Cure For Addiction To Chocolate Needed

[EmmaP]

My friend has been a chocoholic for at least 16 years. To be honest I don't know how she has avoided diabetes. I know that at one point she was eating 5 bars a day. She can eat a 1lb box of chocolates in one sitting. She has been to her GP and they recommended her rationing her intake and doing more exercise. She did try restricting her intake to Friday night and weekends and she put pictures of her up at home when she was particularly over-weight. She did manage to lose about a stone doing this but now she's back to square one. She texted me a couple of days ago to say she is really depressed as she has hit 13 stone. She is only F503

Myself and several of her friends are very concerned for her and really want to help her. She tends to eat more chocolate when she is depressed so it is a bit of a vicious circle. I have in the past suggested hypno-therapy but she didn't show any interest in this. She just says, she can't stop herself. Aversion therapy won't work as I really don't think she can eat enough to make herself sick and put her off

I would be very grateful of any serious suggestions. A friend and I are willing to pay for therapy.

[SplatSpeed]

coke!

[Efbe]

She needs to move in with a male friend for 2 weeks. Someone that will be strict with her, and look after her

[The Nur]

Someone needs to be harsh with her, really give her a fking good talking to. Show her some pictures of people with amputated limbs from diabetes, that sort of thing, shock therapy. Either that or pictures of monstrously obese people. Really drive the point home.

Also I bet she could eat enough to make herself sick, anybody could.


To be honest I doubt you will get much sympathy here for someone who can't help them self from eating chocolate, I just get the feeling that PH isn't going to be particularly receptive to it.

SplatSpeed said:

coke!

Splat is right, its bloody impossible to eat on coke!

[EmmaP]

She at her mum's at the moment and I know she'll be really strict with her. We shared a house for five years and she wasn't too bad then. I think she is quite lonely and that adds to the problem.

I like the idea of shock therapy. I think that might be the trick I don't want sympathy for her. I want a solution. I told her how great she looked when she lost the weight before but I don't see her that often to encourage her sadly. I'm going to go through my photographs and dig out some shots of her when she was slimmer. When we were at uni we were on the uni Tae KwonDo team. We were almost the same weight (circa 56-58kg) and she was one of the best lightweights in the country.

[mrmr96]

EmmaP said:

My friend has been a chocoholic for at least 16 years. To be honest I don't know how she has avoided diabetes. I know that at one point she was eating 5 bars a day. She can eat a 1lb box of chocolates in one sitting. She has been to her GP and they recommended her rationing her intake and doing more exercise. She did try restricting her intake to Friday night and weekends and she put pictures of her up at home when she was particularly over-weight. She did manage to lose about a stone doing this but now she's back to square one. She texted me a couple of days ago to say she is really depressed as she has hit 13 stone. She is only F503

Myself and several of her friends are very concerned for her and really want to help her. She tends to eat more chocolate when she is depressed so it is a bit of a vicious circle. I have in the past suggested hypno-therapy but she didn't show any interest in this. She just says, she can't stop herself. Aversion therapy won't work as I really don't think she can eat enough to make herself sick and put her off

I would be very grateful of any serious suggestions. A friend and I are willing to pay for therapy.

My recent personal experience:

I never had an addiction as bad as that, but I did used to eat 2 'fun size' bars with my lunch, then maybe 2-5 more 'fun size' bars in an evening (and even more at weekends). Needless to say that wasn't the only thing wrong with my diet and I was a bit fat. I used to eat a LOT of Cadbury, pretty much the only brand.

But I have since (over the last 3 or 4 months) stopped eating chocolate completely.

What I did was to tell myself that I would stop eating any chocolate at all for one calendar month, and that when that month was up I could start eating it again. (I fully intended to start again too!) I threw out all the chocolate I had in the house and didn't buy any during the month, as I could always buy some more at the end. During this time I allowed myself to eat whatever other snacks I wanted, like crisps and biscuits etc, as I wasn't 'addicted' to them as I was with the chocolate. I could eat the other snacks when I felt like it but never got 'obsessive' about them.

By the end of the month off chocolate I had been without it for so long I felt like I was beating the 'addiction', and that I could go for a second month without it, by still eating other snacks.

By the end of the 2nd month I basically agreed with myself not to eat chocolate any more, and to start to cut down on the replacement snacks, replacing them with things like fruit (and a little cheese. apple and cheese is tasty). Now I'm almost calorie obsessed and it's a kind of 'game' when I go to the shops to get a drink or sandwich, to choose the one with fewest calories (rather the one with most calories per £1 which I seemed to be doing before!)

I've lost about 10% of my body weight in the last 3 months or so. It becomes very rewarding when you hit a new 'record' low weight every few days.

In a nutshell, my advice would be to do a limited time period without chocolate and allow yourself to start again after. (You will hopefully not actually want to in the end. But make your target time finite, as trying to give up 'forever' immediately will be psychologically too hard.) Fill the gap that chocolate filled with anything else you're not addicted to to help you through it, then 'quit' those too.

Hope that helps.

[The Nur]

Be careful though, there is a fine line between shock therapy and sending someone further into depression. You need something to scare her, not to remind her of the good old days when she was fit. That is enough to make anybody eat chocolate all night long

[EmmaP]

mrmr96 that sounds like good advice. I honestly don't think she can give up completely. I'll suggest she try but I know she will say, "I can't" Her lack of will-power is an issue.

The irony is she eats a really healthy, balanced diet aside from chocolate. She doesn't eat cake, biscuits or crisps. I think Cadbury's must have some additive that is addictive because she only likes Cadbury's.

[mrmr96]

Don't ask her to give up completely 'forever' just give up completely for like 'a week' or so. Because having 'light at the end of the tunnel' is VITAL to being able to stick with it imo.

[EmmaP]

The Nur. You are right. I know that other friends have been stern with her. I have tried to be positive saying that it was a real shame that she had fallen into old habits as she was doing so well.

I think she will respond better to positive encouragement. She is going on three holidays this year and is using them as a target. I will send her a couple of pictures though as she is a visual person and think that this will help her.

[EmmaP]

mrmr96 said:

Don't ask her to give up completely 'forever' just give up completely for like 'a week' or so. Because having 'light at the end of the tunnel' is VITAL to being able to stick with it imo.

I see. I think that giving up entirely might make her obsess, like when you're on a diet all you can think about is food which doesn't really help!

One week off, one day on may be a good start

[172ff]

WTF least its not a proper addiction.. like whisky!

What causes her depression ?

[EmmaP]

172ff said:

WTF least its not a proper addiction.. like whisky!

What causes her depression ?

But it is an addiction. The health implications are considerable I think.

I think she is depressed because she is lonely. She doesn't have a boyfriend either. I think she has low self-esteem too. She is also suffering a bereavement at the moment.

[The Nur]

EmmaP said:

172ff said:

WTF least its not a proper addiction.. like whisky!

What causes her depression ?

But it is an addiction. The health implications are considerable I think.

I think she is depressed because she is lonely. She doesn't have a boyfriend either. I think she has low self-esteem too. She is also suffering a bereavement at the moment.

Sounds like she need to realise she's putting herself in a vicious circle, unless she sorts out her attitude she is doomed for life

Also, she needs to realise that "I can't" isn't a valid excuse.

Edited by The Nur on Friday 11th March 18:44

[EmmaP]

Absolutely! "I can't" isn't good enough. It's like she is looking for an excuse or a reason to fail. It is frustrating when I offer solutions and I get a negative response.

[RemainAllHoof]

It's a serious addiction when it's affecting her life; as I was reading through the original post, I suspected depression. Of course, the enlightened response is "why is she depressed?" rather than "Ooh, let's get the GP to give me some chemicals." (The interesting thing about chocolate is that in its purest form, it's a mild anti-depressant. Also, in its purest form (think the 90% cocoa stuff), it's actually not that bad for you. It's the "family" chocolate ie normal chocolate that contains fat, sugar, milk, additives, biscuit pieces etc that isn't great in large quantities - can result in putting on weight, type 2 diabetes, malnutrition, etc.)

You've identified/guessed her issues and these will be the reason why she eats. Food is just another substance to be addicted to. You need to get her to address the underlying problems; she has to want to address the problems. Getting a boyfriend will not address the problems; he will just be an arse towards her and treat her badly as he'll be able to get away with it (he'll probably be the sort who enjoys a bit of domestic violence); she will accept this and continue to feel bad.

Here-in lies the problem. You say she showed little interest in hypnotherapy. In my experience, many people don't want to be helped. It may be laziness or fear of change or a perception that they don't deserve better. And some people love the attention they get from being ill or suffering from some kind of psychological problem. ("Hi, how are you?" "Not very good, my back hurts and I feel depressed all the time..." "Oh, poor you, that's terrible...") It gives them a sense of identity and they can talk about themselves. So, does she want to overcome her emotional issues or not? The easiest option, of course, is to keep eating.

Hopefully, I've given you an idea of what you could do to help her.

[EmmaP]

RemainAllHoof said:

It's a serious addiction when it's affecting her life; as I was reading through the original post, I suspected depression. Of course, the enlightened response is "why is she depressed?" rather than "Ooh, let's get the GP to give me some chemicals." (The interesting thing about chocolate is that in its purest form, it's a mild anti-depressant. Also, in its purest form (think the 90% cocoa stuff), it's actually not that bad for you. It's the "family" chocolate ie normal chocolate that contains fat, sugar, milk, additives, biscuit pieces etc that isn't great in large quantities - can result in putting on weight, type 2 diabetes, malnutrition, etc.)

Absolutely! Cadbury's is so full of fat and sugar. That's the problem really. It is crazy that she eats so well apart from the chocolate. She cooks fresh meals every day and never eats take-aways. As I said earlier, she doesn't eat cakes or biscuits. She'll have the odd packet of crisps but that is it. She has never smoked, never touched alcohol and has done regular exercise all her life (various martial arts and swimming).

RemainAllHoof said:

You've identified/guessed her issues and these will be the reason why she eats. Food is just another substance to be addicted to. You need to get her to address the underlying problems; she has to want to address the problems. Getting a boyfriend will not address the problems; he will just be an arse towards her and treat her badly as he'll be able to get away with it (he'll probably be the sort who enjoys a bit of domestic violence); she will accept this and continue to feel bad.

I think that you have hit the nail on the head. It is just away of avoiding the issue or masking it. I think that counseling could be a way forward but admitting or accepting there is a problem is the first hurdle. I don't really think that a boyfriend would help to be honest. She'd probably attract someone who would feed on her insecurities and low self-esteem.

RemainAllHoof said:

Here-in lies the problem. You say she showed little interest in hypnotherapy. In my experience, many people don't want to be helped. It may be laziness or fear of change or a perception that they don't deserve better. And some people love the attention they get from being ill or suffering from some kind of psychological problem. ("Hi, how are you?" "Not very good, my back hurts and I feel depressed all the time..." "Oh, poor you, that's terrible...") It gives them a sense of identity and they can talk about themselves. So, does she want to overcome her emotional issues or not? The easiest option, of course, is to keep eating.

I think that she may fear change. I've been trying to encourage her for the past 17 years to better herself. She has very little confidence in her own abilities. It all stems from her childhood (bad education, teasing and bullying). She isn't an attention seeker at all. She keeps things to herself and will only speak about her problems when they are really, really bad. On the surface she is very bright and bubbly, always smiling and positive about other people's achievements. Deep down she does not see her worth or abilities and has no confidence in her self or abilities. She has travelled on her own to Australia so is confident in that respect.

RemainAllHoof said:

Hopefully, I've given you an idea of what you could do to help her.

You have been extremely helpful and insightful. Thank you!

[oldbanger]

two words

Magnesium deficiency

A tub of magnesium supplments from Holland and Barratt costs less than a box of chocolates, and if it doesn't help the chocolate addiction after a few weeks, it will at least help to reduce any risk of type 2 diabetes.

[EmmaP]

I like that idea. Can't do any harm. I think the underlying issue is a psychological one but there is no doubt a chemical imbalance.

http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/magnesium

Edited by EmmaP on Friday 11th March 23:41

[RemainAllHoof]

EmmaP said:

It is crazy that she eats so well apart from the chocolate. She cooks fresh meals every day and never eats take-aways. As I said earlier, she doesn't eat cakes or biscuits. She'll have the odd packet of crisps but that is it. She has never smoked, never touched alcohol and has done regular exercise all her life (various martial arts and swimming).

She has very little confidence in her own abilities. Deep down she does not see her worth or abilities and has no confidence in her self or abilities.

You have been extremely helpful and insightful. Thank you!

No problems. I'm not just a furry face.

I thought I'd reply to these two paragraphs.

Paragraph 1: the thing is, for some reason, we're being told that if you eat healthily, you will be slim. Here's something to consider: I know a handful of vegetarians; all of them are overweight; I know some people who only eat home-cooked food that they prepare themselves and they, too, are overweight; meanwhile, I know some people who live off junk food who have well-toned bodies with ripped abs. It's down to two things, really: the actual energy intake irrespective of source and how much we burn. I doubt the chocolate is the sole reason for her size.

Paragraph 2: as a friend, if she isn't willing to seek professional help, then you could boost her confidence by telling her she's good at something even if she isn't. It is like when you tell a child they'll never amount to anything, the parent is right because they're programming the child into believing that it is true. On the other hand, if a child is learning a musical instrument and they are told they're doing well even if they make lots of mistakes, they will be encouraged to try harder and have the motivation to improve. Sure, it's lying but if it makes her feel better about herself...