Discussion
What are the symptoms? Ive been unemployed for 3 months now with no sign of a successful interview, Im feeling very low, no self confidence and the final straw was an e-mail from an ex colleague who has told me in no uncertain terms that she no longer wants contact with me despite having been quite close previously. Is this normal to feel so low?
How long have you felt low?
Exhaustion on waking ?
Disrupted sleep, sometimes through upsetting dreams?
Early morning waking and difficulty getting back to sleep?
Doing less of what they used to enjoy?
Difficulty concentrating during the day?
Improved energy as the day goes on?
Anxious worrying and intrusive upsetting thoughts?
Becoming emotional or upset for no particular reason?
Shortness of temper, or irritability?
Think yourself lucky that you're not me, I've been suffering from depression for far too long and am currently going through the consultation process before I'm made redundant.
Exhaustion on waking ?
Disrupted sleep, sometimes through upsetting dreams?
Early morning waking and difficulty getting back to sleep?
Doing less of what they used to enjoy?
Difficulty concentrating during the day?
Improved energy as the day goes on?
Anxious worrying and intrusive upsetting thoughts?
Becoming emotional or upset for no particular reason?
Shortness of temper, or irritability?
Edited by eldudereno on Wednesday 11th November 19:47
Think yourself lucky that you're not me, I've been suffering from depression for far too long and am currently going through the consultation process before I'm made redundant.
Edited by eldudereno on Wednesday 11th November 19:53
I think you may have a mild form of depression but hey i'm no doctor maybe get some proffesional help. But i would do this. get yourself outside even if the weather is crap and even if for just half an hour or so. go somewhere nice and do a sprited walk, go swimming, hit the gym - honestly you will feel better for it as it gets the old endorphins pumping.
Basically just do a bit of exercise a few days a week, dont start drinking heavily as alcohol can act as a depressent, cut the crap out of your diet, cut back on the caffeine etc. If you feel better physically you'll probably feel better mentally.
You've had a crap time of late and sometimes it will seem as if the whole world is coming down but it will get better for you i promise.
Get your jogging bottoms on and hit the gym/walk/swim/whatever!!!
Basically just do a bit of exercise a few days a week, dont start drinking heavily as alcohol can act as a depressent, cut the crap out of your diet, cut back on the caffeine etc. If you feel better physically you'll probably feel better mentally.
You've had a crap time of late and sometimes it will seem as if the whole world is coming down but it will get better for you i promise.
Get your jogging bottoms on and hit the gym/walk/swim/whatever!!!
Boring as it sounds best bet is to talk to a professional - symptom list is huge and often conflicting:
Do you sleep much less now vs sleep more;
Become more emotional vs become less emotional, etc.
Common symptoms to most people seem to be sleep changes, lack concentration, lack of appetite, utter disinterest in previously enjoyed activities but talk to someone like a Dr is definitely best.
Do you sleep much less now vs sleep more;
Become more emotional vs become less emotional, etc.
Common symptoms to most people seem to be sleep changes, lack concentration, lack of appetite, utter disinterest in previously enjoyed activities but talk to someone like a Dr is definitely best.
Sounds more like 'a bit down' than actual depression. You certainly seem to have some real reasons to feel down (being unemployed is a real confidence killer)...
It might be an idea to see your doctor, but I wouldn't rush to a psychiatrist just yet- apart from the cost, they can muck you up quite badly too!
Go see the 'quack'. If he offers you pills for any stretch longer than two weeks, find a better doctor.
It might be an idea to see your doctor, but I wouldn't rush to a psychiatrist just yet- apart from the cost, they can muck you up quite badly too!
Go see the 'quack'. If he offers you pills for any stretch longer than two weeks, find a better doctor.
grumbledoak said:
Go see the 'quack'. If he offers you pills for any stretch longer than two weeks, find a better doctor.
+1He/she will probably bung you some prozac/fluoxetine; Try and get to see a trickcyclist for some alternative treatment first unless you're actually at the point of slitting your wrists. You don't sound as if you are, but please don't. The problem with NHS is the wait to see the trickcyclist, and then the wait to see the psycologist he will refer you onto for the actual 'on the couch' headshrinking and cognitive therapy. Anecdotal evidence suggests that releasing extra natural endorphines(what prozac does basically) by exercising regularly and trying to socialise more is practically as good and is free from the potential drawbacks of pharmaceuticals. Buy a dog.
Ive been feeling like this since I lost my job.
I exercise for about an hour a day, eat all home cooked foods, try to avoid breads and starchy foods, Im a strict veggie and I dont drink anything with caffeine in it but recently have begun eating some chocolate a few times a week. I stopped smoking at Xmas and I only drink about 10 units a week (at most)having three days a week alcohol free. I am having very badly disturbed sleep, waking a few times a night and then unable to get back to sleep for worrying and going over reasons for my redundancy. I have moments of intense insight and clarity where I know how lucky I am that I have a lovely home, family and partner then I have awful spells of weeping, self loathing, feeling fat, old, ugly, useless and all I want to do it die. This really doesnt feel like me at all because Im normally really upbeat but its the second time in three years that I have been made redundant and my resilience is disappearing fast.
I just cannot cope yet even though I know Im better off than some I just cannot pull myself out of it.
Thanks for your help BTW it helps knowing Im not alone, I really feel for anyone else going through redundancy, it isnt fun!
I exercise for about an hour a day, eat all home cooked foods, try to avoid breads and starchy foods, Im a strict veggie and I dont drink anything with caffeine in it but recently have begun eating some chocolate a few times a week. I stopped smoking at Xmas and I only drink about 10 units a week (at most)having three days a week alcohol free. I am having very badly disturbed sleep, waking a few times a night and then unable to get back to sleep for worrying and going over reasons for my redundancy. I have moments of intense insight and clarity where I know how lucky I am that I have a lovely home, family and partner then I have awful spells of weeping, self loathing, feeling fat, old, ugly, useless and all I want to do it die. This really doesnt feel like me at all because Im normally really upbeat but its the second time in three years that I have been made redundant and my resilience is disappearing fast.
I just cannot cope yet even though I know Im better off than some I just cannot pull myself out of it.
Thanks for your help BTW it helps knowing Im not alone, I really feel for anyone else going through redundancy, it isnt fun!
Edited by Boxylady on Wednesday 11th November 22:48
A lot of us have been there, trust me it will get better. Just monitor yourself and if it gets worse dont hesitate to see your doctor. Dont think your going crackers you'd be amazed how many people suffer from some form of depression during their lives.
Like you said your not alone.
Feel free to moan and vent on here as much as you like. Whatever you do dont bottle it all up.
Like you said your not alone.
Feel free to moan and vent on here as much as you like. Whatever you do dont bottle it all up.
Do you think that this depressive state would disappear if you got a job?
Tell us the reasons that you were made redundant etc, we're all here to help each other, maybe would could put a different perspective on it.
When you're in bed with all of these crazy thoughts going through your head, literally tell them to go away and force yourself to think of nice memories/moments etc.
Don't listen to sad songs and feel sorry for yourself, listen to some get up and go music. Feeling sorry for yourself only leads to more negative thoughts which can spiral out of control so don't do it. Believe me, I've got plenty of experience.
Try not to discuss your redundancy and how bitter you feel etc as it'll just make you feel even worse. Why not take this redundancy as an opportunity for a new beginning to do do a job that you would really enjoy.
Don't lock yourself away, being around positive people can help an awful lot.
Force yourself to smile!!!
Tell us the reasons that you were made redundant etc, we're all here to help each other, maybe would could put a different perspective on it.
Boxylady said:
and the final straw was an e-mail from an ex colleague who has told me in no uncertain terms that she no longer wants contact with me despite having been quite close previously. Is this normal to feel so low?
With friends like that who needs enemies!!!! You're well rid of this person who masqueraded as your friend.When you're in bed with all of these crazy thoughts going through your head, literally tell them to go away and force yourself to think of nice memories/moments etc.
Don't listen to sad songs and feel sorry for yourself, listen to some get up and go music. Feeling sorry for yourself only leads to more negative thoughts which can spiral out of control so don't do it. Believe me, I've got plenty of experience.
Try not to discuss your redundancy and how bitter you feel etc as it'll just make you feel even worse. Why not take this redundancy as an opportunity for a new beginning to do do a job that you would really enjoy.
Don't lock yourself away, being around positive people can help an awful lot.
Force yourself to smile!!!
Edited by eldudereno on Wednesday 11th November 23:37
1989 I was diagnosed by the Doc.
I just felt really disconnected from the world around me and saw no future in anything in my life.
I had just been made redundant for the first time and was struggling.
It is only temporary. You need to set yourself a list of things to do for the next day and work your way through them.
Don't stay in the house alone stewing. Get out even if you only go for a walk around the block buy get away from the job searching for half hour or so.
You will get another job. I got another one in February so it can be done, you just have to go through a lot of s
t before you find one.
For every job you don't get you are closer to the one that you will get.
If you really feel st, see your doc.
Good Luck
I just felt really disconnected from the world around me and saw no future in anything in my life.
I had just been made redundant for the first time and was struggling.
It is only temporary. You need to set yourself a list of things to do for the next day and work your way through them.
Don't stay in the house alone stewing. Get out even if you only go for a walk around the block buy get away from the job searching for half hour or so.
You will get another job. I got another one in February so it can be done, you just have to go through a lot of s
t before you find one.For every job you don't get you are closer to the one that you will get.
If you really feel s
t, see your doc.Good Luck
Odd beast this depression.
Try and be proactive if you can - as others have said there is quite a lot oif clinical evidence to suggest that exercise can help. See the GP if it is getting bad, but think long and hard about taking drugs as a first course of action. Plenty of research suggests that other measures including exercise, talk therapy of all kinds, CBT (if you can stick with it, many cannot) and a host of other modalities/processes besides can all help.
Try not to stew over it. Be proactive in dealing with this, but also understand that you have lots to be down about at the moment and loss of a job is very much like bereavement - in so far as it can have a distinct mourning period as you adjust to a different loss and all that that entails ...
Try and be proactive if you can - as others have said there is quite a lot oif clinical evidence to suggest that exercise can help. See the GP if it is getting bad, but think long and hard about taking drugs as a first course of action. Plenty of research suggests that other measures including exercise, talk therapy of all kinds, CBT (if you can stick with it, many cannot) and a host of other modalities/processes besides can all help.
Try not to stew over it. Be proactive in dealing with this, but also understand that you have lots to be down about at the moment and loss of a job is very much like bereavement - in so far as it can have a distinct mourning period as you adjust to a different loss and all that that entails ...
Thanks so much for your help. I am not sure why I was made redundant except I was the manager, company was losing money but as I had only been there 11 and a half months I was probably the easiest option without having to go through the redundancy process. I had passed my probation with no problems only the week before, prior to all this I had received very positive responses from my MD but after two days of discussions on the company way forward one morning he stated that I was a dreadful manager and that I should leave that morning, I was given 30 minutes to collect my stuff and go. They told me that I should be grateful that they werent making me redundant because that would mean only one weeks pay so they were to give me 3 months on the proviso I didnt besmirch their name and didnt contact any of my staff. It has really knocked my confidence.
I am lucky in that they gave me a pay off and it was definitely to keep me quiet. Its just the lack of jobs that is so depressing and I am so lucky I have a wonderful partner.
My Dad was also taken into hospital and is now recovering from an op for 5 aneurisms,so that was also a strain but at least he is really good now.
I know Im really well off compared to most but I just cannot shake off this feeling of being worthless!!
I will try and remain positive and take the advice on here, thanks to you all.
I am lucky in that they gave me a pay off and it was definitely to keep me quiet. Its just the lack of jobs that is so depressing and I am so lucky I have a wonderful partner.
My Dad was also taken into hospital and is now recovering from an op for 5 aneurisms,so that was also a strain but at least he is really good now.
I know Im really well off compared to most but I just cannot shake off this feeling of being worthless!!
I will try and remain positive and take the advice on here, thanks to you all.
Boxylady said:
Thanks so much for your help. I am not sure why I was made redundant except I was the manager, company was losing money but as I had only been there 11 and a half months I was probably the easiest option without having to go through the redundancy process. I had passed my probation with no problems only the week before, prior to all this I had received very positive responses from my MD but after two days of discussions on the company way forward one morning he stated that I was a dreadful manager and that I should leave that morning, I was given 30 minutes to collect my stuff and go.
Sounds almost exactly the same as my experience 20 years ago. Everything was fine one minute, and then out the door with just a few minutes notice.The bank had reduced the overdraft and the company owner had no choice in the matter. I wasn't too bothered at the time because I felt that I would find a similiar managerial role in no time at all. The next three months came as a shock, so I eventually had to lower my sights. This process involved quite a bit of depression. It wasn't "clinical depression".
When I lowered my sights I quickly found a job, which I did well in. The "depression" dissappeared instantly. Within a couple of years, I was earning (much) more than I had been previously, and was also working in a much happier environment.
Everything has been hunky-dory ever since.
Don
--
eldudereno said:
Exhaustion on waking ?
Disrupted sleep, sometimes through upsetting dreams?
Early morning waking and difficulty getting back to sleep?
Doing less of what they used to enjoy?
Difficulty concentrating during the day?
Improved energy as the day goes on?
Anxious worrying and intrusive upsetting thoughts?
Becoming emotional or upset for no particular reason?
Shortness of temper, or irritability?
I do/have all of these things.Disrupted sleep, sometimes through upsetting dreams?
Early morning waking and difficulty getting back to sleep?
Doing less of what they used to enjoy?
Difficulty concentrating during the day?
Improved energy as the day goes on?
Anxious worrying and intrusive upsetting thoughts?
Becoming emotional or upset for no particular reason?
Shortness of temper, or irritability?
ETA Have done for years.
Edited by Techn0 on Thursday 12th November 16:17
Boxylady said:
the final straw was an e-mail from an ex colleague who has told me in no uncertain terms that she no longer wants contact with me despite having been quite close previously. Is this normal to feel so low?
I had a very similar thing a couple of years ago (except I was working from home/self-employed at the time, not unemployed). It hurts more because you're feeling so isolated. Try not to let it bother you, and move on. You may re-establish the friendship eventually, or not, whatever is for the best.Unfortunately your negative thoughts are ruling your positive thoughts even though the negative thoughts are far outnumbered. It can often help to write all of your achievements down which will help them to become more prominent in your mind. Your dad's ok now so that's great news, be thankful for that and force yourself to smile!!
re your job...there's no doubt at all that you were an easy option and they usually use any reason under the sun as an excuse.
re your job...there's no doubt at all that you were an easy option and they usually use any reason under the sun as an excuse.
grumbledoak said:
Go see the 'quack'. If he offers you pills for any stretch longer than two weeks, find a better doctor.
If he/she prescribes Prozac it will be for more than 2 weeks - there wouldn't be much point in prescribing for less. It also is likely to be the GPs first line of attack once moving beyond what they call "watchful waiting".The HAD questionaire used to be the standard for simple diagnosis, but it seems to have been removed from all online (free) sources.
This one is similar
http://www.depression.com/depression_questionnaire...
Fresh air and aerobic exercise work best for me.
This one is similar
http://www.depression.com/depression_questionnaire...
Fresh air and aerobic exercise work best for me.
Hi Boxylady.
Many sensible comments above especially regarding getting out and about, and chatting to random people etc.
Are you able to talk with your partner/best friend about your thoughts and feelings? Some thing are really quite hard to be open and honest about so I'd suggest as have others that a chat with your GP might be in order with a view of unburdening yourself to a counsellor. This basic form of talking therapy can be quite cathartic in a situation like this. Myself, I am about to start a course of CBT as my negative thinking is seriously getting in the way of progress.
Whilst I have been on a mild dose of fluoxetine for some time now you probably dont need to consider dosing yourself up. Just be aware that this time of year is not the best. . . it is great news about your father though, but still you will need to get yourself out and about interacting with others during these shorter days. I cant advise on job hunting as its something I need to sort out myself too!
I wish you well. . .
Many sensible comments above especially regarding getting out and about, and chatting to random people etc.
Are you able to talk with your partner/best friend about your thoughts and feelings? Some thing are really quite hard to be open and honest about so I'd suggest as have others that a chat with your GP might be in order with a view of unburdening yourself to a counsellor. This basic form of talking therapy can be quite cathartic in a situation like this. Myself, I am about to start a course of CBT as my negative thinking is seriously getting in the way of progress.
Whilst I have been on a mild dose of fluoxetine for some time now you probably dont need to consider dosing yourself up. Just be aware that this time of year is not the best. . . it is great news about your father though, but still you will need to get yourself out and about interacting with others during these shorter days. I cant advise on job hunting as its something I need to sort out myself too!
I wish you well. . .
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