Medication, not taking
Discussion
Ok I think she has bi-polar disorder (nothing to do with curious ladies or arctic mammals!)
a lady over the road comes and cleans for us once a week. She's nice enough but recently (according to relatives we've spoken to) she's been refusing to take her medication.
Unfortunately I'm currently unemployed and at home alot and I seem to be the only one she wants to talk to. I barely know her but she's been turning up first thing in the morning in a hysterical and incoherent state.
I've learned not to invite her in as she stays for hours but yesterday she knocked on the door while I was having a shower and kept me on the doorstep for ages while she rambled on.
Today she was meant to come and clean. I made myself scarce between 8 and 2 as I had things to do including looking after my increasingly senile grandmother. I get back exhausted to find she's not been. Not feeling up to a repeat of yesterday, I lock the door and lie down.
A while later I hear her trying to get in. Flawed by the door latch she rings the bell. 40 times in quick succession. I do the honourable thing and ignore it. I'd like to point out at this stage that I'm a complete coward and completely out of my depth counselling a lady I hardly know. Added to this she has two sons who afaik live at home but work during the day.
My plan to ignore the doorbell works and it also works the second and third time she comes round, not to mention the phone ringing all the while in the mean time.
You might be wondering why I'm writing this here and you might think I'm a spineless wotsit for whatever reason. I'm stuck. I really don't know what to do. I have to find a job which means being at home writing applications but I feel scared to go near the windows in case she sees me. Of course it would be my own fault for choosing to hide rather than open the door but the bottom line is that she clearly has problems and as selfish as it sounds I'm not the person to solve them. Feel sorry for her but with a senile gran to deal with I'm rather stretched at the moment.
She has been to the hospital, she has medication and she has two sons who should take charge.
a lady over the road comes and cleans for us once a week. She's nice enough but recently (according to relatives we've spoken to) she's been refusing to take her medication.
Unfortunately I'm currently unemployed and at home alot and I seem to be the only one she wants to talk to. I barely know her but she's been turning up first thing in the morning in a hysterical and incoherent state.
I've learned not to invite her in as she stays for hours but yesterday she knocked on the door while I was having a shower and kept me on the doorstep for ages while she rambled on.
Today she was meant to come and clean. I made myself scarce between 8 and 2 as I had things to do including looking after my increasingly senile grandmother. I get back exhausted to find she's not been. Not feeling up to a repeat of yesterday, I lock the door and lie down.
A while later I hear her trying to get in. Flawed by the door latch she rings the bell. 40 times in quick succession. I do the honourable thing and ignore it. I'd like to point out at this stage that I'm a complete coward and completely out of my depth counselling a lady I hardly know. Added to this she has two sons who afaik live at home but work during the day.
My plan to ignore the doorbell works and it also works the second and third time she comes round, not to mention the phone ringing all the while in the mean time.
You might be wondering why I'm writing this here and you might think I'm a spineless wotsit for whatever reason. I'm stuck. I really don't know what to do. I have to find a job which means being at home writing applications but I feel scared to go near the windows in case she sees me. Of course it would be my own fault for choosing to hide rather than open the door but the bottom line is that she clearly has problems and as selfish as it sounds I'm not the person to solve them. Feel sorry for her but with a senile gran to deal with I'm rather stretched at the moment.
She has been to the hospital, she has medication and she has two sons who should take charge.
Surely as a recently unemployed individual you should make her unemployed and do you own cleaning, but maybe you don't need to save the money, even if this isn't the case you could still use it as an excuse. It does sound like a sad case, I think you would be better growing a bit of a backbone and just coming out with a 'sorry, I'd love to talk but i really have things to get on with'. You could try talking to her sons, might be awkward. Also she's your neighbour, as pH'ers know neighbours like to keep an eye on each other, using cameras and all sortas sometimes. She might keep an eye out of her house and know when you are present or not. Hiding in your own house and locking her out when shes due to come round and do some work for you sounds like the worst course of action you could take to me.
Sometimes people just want to talk.
A very close friend has bi-polar and occasionally there are periods of days or weeks on end where he will call, or visit and he will simply talk, and talk and talk. Having been diagnosed with mild depression myself 18 months back, I now understand how much help "talking" is.
Even if you aren't listening while she is "rambling" as you put it, in my experience she will be benefitting from it. I would suggest talking to her sons to see what support they can give her, especially if they live at home!
A very close friend has bi-polar and occasionally there are periods of days or weeks on end where he will call, or visit and he will simply talk, and talk and talk. Having been diagnosed with mild depression myself 18 months back, I now understand how much help "talking" is.
Even if you aren't listening while she is "rambling" as you put it, in my experience she will be benefitting from it. I would suggest talking to her sons to see what support they can give her, especially if they live at home!
Wow.
Literally frightened to go near the windows in case a cleaner sees you.
Im am both aghast and delighted.
Is this a serious thread? Are you honestly afraid of your cleaner?
I cant really get my head around it but heres my advice anyway:
Don't be. YOu are a grown man and she means you no harm. It is exactly the same as being afraid of the carpet. THey are similarly dangerous.
Boo
Literally frightened to go near the windows in case a cleaner sees you.
Im am both aghast and delighted.
Is this a serious thread? Are you honestly afraid of your cleaner?
I cant really get my head around it but heres my advice anyway:
Don't be. YOu are a grown man and she means you no harm. It is exactly the same as being afraid of the carpet. THey are similarly dangerous.
Boo
Thanks for your replies everyone. Just to clear a couple of things up, I live with my parents and they pay for her to come round and regarding the thread title, I'm not sure how that happened! I thought I'd added a title!
Whilst I appreciate the need to talk, there are family and friends for her to talk to. From my perspective, my gran is very senile and taking up a great deal of my time and the rest is on danger of being monopolised by this lady. As I mentioned I have to find work and I'm finding it hard to juggle the three and the stress that comes from it.
I think my problem is i'm too nice to be hard with her and I feel I'm being taken advantage of.
Whilst I appreciate the need to talk, there are family and friends for her to talk to. From my perspective, my gran is very senile and taking up a great deal of my time and the rest is on danger of being monopolised by this lady. As I mentioned I have to find work and I'm finding it hard to juggle the three and the stress that comes from it.
I think my problem is i'm too nice to be hard with her and I feel I'm being taken advantage of.
You have my sympathy, I'm like that with 'nutters', I simply have no time for it.
Try telling her you have some important projects to do and you will be needing to be left alone for the next month. No cleaning, no housecalls, or 'the project will be at risk'. Keep extending this project until she gets the message.
Or just shout "GO AWAY YOU MENTALIST" when she's on the doorstep, and make sure you're naked at the time for emphasis.
Both good plans I hope you'll agree.
Try telling her you have some important projects to do and you will be needing to be left alone for the next month. No cleaning, no housecalls, or 'the project will be at risk'. Keep extending this project until she gets the message.
Or just shout "GO AWAY YOU MENTALIST" when she's on the doorstep, and make sure you're naked at the time for emphasis.
Both good plans I hope you'll agree.
squirrel2007 said:
Ok I think she has bi-polar disorder (nothing to do with curious ladies or arctic mammals!)
a lady over the road comes and cleans for us once a week. She's nice enough but recently (according to relatives we've spoken to) she's been refusing to take her medication.
Unfortunately I'm currently unemployed and at home alot and I seem to be the only one she wants to talk to. I barely know her but she's been turning up first thing in the morning in a hysterical and incoherent state.
I've learned not to invite her in as she stays for hours but yesterday she knocked on the door while I was having a shower and kept me on the doorstep for ages while she rambled on.
Today she was meant to come and clean. I made myself scarce between 8 and 2 as I had things to do including looking after my increasingly senile grandmother. I get back exhausted to find she's not been. Not feeling up to a repeat of yesterday, I lock the door and lie down.
A while later I hear her trying to get in. Flawed by the door latch she rings the bell. 40 times in quick succession. I do the honourable thing and ignore it. I'd like to point out at this stage that I'm a complete coward and completely out of my depth counselling a lady I hardly know. Added to this she has two sons who afaik live at home but work during the day.
My plan to ignore the doorbell works and it also works the second and third time she comes round, not to mention the phone ringing all the while in the mean time.
You might be wondering why I'm writing this here and you might think I'm a spineless wotsit for whatever reason. I'm stuck. I really don't know what to do. I have to find a job which means being at home writing applications but I feel scared to go near the windows in case she sees me. Of course it would be my own fault for choosing to hide rather than open the door but the bottom line is that she clearly has problems and as selfish as it sounds I'm not the person to solve them. Feel sorry for her but with a senile gran to deal with I'm rather stretched at the moment.
She has been to the hospital, she has medication and she has two sons who should take charge.
Are you frightened of her? bipolar? or both?a lady over the road comes and cleans for us once a week. She's nice enough but recently (according to relatives we've spoken to) she's been refusing to take her medication.
Unfortunately I'm currently unemployed and at home alot and I seem to be the only one she wants to talk to. I barely know her but she's been turning up first thing in the morning in a hysterical and incoherent state.
I've learned not to invite her in as she stays for hours but yesterday she knocked on the door while I was having a shower and kept me on the doorstep for ages while she rambled on.
Today she was meant to come and clean. I made myself scarce between 8 and 2 as I had things to do including looking after my increasingly senile grandmother. I get back exhausted to find she's not been. Not feeling up to a repeat of yesterday, I lock the door and lie down.
A while later I hear her trying to get in. Flawed by the door latch she rings the bell. 40 times in quick succession. I do the honourable thing and ignore it. I'd like to point out at this stage that I'm a complete coward and completely out of my depth counselling a lady I hardly know. Added to this she has two sons who afaik live at home but work during the day.
My plan to ignore the doorbell works and it also works the second and third time she comes round, not to mention the phone ringing all the while in the mean time.
You might be wondering why I'm writing this here and you might think I'm a spineless wotsit for whatever reason. I'm stuck. I really don't know what to do. I have to find a job which means being at home writing applications but I feel scared to go near the windows in case she sees me. Of course it would be my own fault for choosing to hide rather than open the door but the bottom line is that she clearly has problems and as selfish as it sounds I'm not the person to solve them. Feel sorry for her but with a senile gran to deal with I'm rather stretched at the moment.
She has been to the hospital, she has medication and she has two sons who should take charge.
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