Alcoholic advice.
Discussion
I will try and keep it short. My OH's nephew is an alcoholic. He has always liked a drink, but held a job down, got married two years ago and has two very young daughters.
Last year out of the blue, his wife took up with another guy and threw him out of the house, and gave him limited access to his daughters. The main reason was, she said because of his drinking.
At first he moved back in with my sister in law, went to AA regularly and started to get back on track.
My sister in law then financed a flat for him, but he couldnt handle being on his own and began drinking even more. His wife, not wanting the kids to see him like this granted even less access and has I believe started divorce proceedings.
In despair, in early December my sister in law got him into re-hab. Four weeks, six thousand pounds.
This seemed to work. He was there over Christmas and the New Year, and asked if he could carry on, so she paid for an extra few weeks.
Everything from the councellors was very positive and he came home last Monday. By Wednesday he was drinking heavier than before.
Now my concern is that he may go suicidal.
The reason for posting here is on the off chance someone may have been through similar either as the family or the alcoholic.
We are at our wits end, as we dont know where else to go to. If AA and re-hab have no effect, what else is there?
Sorry for long post but any ideas would be appreciated.
Di
Last year out of the blue, his wife took up with another guy and threw him out of the house, and gave him limited access to his daughters. The main reason was, she said because of his drinking.
At first he moved back in with my sister in law, went to AA regularly and started to get back on track.
My sister in law then financed a flat for him, but he couldnt handle being on his own and began drinking even more. His wife, not wanting the kids to see him like this granted even less access and has I believe started divorce proceedings.
In despair, in early December my sister in law got him into re-hab. Four weeks, six thousand pounds.
This seemed to work. He was there over Christmas and the New Year, and asked if he could carry on, so she paid for an extra few weeks.
Everything from the councellors was very positive and he came home last Monday. By Wednesday he was drinking heavier than before.
Now my concern is that he may go suicidal.
The reason for posting here is on the off chance someone may have been through similar either as the family or the alcoholic.
We are at our wits end, as we dont know where else to go to. If AA and re-hab have no effect, what else is there?
Sorry for long post but any ideas would be appreciated.
Di
My expierence of alky's is that any help what so ever you give them is a total waste of time. In fact I think any help you give, will only make it worse. Giving him money, a flat etc just builds the dependant nature of these people. They have to be left alone to reach absolute rock bottom, at which point they will sadly die or start to help themselves. The love and support thing just does not work.
As a very heavydrinker/alcoholic for most of my adult life, I don`t know how but I held on to my job and family and can say it will end one way or another.
For me even the news I had the start of cirrhosis after having a very bad alchol induced seizure wasn`t enough to make me stop.
Another time I woke up one night in bed feeling unwell, when to the bathroom and started vomiting blood, went to and kept in hospital for a while and stayed off alcohol for 3 or 4 months but started again because for some reason I was in a self destruct mode although knew I was I killing myself I just wasn`t bothered.
But the enevitable happened, in the early hours of the morning of my 49th birthday I started vomited massive amounts of blood again,in casualty I was told I`d portal hypertension (vein burst in oesophagus)because blood couldn`t flow through my liver because of cirrhosis damage.
Lucky for me the vein was able to be banded otherwise I`d already be dead.
I`ve not touched alcohol since (5yrs)
I had no councilling or AA meetings or anything, death ceased to be something in the distance, I had to face it was imminent had I carried on drinking, I stopped because I didn`t want to die.
To be able to stopdrinking one has to genuinely really want to and until that point is reached alcohol will win.
For me even the news I had the start of cirrhosis after having a very bad alchol induced seizure wasn`t enough to make me stop.
Another time I woke up one night in bed feeling unwell, when to the bathroom and started vomiting blood, went to and kept in hospital for a while and stayed off alcohol for 3 or 4 months but started again because for some reason I was in a self destruct mode although knew I was I killing myself I just wasn`t bothered.
But the enevitable happened, in the early hours of the morning of my 49th birthday I started vomited massive amounts of blood again,in casualty I was told I`d portal hypertension (vein burst in oesophagus)because blood couldn`t flow through my liver because of cirrhosis damage.
Lucky for me the vein was able to be banded otherwise I`d already be dead.
I`ve not touched alcohol since (5yrs)
I had no councilling or AA meetings or anything, death ceased to be something in the distance, I had to face it was imminent had I carried on drinking, I stopped because I didn`t want to die.
To be able to stopdrinking one has to genuinely really want to and until that point is reached alcohol will win.
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