The chemotherapy worked.
Discussion
Just to let you guys know, my chemo was successful and I no longer have cancer. Obviously I won't be "cured" until it's been 5 years remission but needless to say I'm pretty happy now. I posted about it in detail in that 'coping with cancer' thread but also wrote up for another forum, a story of my experiences. Apologies for the length and swear words. Might make interesting reading for someone though;
November 2009 - Diagnosis - Went to hospital about my chest pain. I was admitted immediately and had all the usual tests - BP, pulse, ECG, etc. They noticed some anomalies in my ECG results and took me to have an ultrasound. I was watching the screen and could clearly see a huge lump. They then got me x-rayed and I was discharged once my breathing settled a bit. However I did (and still do) have a really fast heart beat - tachycardia. Then I waited around at home, in a lot less pain, for a call from the doctor to explain what they'd do (surgery or biopsy)
Then I got a call saying I'd be having surgery on December 16th. I was also told to go jerk off into a cup at the local fertility clinic. The porn they had was really s
t. There was like a copy of Mayfair and some other stty softcore magazine. I can't fap to that. Anyway, I got a call the same day I'd been to the clinic and was told they couldn't find any sperm. So they said to try again. The 2nd time I was wiser and took some real porn on my ipod. However there was still no sperm.
I was then given a choice - have 'surgical sperm retrieval' done, or just not do anything about it. I thought I'd give it a chance. I don't really want kids but it'd be nice to have the option. It was a 1 day procedure where they put a needle into your balls and try to retrieve sperm. It hurt but I was given loads of painkillers and the area was numbed. It was more bad news though as it wasn't successful, so I'm infertile :hsd: All that pain for nothing. Oh well.
December 16th 2009 - Surgery - I got to the hospital at about 7am and got myself admitted, then spent a while waiting around in the bed for a doctor to come check me over and get me prepared for surgery. It was late afternoon when they actually took me down to the anaesthetic room. I got talking to the girl who was working there, she was a student and was shadowing the main guy who worked there. She basically talked to me to keep me calm. I wasn't that bothered though - I don't worry about stuff. They put a few needles in me and injected some stuff that made me feel really stoned. I don't remember much after that - I was KO'd for surgery.
I woke up after what seemed like a few hours and couldn't open my eyes. I only remember that my Mother + sister were there, holding my hand and stroking my hair. I told the nurse to get rid of them because they were annoying me and I wanted to sleep.
Then I woke up again and was a bit more aware of what was going on. I looked down at my chest and could see a fking huge scar and 2 tubes coming out either side of my chest. I was also in quite a lot of pain but the nurse was there and told me I had a morphine thing where it'd automatically give me a specified dose but I could press the button to receive more. However it was capped at a certain amount. I just pressed the button, slept, woke up, pressed the button, repeat. Seemed like days.
I also remember feeling really hungry but they wouldn't let me eat. I also wasn't allowed to have any fluids for the first 2 days. Then on the 3rd day they started giving me 60ml of water every hour. I drank it but it kept coming back up through a tube that went in my nose and down my throat. They syringed it out every time. It felt really unpleasant.
After about 4 days I was able to hold down fluids but still not eating. I was also made to get out of the bed and sit in the chair to avoid getting a chest infection. It was extremely painful and aswell as having my own bodyweight I had 2 chest drains (boxes connected to the tubes either side of my chest, to drain excess fluid) to carry.
I was still on morphine and having to take loads of pills each day aswell so it's a bit foggy. One thing I do remember was that I couldn't pass urine. This meant having a catheter installed. They ram a tube up your dick. It hurts just as much as you'd think it would. I was also constipated (couldn't st). They gave me an enema and my ass exploded. While we're on pain - when they removed my chest drains, that was probably one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. The tubes are stitched into you and effectively touch your lungs. When they removed the stitches it moved around and then when they pulled it out I couldn't deal with the pain. Nearly passed out. I still have scars there and still get 'phantom' pains in that area nearly every day.
Once all my bodily functions were back to normal I had to try and become mobile again. I had a physiotherapist (who was pretty hot) to help me. I was managing to walk about 20ft before becoming really out of breath and just generally tired. It was extremely difficult because my brain was telling me I could do things but my body didn't respond. Towards the end of my stay in hospital she told me that if I felt like it I should try and walk by myself. So I went for a walk and ended up somewhere in the main part of the hospital before becoming fatigued again and having to prop myself up on a wall - a member of staff saw me and got a wheelchair to take me back to the ward. Once I got back I just broke down crying. First time I've cried in years, I guess it all just got to me. I don't mind admitting that part either.
While in hospital I also got wheeled away to have an x-ray every single day. This was tough on me because I wasn't able to put a tshirt on and the hospital corridors are freezing cold. Plus I had to stand up to get into the chair, then stand up again to have the x-ray. It was really painful but I just had to put up with it.
After about a week I was discharged. I actually didn't want to go home because I was getting on really well with the staff and felt safe there. The food sucked though. I was especially worried about having to navigate the stairs at home. I'd been doing 5-6 stairs with the physio and it was punishing me so I wasn't confident at all. However you can't live in hospital so I had to go home. Just in time for Christmas (December 24th). I had the sttiest Christmas ever. Although all my family were obviously supportive and whatever, I couldn't eat more than a few mouthfuls of Christmas dinner and just generally felt like st.
I was home for about 6 weeks before starting chemo. I had to take about 8 different pills, most of them 3 times a day. Plus I had to take laxatives when necessary. Luckily my Mother is a nurse so she took good care of me. I would have been fked if I still lived in my old apartment. She did everything for me and supported me financially aswell. I can't thank her enough for that, she put up with a lot of st from me as on a bad day I'd be really pissed off with everything and everyone.
There was actually a long wait between surgery and chemo because they had to analyse the tumor removed from me to see whether it was cancer or not. With Christmas and New Years etc it took them longer than normal to tell me. Then I went to see my Oncologist who told me I needed to have chemo for about 9 weeks. I was hoping that wouldn't be the case but at the same time was kind of relieved to know where I stood.
Chemotherapy
I had 3xBEP chemo treatments. That's a combination of 3 drugs, bleomycin, etopiside and cisplatin. Etopiside and cisplatin are given via a cannular (intra-vein needle) over 3 days. Bleomycin was an injection in my ass, on the 2nd day of treatment, followed by another one a week after. The injection really fking hurt every single time because it's injected into a muscle. It also made me feel really ill for a few days afterwards.
Just before going in for my first treatment I shaved my hair off in anticipation of it falling out. It's only just started growing back but I like having short hair so I'm gonna keep it at grade 2 or 3. Over the 3 months, pretty much all my bodyhair fell out aswell. That's leg hair, pubes, some arm hair, chest hair (most of which was already gone because they shaved it off before surgery) and facial hair. I can deal with hair loss but it was pretty disappointing to be pulling handfuls of pubes out in the shower. It took me ages to adjust to my head getting cold though, I pretty much wore a hat for the whole 3 months.
I was feeling a lot better by the time I started chemo and even after the first treatment I was feeling generally ok except being a bit tired. It was after the 2nd treatment that it hit me. There's a huge list of side effects from chemo but I was very lucky not to experience the majority of them except being extremely fking tired and being sick a few times. Plus I almost completely lost my sense of taste, felt dehydrated constantly and still get tinnitus every now and then. I still have bruised toes, a rash on my arms, and scars from having needles in my arms for 3 days at a time. This is along with the scars on my chest.
Here's a pic of my chest that I took on January 5th (linked as not everyone wants to see a man's chest!), in between surgery and chemo
http://files.upit.me/1278082131.jpg
So essentially chemo fking sucked. As well as the actual treatment I had to get a blood test done every week between each treatment cycle, which meant getting to the hospital. It took a lot of effort to even get out of bed at the time and because of the frequency of my hospital visits it tired me out even more. It felt like I was constantly having to have something done (blood test, injection, chemo) and I found it hard to keep track of it all.
After chemo
So this brings us up to about a month ago when my chemo finished. I took me a few weeks to feel 'normal' again but now I feel way better. My hair's starting to come back and I'm not as tired as I was. I have to get a job now. After not working for so long and having no routine, it's going to be difficult but I really need the money. I also want to get fit again. I've not been able to exercise properly for obvious reasons, so I'm extremely unfit now. It's all going to be an uphill struggle but I will say that it could have been much worse.
When in hospital I met quite a few people with terminal cancer. Although we were in the same situation, having chemo, it was harrowing to talk to them and see how complacent they were knowing that they'd be dead within x number of weeks/months/years and the chemo was just a way of pushing it back a bit. Then there's me with a pretty treatable cancer that has only a small chance of mortality. I also have age on my side as I'm only 23.
I'm sure anyone who has known people with cancer knows what a it is. Chemo really takes a lot out of you both physically and emotionally. One of the hardest things for me has been watching my family and friends making sacrifices for me. I feel like I don't deserve it but it just goes to show that I've got some good people around me and I should be thankful for that.
I also can't fault the health service in the UK. They've been really great and provided all this care and treatment for free. If I lived elsewhere I would have been facing a fking huge bill for all of this. They just need to make better food for patients.
For reference my cancer was an 'extragonadal germ cell seminoma'. It's a form of testicular cancer but it was located in my chest. It's quite rare for it to spread there and it's considered more serious than just having 'regular' testicular cancer in your balls. It is luckily very treatable and has something like a 95% success rate for being cured. Not sure about the longer term risks of death though. There's always a chance the cancer could come back at some point. There was no tumors on my balls so I got to keep both of them, even though they don't work properly anymore
November 2009 - Diagnosis - Went to hospital about my chest pain. I was admitted immediately and had all the usual tests - BP, pulse, ECG, etc. They noticed some anomalies in my ECG results and took me to have an ultrasound. I was watching the screen and could clearly see a huge lump. They then got me x-rayed and I was discharged once my breathing settled a bit. However I did (and still do) have a really fast heart beat - tachycardia. Then I waited around at home, in a lot less pain, for a call from the doctor to explain what they'd do (surgery or biopsy)
Then I got a call saying I'd be having surgery on December 16th. I was also told to go jerk off into a cup at the local fertility clinic. The porn they had was really s
t. There was like a copy of Mayfair and some other stty softcore magazine. I can't fap to that. Anyway, I got a call the same day I'd been to the clinic and was told they couldn't find any sperm. So they said to try again. The 2nd time I was wiser and took some real porn on my ipod. However there was still no sperm.I was then given a choice - have 'surgical sperm retrieval' done, or just not do anything about it. I thought I'd give it a chance. I don't really want kids but it'd be nice to have the option. It was a 1 day procedure where they put a needle into your balls and try to retrieve sperm. It hurt but I was given loads of painkillers and the area was numbed. It was more bad news though as it wasn't successful, so I'm infertile :hsd: All that pain for nothing. Oh well.
December 16th 2009 - Surgery - I got to the hospital at about 7am and got myself admitted, then spent a while waiting around in the bed for a doctor to come check me over and get me prepared for surgery. It was late afternoon when they actually took me down to the anaesthetic room. I got talking to the girl who was working there, she was a student and was shadowing the main guy who worked there. She basically talked to me to keep me calm. I wasn't that bothered though - I don't worry about stuff. They put a few needles in me and injected some stuff that made me feel really stoned. I don't remember much after that - I was KO'd for surgery.
I woke up after what seemed like a few hours and couldn't open my eyes. I only remember that my Mother + sister were there, holding my hand and stroking my hair. I told the nurse to get rid of them because they were annoying me and I wanted to sleep.
Then I woke up again and was a bit more aware of what was going on. I looked down at my chest and could see a f
king huge scar and 2 tubes coming out either side of my chest. I was also in quite a lot of pain but the nurse was there and told me I had a morphine thing where it'd automatically give me a specified dose but I could press the button to receive more. However it was capped at a certain amount. I just pressed the button, slept, woke up, pressed the button, repeat. Seemed like days.I also remember feeling really hungry but they wouldn't let me eat. I also wasn't allowed to have any fluids for the first 2 days. Then on the 3rd day they started giving me 60ml of water every hour. I drank it but it kept coming back up through a tube that went in my nose and down my throat. They syringed it out every time. It felt really unpleasant.
After about 4 days I was able to hold down fluids but still not eating. I was also made to get out of the bed and sit in the chair to avoid getting a chest infection. It was extremely painful and aswell as having my own bodyweight I had 2 chest drains (boxes connected to the tubes either side of my chest, to drain excess fluid) to carry.
I was still on morphine and having to take loads of pills each day aswell so it's a bit foggy. One thing I do remember was that I couldn't pass urine. This meant having a catheter installed. They ram a tube up your dick. It hurts just as much as you'd think it would. I was also constipated (couldn't s
t). They gave me an enema and my ass exploded. While we're on pain - when they removed my chest drains, that was probably one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. The tubes are stitched into you and effectively touch your lungs. When they removed the stitches it moved around and then when they pulled it out I couldn't deal with the pain. Nearly passed out. I still have scars there and still get 'phantom' pains in that area nearly every day.Once all my bodily functions were back to normal I had to try and become mobile again. I had a physiotherapist (who was pretty hot) to help me. I was managing to walk about 20ft before becoming really out of breath and just generally tired. It was extremely difficult because my brain was telling me I could do things but my body didn't respond. Towards the end of my stay in hospital she told me that if I felt like it I should try and walk by myself. So I went for a walk and ended up somewhere in the main part of the hospital before becoming fatigued again and having to prop myself up on a wall - a member of staff saw me and got a wheelchair to take me back to the ward. Once I got back I just broke down crying. First time I've cried in years, I guess it all just got to me. I don't mind admitting that part either.
While in hospital I also got wheeled away to have an x-ray every single day. This was tough on me because I wasn't able to put a tshirt on and the hospital corridors are freezing cold. Plus I had to stand up to get into the chair, then stand up again to have the x-ray. It was really painful but I just had to put up with it.
After about a week I was discharged. I actually didn't want to go home because I was getting on really well with the staff and felt safe there. The food sucked though. I was especially worried about having to navigate the stairs at home. I'd been doing 5-6 stairs with the physio and it was punishing me so I wasn't confident at all. However you can't live in hospital so I had to go home. Just in time for Christmas (December 24th). I had the s
ttiest Christmas ever. Although all my family were obviously supportive and whatever, I couldn't eat more than a few mouthfuls of Christmas dinner and just generally felt like st.I was home for about 6 weeks before starting chemo. I had to take about 8 different pills, most of them 3 times a day. Plus I had to take laxatives when necessary. Luckily my Mother is a nurse so she took good care of me. I would have been f
ked if I still lived in my old apartment. She did everything for me and supported me financially aswell. I can't thank her enough for that, she put up with a lot of st from me as on a bad day I'd be really pissed off with everything and everyone.There was actually a long wait between surgery and chemo because they had to analyse the tumor removed from me to see whether it was cancer or not. With Christmas and New Years etc it took them longer than normal to tell me. Then I went to see my Oncologist who told me I needed to have chemo for about 9 weeks. I was hoping that wouldn't be the case but at the same time was kind of relieved to know where I stood.
Chemotherapy
I had 3xBEP chemo treatments. That's a combination of 3 drugs, bleomycin, etopiside and cisplatin. Etopiside and cisplatin are given via a cannular (intra-vein needle) over 3 days. Bleomycin was an injection in my ass, on the 2nd day of treatment, followed by another one a week after. The injection really f
king hurt every single time because it's injected into a muscle. It also made me feel really ill for a few days afterwards.Just before going in for my first treatment I shaved my hair off in anticipation of it falling out. It's only just started growing back but I like having short hair so I'm gonna keep it at grade 2 or 3. Over the 3 months, pretty much all my bodyhair fell out aswell. That's leg hair, pubes, some arm hair, chest hair (most of which was already gone because they shaved it off before surgery) and facial hair. I can deal with hair loss but it was pretty disappointing to be pulling handfuls of pubes out in the shower. It took me ages to adjust to my head getting cold though, I pretty much wore a hat for the whole 3 months.
I was feeling a lot better by the time I started chemo and even after the first treatment I was feeling generally ok except being a bit tired. It was after the 2nd treatment that it hit me. There's a huge list of side effects from chemo but I was very lucky not to experience the majority of them except being extremely f
king tired and being sick a few times. Plus I almost completely lost my sense of taste, felt dehydrated constantly and still get tinnitus every now and then. I still have bruised toes, a rash on my arms, and scars from having needles in my arms for 3 days at a time. This is along with the scars on my chest.Here's a pic of my chest that I took on January 5th (linked as not everyone wants to see a man's chest!), in between surgery and chemo
http://files.upit.me/1278082131.jpg
So essentially chemo f
king sucked. As well as the actual treatment I had to get a blood test done every week between each treatment cycle, which meant getting to the hospital. It took a lot of effort to even get out of bed at the time and because of the frequency of my hospital visits it tired me out even more. It felt like I was constantly having to have something done (blood test, injection, chemo) and I found it hard to keep track of it all.After chemo
So this brings us up to about a month ago when my chemo finished. I took me a few weeks to feel 'normal' again but now I feel way better. My hair's starting to come back and I'm not as tired as I was. I have to get a job now. After not working for so long and having no routine, it's going to be difficult but I really need the money. I also want to get fit again. I've not been able to exercise properly for obvious reasons, so I'm extremely unfit now. It's all going to be an uphill struggle but I will say that it could have been much worse.
When in hospital I met quite a few people with terminal cancer. Although we were in the same situation, having chemo, it was harrowing to talk to them and see how complacent they were knowing that they'd be dead within x number of weeks/months/years and the chemo was just a way of pushing it back a bit. Then there's me with a pretty treatable cancer that has only a small chance of mortality. I also have age on my side as I'm only 23.
I'm sure anyone who has known people with cancer knows what a
it is. Chemo really takes a lot out of you both physically and emotionally. One of the hardest things for me has been watching my family and friends making sacrifices for me. I feel like I don't deserve it but it just goes to show that I've got some good people around me and I should be thankful for that.I also can't fault the health service in the UK. They've been really great and provided all this care and treatment for free. If I lived elsewhere I would have been facing a f
king huge bill for all of this. They just need to make better food for patients.For reference my cancer was an 'extragonadal germ cell seminoma'. It's a form of testicular cancer but it was located in my chest. It's quite rare for it to spread there and it's considered more serious than just having 'regular' testicular cancer in your balls. It is luckily very treatable and has something like a 95% success rate for being cured. Not sure about the longer term risks of death though. There's always a chance the cancer could come back at some point. There was no tumors on my balls so I got to keep both of them, even though they don't work properly anymore
Christ - what an ordeal, and at 23 as well. You're two years younger than me and I'm whining about the idea of having my wisdom tooth removed. The worse pain I've experienced was when a dentist didn't numb my nerves properly, and you've had your chest opened up, numerous chemo treatments, etc etc. I think I need a nice cup of STFU!
Excellent news that the treatment worked, I hope you manage to get everything back on track and live a happy and successful life.
Best of luck!
Excellent news that the treatment worked, I hope you manage to get everything back on track and live a happy and successful life.
Best of luck!
congrats on getting through that. Certainly puts things into perspective. 
I don't know why, but this really scares me - I'm 22, and other than lifting weights and a bit of running, don't really pay attention to my health, and have a slight drinking problem. The idea that something like this could happen and I might not realise until it's too late is terrifying.
It sounds like you've dealt with it incredibly well, and I really hope you come out of it in 5 years feeling as good as you did before this developed, with the all clear. As you say it'll take a lot of work, but you've already survived this - what's a little extra?
It sounds like you've dealt with it incredibly well, and I really hope you come out of it in 5 years feeling as good as you did before this developed, with the all clear. As you say it'll take a lot of work, but you've already survived this - what's a little extra?
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