Agressive pensioner help
Discussion
Apologies this is a bit of a long one
My other half's 90 year old gran suffered from a stroke about 2 months ago and was taken into hospital. She has been really placid for the past 4 years that I have known her and although she suffers with altzeimers the worst it got was that she would tell you the same thing every few minutes.
The stroke wasn't as bad as originaly thought and she has managed to regain the use of her arm and leg, although her speech is still very slurred and her mind appears to be very absent.
The thing we have noticed is that over the past couple of weeks she has become very agressive. Last week she lost her temper with one of the nurses on the ward and managed to throw a water jug at the nurse which struck her in the face, it actually got to the point that they had to remove all the other patients from the ward and ring us to come and calm her down.
Yesterday we moved her into a nursing home as she requires 24 hour care, she punched one of the doctors and had to be sedated to be put into the ambulance.
Since then we have had 5 phonecalls through the day and night saying that she has been attacking members of staff and this morning was the final straw when they had to admit defeat and take her in an ambulance back to the hospital under police escort due to her violence.
Has anyone had any dealings with this sort of thing before? We are both completely lost as to what to do. I originaly thought all this might be caused by her being moved into a care home but she has been very positive about going there for the past month.
My other half's 90 year old gran suffered from a stroke about 2 months ago and was taken into hospital. She has been really placid for the past 4 years that I have known her and although she suffers with altzeimers the worst it got was that she would tell you the same thing every few minutes.
The stroke wasn't as bad as originaly thought and she has managed to regain the use of her arm and leg, although her speech is still very slurred and her mind appears to be very absent.
The thing we have noticed is that over the past couple of weeks she has become very agressive. Last week she lost her temper with one of the nurses on the ward and managed to throw a water jug at the nurse which struck her in the face, it actually got to the point that they had to remove all the other patients from the ward and ring us to come and calm her down.
Yesterday we moved her into a nursing home as she requires 24 hour care, she punched one of the doctors and had to be sedated to be put into the ambulance.
Since then we have had 5 phonecalls through the day and night saying that she has been attacking members of staff and this morning was the final straw when they had to admit defeat and take her in an ambulance back to the hospital under police escort due to her violence.
Has anyone had any dealings with this sort of thing before? We are both completely lost as to what to do. I originaly thought all this might be caused by her being moved into a care home but she has been very positive about going there for the past month.
Unfortunately this isn't uncommon with 'oldies'. My mother has vascular dementia and now doesn't recognise me. She's in a secure unit in a nursing home - this isn't as bad as it sounds, just doors etc are all alarmed and the residents are under observation at very frequent intervals - they can toddle about the rooms public areas and corridors at will which seems to satisfy them. She's there because of her 'escape' tendencies but before she was admitted I noticed she was becoming more likely to try to push me around physically and I think she has done so in the home too.
My OH's brother's MiL is in similar straits, tho more violent in terms of throwing things and breaking windows to escape.
Not really possible for me to offer tangible advice, just to let you know you're not alone, there's nothing unique about your situation, and your best bet really is let the home do the best they can. I cope by thinking these days that the woman in the home isn't my mother anymore - my mother's lost to me, and altho this isn't nice, it's sadly true.
My OH's brother's MiL is in similar straits, tho more violent in terms of throwing things and breaking windows to escape.
Not really possible for me to offer tangible advice, just to let you know you're not alone, there's nothing unique about your situation, and your best bet really is let the home do the best they can. I cope by thinking these days that the woman in the home isn't my mother anymore - my mother's lost to me, and altho this isn't nice, it's sadly true.
Not unusual for a stroke victim to have a major change in character post stroke, aggressiveness is a commonly reported feature.
My f-i-l changed overnight from a very strong willed clever clear thinking chap to a needy but uncooperative whinger. Looking after him for two and a bit years with him refusing even a few nights in respite care almost killed my m-i-l who suffered both in terms of health and mental scarring despite the care assistance they got daily.
You have my symptahies with this one and I don't have any clear suggestions tbh, sorry.
My f-i-l changed overnight from a very strong willed clever clear thinking chap to a needy but uncooperative whinger. Looking after him for two and a bit years with him refusing even a few nights in respite care almost killed my m-i-l who suffered both in terms of health and mental scarring despite the care assistance they got daily.
You have my symptahies with this one and I don't have any clear suggestions tbh, sorry.
Thatnks for your sympathies everyone, glad to know were not the only ones out there in the same situation.
As a bit of an update, the hospital have admitted her into the geriatric ward and are sat with sedatives at the ready for when she kicks off again.
I was talking to her last night and she seems very alert but at the same time very worried by what is happening, she was saying that she gets overcome by this feeling of anger and then looses control of the ability to restrain herself. She only seems to remember small pieces of whats happened and she has got it into her head that people are going to hurt her because of what she has done.
From talks with one of the consultants it looks like they are going to try to section her and get her somewhere where they can cater for her mood swings.
Not the ideal outcome but souch is life
As a bit of an update, the hospital have admitted her into the geriatric ward and are sat with sedatives at the ready for when she kicks off again.
I was talking to her last night and she seems very alert but at the same time very worried by what is happening, she was saying that she gets overcome by this feeling of anger and then looses control of the ability to restrain herself. She only seems to remember small pieces of whats happened and she has got it into her head that people are going to hurt her because of what she has done.
From talks with one of the consultants it looks like they are going to try to section her and get her somewhere where they can cater for her mood swings.
Not the ideal outcome but souch is life
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