Getting old..be careful what you wish for........Alzheimer's
Discussion
When I was younger I couldn't wait to get older, everybody older than me looked to be having a better time, more fun etc
Now I'm getting older too quickly, the years are flying by. Everything I wished for has come true but not in the way that I wanted.
18 months ago my Mum was a fit and active person, healthy eating, walked everywhere and she died last May at 75. She was convinced she would live to 100 as her mum and my aunties all reached 90+
I miss her.
Today I went to help sort my dad out with a 'talking microwave' (the buttons speak as you press them) as he is now virtually blind and is struggling with the microwave he has had for years. He was a research chemist for the CEGB, designed one of the first computers to handle acidity/alkaline for the water in the cooling towers and when I was a kid ½ a century ago he would have a chassis on the living room table, circuit diagram soldering transistors etc onto a board.
We would have to eat off our knees in front of the TV as nothing could be moved on the table much to the annoyance of my Mum.
I show him the microwaves and there are two to choose from. The better one IMO is a combination but he is worried about the 19 buttons on it.
'It looks awfully complicated how about the ordinary one?' he asks. The ordinary one has five less buttons and then I point out the one he has been using has 25!
'There is more to go wrong on the combination oven'
It seems as he is getting older everything is a problem and all he can think of is a reason to not do something.
I eventually get him to agree to me phoning the people who are selling them to answer his questions and 20 minutes later the call ends and he was told everything I read out of the brochure by a very patient and understand woman! This thing is so simple too.
He has a wife but she is next to useless. It took me about an hour to explain to her how the new 'Big Button' telephones worked that I sorted out last year for him as he was finding the hard wired phone a problem. It is about as basic a phone as you can get.
All this stuff about Alzheimer's makes me dread that he is losing it. I have experienced it with a neighbour who would ask me the same questions every time I saw him, to not knowing who the strange woman was that was living with him.
The future is a bit scary..........
Now I'm getting older too quickly, the years are flying by. Everything I wished for has come true but not in the way that I wanted.
18 months ago my Mum was a fit and active person, healthy eating, walked everywhere and she died last May at 75. She was convinced she would live to 100 as her mum and my aunties all reached 90+
I miss her.
Today I went to help sort my dad out with a 'talking microwave' (the buttons speak as you press them) as he is now virtually blind and is struggling with the microwave he has had for years. He was a research chemist for the CEGB, designed one of the first computers to handle acidity/alkaline for the water in the cooling towers and when I was a kid ½ a century ago he would have a chassis on the living room table, circuit diagram soldering transistors etc onto a board.
We would have to eat off our knees in front of the TV as nothing could be moved on the table much to the annoyance of my Mum.
I show him the microwaves and there are two to choose from. The better one IMO is a combination but he is worried about the 19 buttons on it.
'It looks awfully complicated how about the ordinary one?' he asks. The ordinary one has five less buttons and then I point out the one he has been using has 25!
'There is more to go wrong on the combination oven'
It seems as he is getting older everything is a problem and all he can think of is a reason to not do something.
I eventually get him to agree to me phoning the people who are selling them to answer his questions and 20 minutes later the call ends and he was told everything I read out of the brochure by a very patient and understand woman! This thing is so simple too.
He has a wife but she is next to useless. It took me about an hour to explain to her how the new 'Big Button' telephones worked that I sorted out last year for him as he was finding the hard wired phone a problem. It is about as basic a phone as you can get.
All this stuff about Alzheimer's makes me dread that he is losing it. I have experienced it with a neighbour who would ask me the same questions every time I saw him, to not knowing who the strange woman was that was living with him.
The future is a bit scary..........
Very sorry to hear that.
My father had the onset of Alzheimers and used to cry for no reason - This was very sad and disturbing for a proud man. He also kept thinking back to the great time he had during he time in the war. He was based at the 'chain home' station (RADAR) at various locations.
Also worked for Pye development and Sizewell - Instrumentation etc.
The TV always had the back off with valves, transistors everywhere and the constant smell of rosin flux was in the air.
One of the biggest fun we had was his home-brew KT66 push pull CB power amp.
Good luck.
My father had the onset of Alzheimers and used to cry for no reason - This was very sad and disturbing for a proud man. He also kept thinking back to the great time he had during he time in the war. He was based at the 'chain home' station (RADAR) at various locations.
Also worked for Pye development and Sizewell - Instrumentation etc.
The TV always had the back off with valves, transistors everywhere and the constant smell of rosin flux was in the air.
One of the biggest fun we had was his home-brew KT66 push pull CB power amp.
Good luck.
My grandfather passed away a month ago, he was diagnosed with Alzhiemers in 2006, and he went downhill from there.
He was on some tablets (aricept?) which kept him stable for a year or so, then it took hold very suddenly.
As bad as this may sound, luckily he declined very quickly in his last year, and died suddenly. It was lucky as he was physically quite fit, and towards the end he could barely feed himself and never knew where he was. It was good that he did not live in that state for many years.
It was a great strain on my grandmother, but there is a lot of help out there via social services.
I cannot offer anything but my sympathies, and do as much research as you can. The alzhiemers society can help out a great deal, and were very good with my grandfather and family towards the end.
He was on some tablets (aricept?) which kept him stable for a year or so, then it took hold very suddenly.
As bad as this may sound, luckily he declined very quickly in his last year, and died suddenly. It was lucky as he was physically quite fit, and towards the end he could barely feed himself and never knew where he was. It was good that he did not live in that state for many years.
It was a great strain on my grandmother, but there is a lot of help out there via social services.
I cannot offer anything but my sympathies, and do as much research as you can. The alzhiemers society can help out a great deal, and were very good with my grandfather and family towards the end.
alzheimers is tough but it is worst for the patient right at the start where they are aware enough to realise their brain is going. After that point it is very hard for the family concerned and eventually you just have to laugh about it (I found - my grandmother had it). It's a horrible condition. She did manage to bust out of the nursing home and make her way back to her (old, sold on) house though!
I don't know if he has got Alzheimer's, it is only with it being in the news it does make me think that he seems to be giving up easily when in the past he would be a fighter and so active in his mind and nothing used to faze him.
I appreciate the sympathetic comments but I wasn't really fishing for sympathy as I have come to terms with everything that has happened and that was not uppermost in my thoughts starting this thread.
I appreciate the sympathetic comments but I wasn't really fishing for sympathy as I have come to terms with everything that has happened and that was not uppermost in my thoughts starting this thread.
Mr E Driver said:
I don't know if he has got Alzheimer's, it is only with it being in the news it does make me think that he seems to be giving up easily when in the past he would be a fighter and so active in his mind and nothing used to faze him.
I appreciate the sympathetic comments but I wasn't really fishing for sympathy as I have come to terms with everything that has happened and that was not uppermost in my thoughts starting this thread.
Fair enough I appreciate the sympathetic comments but I wasn't really fishing for sympathy as I have come to terms with everything that has happened and that was not uppermost in my thoughts starting this thread.
My grandfather started off the same way, from an engineed who used design aircraft engines, to a guy who struggled to understand how the coffee machine functions.
Get him down the doctors, they can perform certain tests and give him something to help if caught early enough.
As I said, the aricept drug has been known to hold it off for yeears in some cases, if treated early enough.
My Dad was an Industrial Chemist, and an FRSC.
He worked in the nuclear industry for thirty years doing leading edge stuff. I mean REALLY clever stuff. Top secret stuff which he couldn't talk about, in places he couldn't tell me about, with people who he couldn't tell us about.
He worked in Africa for a few years on a dam project, and while there was a successful amateur rally driver. He could strip an engine and rebuild it with his eyes closed. He was more of a man that I will ever be.
When he reached 75, he contracted cancer, and over eight months I watched him wither away, hating every moment, losing the ability to see, drive and feed himself. The end was drawn out and horrific.
When the end came I drank a bottle of whisky and cried, but only with happiness that his suffering was over.
There is no romance in old age. None.
If it's any reassurance, you're not alone.
I wish you well.
Edited by Soovy on Wednesday 3rd February 16:31
My grandad had a stroke (And then about 50 more mini ones...) which basically made him crazy.
He's been in a home since he was found wondering the streets with a knife looking for my granny.
I haven't seen him in 2 years.
I don't want to see him in his current condition since I remember him being happy, if somewhat senile.
The likelihood of him even knowing who I am is low to none, but I will admit selfish reasons for not seeing him.
However I would not expect my loved ones to visit me if I was in a state where I didn't even realise they were there. All they'd be doing is seeing the my gradual decline.
Being old scares the living s
t out of me.
Edit:Now I feel hella depressed. I remember even when he was forgetting everything he would save the DVD in the mail on sunday for me.
I never wanted it, but every week he would give it to me.
He's been in a home since he was found wondering the streets with a knife looking for my granny.
I haven't seen him in 2 years.
I don't want to see him in his current condition since I remember him being happy, if somewhat senile.
The likelihood of him even knowing who I am is low to none, but I will admit selfish reasons for not seeing him.
However I would not expect my loved ones to visit me if I was in a state where I didn't even realise they were there. All they'd be doing is seeing the my gradual decline.
Being old scares the living s
t out of me. Edit:Now I feel hella depressed. I remember even when he was forgetting everything he would save the DVD in the mail on sunday for me.
I never wanted it, but every week he would give it to me.
Edited by Frankeh on Wednesday 3rd February 16:29
TheCarpetCleaner said:
Fair enough
Cheers thank you for that, I'll find out who his doctor is and make some enquiriesFrankeh said:
However I would not expect my loved ones to visit me if I was in a state where I didn't even realise they were there. All they'd be doing is seeing the my gradual decline.
Being old scares the living st out of me.
Same for me, my Mum didn't want to see anybody in her last few weeks as she didn't want people to see her looking so thin.Being old scares the living s
t out of me. Priorities and how you think changes as you get older, when you are younger you worry about what people think of you, how you look, does this match, brown or black shoes. now if somebody does not like it then, tough!
Yes, getting old scares me now too!
Edited by Mr E Driver on Wednesday 3rd February 16:37
Reading this thread brought a tear to my eye. My grandma had Alzheimer's for a number of years and it is probably the illness I fear the most as a result. She had to go into a nursing home and every time I saw her I died a little inside. It was as if she lived in a different world broken only by occasional moments of lucidity by the end.
It's horrible to see someone like that and remember how they were before.
It showed me that you just have to make the most out of the time that you have as you never know what may happen.
It's horrible to see someone like that and remember how they were before.
It showed me that you just have to make the most out of the time that you have as you never know what may happen.
DangerousMike said:
alzheimers is tough but it is worst for the patient right at the start where they are aware enough to realise their brain is going. After that point it is very hard for the family concerned and eventually you just have to laugh about it (I found - my grandmother had it). It's a horrible condition. She did manage to bust out of the nursing home and make her way back to her (old, sold on) house though!
Absolutley bang on!Can start with the patient getting to the top of the stairs
"what did I come up here for?"Can go through a frustrating stage for them where they can't remember what day it is?
Gradually gets worse as they realise they have a problem.
Then starts to have an increasing effect on the family, as they see a member of the family slipping away.
Shaw Tarse said:
DangerousMike said:
alzheimers is tough but it is worst for the patient right at the start where they are aware enough to realise their brain is going. After that point it is very hard for the family concerned and eventually you just have to laugh about it (I found - my grandmother had it). It's a horrible condition. She did manage to bust out of the nursing home and make her way back to her (old, sold on) house though!
Absolutley bang on!Can start with the patient getting to the top of the stairs
"what did I come up here for?"Can go through a frustrating stage for them where they can't remember what day it is?
Gradually gets worse as they realise they have a problem.
Then starts to have an increasing effect on the family, as they see a member of the family slipping away.
Save any family I have having to see me go through that.
Frankeh said:
Shaw Tarse said:
DangerousMike said:
alzheimers is tough but it is worst for the patient right at the start where they are aware enough to realise their brain is going. After that point it is very hard for the family concerned and eventually you just have to laugh about it (I found - my grandmother had it). It's a horrible condition. She did manage to bust out of the nursing home and make her way back to her (old, sold on) house though!
Absolutley bang on!Can start with the patient getting to the top of the stairs
"what did I come up here for?"Can go through a frustrating stage for them where they can't remember what day it is?
Gradually gets worse as they realise they have a problem.
Then starts to have an increasing effect on the family, as they see a member of the family slipping away.
Save any family I have having to see me go through that.
Shaw Tarse said:
Can start with the patient getting to the top of the stairs "what did I come up here for?"
Blimey - I do that at 30! "what did I come up here for?"My nan's 88 and has a full complement of marbles. She's sharp as a tack, apart from the time she asked me to show her how to use the new phone because "the new one doesn't have any buttons". (It was the wrong way up with the buttons resting on the table.)
But now arthritis, deafness, etc. are stopping her from doing the things she enjoys, from knitting to walking. She saw her doctor a few weeks ago because a new combo of meds her ill. He innocently said "well, Peggy, 88 is a remarkable age to get to". Unfortunately she's taken that to mean that she won't make it to 89, and has pretty much given up. My aunt lives with her and said it's an effort to get her to do everyday things that she's perfectly capable of doing - she just doesn't seem to want to do anything any more. It's like she's convincing herself into her grave.
So I'm wondering if it's worse to have your marbles and a knackered body or lose them and be strong as an ox. Or maybe there is no worse. The end bit's s
t. I wish the OP, and everyone else on here that's going through it with their older loved-ones, all the best.
I watched the Horizon documentary on aging last night. They reported a psycholopgy experiment in which a group of old people were made to live for a week as they did when they were young (e.g. they were put into a simulated 1950s). The conclusions were that expecting old people to look after themselves, carry heavy stuff, be active, cook for themselves, etc. results in them behaving that way. They measured the studies participants before and after and found that things such as deafness, poor eyesight, joint stiffness, etc. had all decreased during the week.
take your nan to alton towers, now!
take your nan to alton towers, now!
Soovy said:
My Dad was an Industrial Chemist, and an FRSC.
He worked in the nuclear industry for thirty years doing leading edge stuff. I mean REALLY clever stuff. Top secret stuff which he couldn't talk about, in places he couldn't tell me about, with people who he couldn't tell us about.
He worked in Africa for a few years on a dam project, and while there was a successful amateur rally driver. He could strip an engine and rebuild it with his eyes closed. He was more of a man that I will ever be.
When he reached 75, he contracted cancer, and over eight months I watched him wither away, hating every moment, losing the ability to see, drive and feed himself. The end was drawn out and horrific.
When the end came I drank a bottle of whisky and cried, but only with happiness that his suffering was over.
There is no romance in old age. None.
If it's any reassurance, you're not alone.
I wish you well.
Sorry to hear that soovy,my MIL has just been diagnosed with senile dementure at 62 my wife is grieving for the mother shes lost already and in dread of the future for herself,Ive tried to tell her its not always heredetary.He worked in the nuclear industry for thirty years doing leading edge stuff. I mean REALLY clever stuff. Top secret stuff which he couldn't talk about, in places he couldn't tell me about, with people who he couldn't tell us about.
He worked in Africa for a few years on a dam project, and while there was a successful amateur rally driver. He could strip an engine and rebuild it with his eyes closed. He was more of a man that I will ever be.
When he reached 75, he contracted cancer, and over eight months I watched him wither away, hating every moment, losing the ability to see, drive and feed himself. The end was drawn out and horrific.
When the end came I drank a bottle of whisky and cried, but only with happiness that his suffering was over.
There is no romance in old age. None.
If it's any reassurance, you're not alone.
I wish you well.
Edited by Soovy on Wednesday 3rd February 16:31
Terrible for everyone concerened.
Edited by gary11 on Saturday 6th February 14:03
DangerousMike said:
I watched the Horizon documentary on aging last night. They reported a psycholopgy experiment in which a group of old people were made to live for a week as they did when they were young (e.g. they were put into a simulated 1950s). The conclusions were that expecting old people to look after themselves, carry heavy stuff, be active, cook for themselves, etc. results in them behaving that way. They measured the studies participants before and after and found that things such as deafness, poor eyesight, joint stiffness, etc. had all decreased during the week.
take your nan to alton towers, now!
That was very interesting that. A little flawed given the very short time-scale (only a week) but still.take your nan to alton towers, now!
I work predominantly with old people. Some are great and give you hope. Others have some heartbreaking stories to tell, or are the subject of one themselves.
Nowt you can do about it, getting old is compulsory; doing it in style, or misery, is purely down to luck.
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