terminal with no problems but was a bit early. Disappeared off following a friend and managed to hit a kerb on a roundabout. Unfortunately it was a high kerb and punctured the tyre. I thought that was the only damage till damp started appearing.
Always forgetting the breakaway cable.
Always forgetting the breakaway cable.
Woke up at 5 in the morning at Oulton Park desperate for a "number 2". Knew I'd left it too late to run to the proper loo block and so the only option would be the rancid porta loo things just across from where we'd pitched. I'd carefully chosen our campsite should this need arise as I knew the huge quantities of beer and curry likely to be consumed might speed up my metabolism somewhat.
I jumped out of the sleeping bag, realised that I was still quite pissed, bounced about on the airbed trying to find some trousers while the missus rolled off grunting about something or other, gave up, donned a fleece and some rigger boots and zig zagged as fast as my wobbly panicky legs would carry me to the bog hoping I'd get there in time and wouldn't have to abandon my boxers upon return. There were quite few people milling about for some reason but luckily there was a free one that wasn't completely awful so I took my seat and relaxed. Very loudly.
Then I noticed the door was still open
I jumped out of the sleeping bag, realised that I was still quite pissed, bounced about on the airbed trying to find some trousers while the missus rolled off grunting about something or other, gave up, donned a fleece and some rigger boots and zig zagged as fast as my wobbly panicky legs would carry me to the bog hoping I'd get there in time and wouldn't have to abandon my boxers upon return. There were quite few people milling about for some reason but luckily there was a free one that wasn't completely awful so I took my seat and relaxed. Very loudly.
Then I noticed the door was still open
festival, 1 man tent pitched. evening of beer and loud music. weather was horrendous and a proper quagmire.
returned to tent pretty sloshed, removed hiking boots and placed them in the small porch. went to sleep, 30 minutes later wake up busting for a piss, now the ground is muddy as anything so i need to get my boots on without getting the mud all inside the tent, lashed up in the dark. first boot on and was half stood up out the front of the tent pulling second boot on, lost my balance and dropped backwards flattening (and snapping) all the tent poles in the process.
returned to tent pretty sloshed, removed hiking boots and placed them in the small porch. went to sleep, 30 minutes later wake up busting for a piss, now the ground is muddy as anything so i need to get my boots on without getting the mud all inside the tent, lashed up in the dark. first boot on and was half stood up out the front of the tent pulling second boot on, lost my balance and dropped backwards flattening (and snapping) all the tent poles in the process.
jjones said:
festival, 1 man tent pitched. evening of beer and loud music. weather was horrendous and a proper quagmire.
returned to tent pretty sloshed, removed hiking boots and placed them in the small porch. went to sleep, 30 minutes later wake up busting for a piss, now the ground is muddy as anything so i need to get my boots on without getting the mud all inside the tent, lashed up in the dark. first boot on and was half stood up out the front of the tent pulling second boot on, lost my balance and dropped backwards flattening (and snapping) all the tent poles in the process.
returned to tent pretty sloshed, removed hiking boots and placed them in the small porch. went to sleep, 30 minutes later wake up busting for a piss, now the ground is muddy as anything so i need to get my boots on without getting the mud all inside the tent, lashed up in the dark. first boot on and was half stood up out the front of the tent pulling second boot on, lost my balance and dropped backwards flattening (and snapping) all the tent poles in the process.
jjones said:
festival, 1 man tent pitched. evening of beer and loud music. weather was horrendous and a proper quagmire.
returned to tent pretty sloshed, removed hiking boots and placed them in the small porch. went to sleep, 30 minutes later wake up busting for a piss, now the ground is muddy as anything so i need to get my boots on without getting the mud all inside the tent, lashed up in the dark. first boot on and was half stood up out the front of the tent pulling second boot on, lost my balance and dropped backwards flattening (and snapping) all the tent poles in the process.
I thought that was going to end up with you pissing in one of your boots!! returned to tent pretty sloshed, removed hiking boots and placed them in the small porch. went to sleep, 30 minutes later wake up busting for a piss, now the ground is muddy as anything so i need to get my boots on without getting the mud all inside the tent, lashed up in the dark. first boot on and was half stood up out the front of the tent pulling second boot on, lost my balance and dropped backwards flattening (and snapping) all the tent poles in the process.
Glastonbury 2 years ago, England are playing, arrive pitch tent leg it to pyramid stage with gallon of Scrumpy (proper scrumpy)
Sit in the sun for 2 hours and drink scrumpy stagger back with the OH and I start to feel scrumpy belly, take a diversion via the portaloos
Now we have a system at festivals the OH selects the loo, I wait for hee and use it after.the theory being if its OK to her it OK for me, so she says do you want to wait for me? Nope haven't got time will meet you by the tap
Get into loo, unleash scrumpy hell and relax, look to my left (panic slightly) look to my right, f
k they dont put loo roll in the loos at Glasto, I'm now hot, sweaty and have no loo roll, I look at my socks and think about sacrifising them, decide the best bet is to waddle to the next loo
Open the door and see my OH at the end of the block with a roll of Andrex and a huge smile, "Looking for this?"
Never been so pleased to see her apparently I as sat there for a good 20 mins pissed wondering what to do
Sit in the sun for 2 hours and drink scrumpy stagger back with the OH and I start to feel scrumpy belly, take a diversion via the portaloos
Now we have a system at festivals the OH selects the loo, I wait for hee and use it after.the theory being if its OK to her it OK for me, so she says do you want to wait for me? Nope haven't got time will meet you by the tap
Get into loo, unleash scrumpy hell and relax, look to my left (panic slightly) look to my right, f
k they dont put loo roll in the loos at Glasto, I'm now hot, sweaty and have no loo roll, I look at my socks and think about sacrifising them, decide the best bet is to waddle to the next looOpen the door and see my OH at the end of the block with a roll of Andrex and a huge smile, "Looking for this?"
Never been so pleased to see her apparently I as sat there for a good 20 mins pissed wondering what to do
Not as embarrassing as most on here, but... out on a first outing with a new 'van, everyone was helping to set up outside so once I was done inside I went out too and shut the door behind me. The realisation that the keys were inside and that this model automatically locked itself when the door was shut was less than fun. 
Friends of mine collected their new motor home and headed off to France for a trip. In some village they parked up and being a bit paranoid about getting their pride and joy nicked, chained it to telegraph pole.
Had a wander about, jumped in the van and drove off, made it nearly 2 feet before coming to an abrupt halt.
I presume that everyone with a caravan has at some stage unhooked and someone (the wife) has got inside and walked to the rear forcing the caravan to do a wheely?
Had a wander about, jumped in the van and drove off, made it nearly 2 feet before coming to an abrupt halt.
I presume that everyone with a caravan has at some stage unhooked and someone (the wife) has got inside and walked to the rear forcing the caravan to do a wheely?
crikey said:
We've just got back from the Isle of Wight, a holiday which started with us handing over the paperwork at the ferry terminal to be told we were a day early !
Guess who made the booking
That reminds me of booking the Ferry to Le Mans year. Go on the website and book the ferry, enter payment details hit send, and then realise I've fouled up. I managed to book us on the 1st ferry to return to the UK after our arrival in France.Guess who made the booking
A nice cheap ferry deal turned in to an expensive one by the time I had paid the admin fee to sort it. However I guess at least I realised early.
I was proabably 12 years old caravaning with my parents in France. We had to leave the campsite at 2/3am for the ferry crossing. Dad puts the caravan on the car but for some reason (too sleepy) forgets to put it fully onto the tow ball so its kind of just resting on top.
On leaving the campsite hit a bump and the caravan seperates from the car, emergency brake was connected and activates with such force it jams the caravan brakes on. This left the caravan immobile in the middle of a busy road.
On leaving the campsite hit a bump and the caravan seperates from the car, emergency brake was connected and activates with such force it jams the caravan brakes on. This left the caravan immobile in the middle of a busy road.
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